I know many successful, beautiful women and we can't find men in DC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it seems sexist, but men generally don't care what you do for a living, or how "successful" you are. It's mostly about looks and personality. Some men are intimidated by women with high-prestige careers, especially if they feel that they are "outranked" socioeconomically. They will assume that a physician or some other professional will look down at them.

As a man, I know it's not true that men are intimidated by women with high-prestige careers. I've never heard this from other men, only women. If the woman is attractive and fun to be around, it doesn't matter what they do. Women in high-prestige careers who can't find men usually cite their professional success as the reason. Don't kid yourself, men are VERY attracted to successful, attractive, and fun women. The successful part is a bonus!!!

yep - i've posted on this before on here. Women lie to themselves saying men don't like that they are smarter and/or earn more or have more prestigious careers. We don't care. Women on the other hand who are in these careers care very much so what the guy is doing.

However, as opportunities equalize between the sexes, the 'high achieving' women chase even higher achieving guys (in-line with female hypergamy) but those guys have way more options and aren't limiting themselves just to the 'high achieving' women as they don't care for a woman's resume nearly as much.

[Anonymous]

I have written this before several times on DCUM...DC is a nightmare for professional women. Almost all of my female friends who remained in DC (I attended law school there) have not gotten married or even paired up. I think there are too few professional men in DC and/or the men in DC are intimated by professional women. I don't know what it is but honestly, if you are serious about getting married and having children, you need to get out of Dodge (DC) and move to a nice smaller city somewhere else..Maybe Indianapolis; maybe Maine; anywhere but DC where women's love lives go to die.

[Anonymous]

* professional women's love lives go to die...

I don't think this is true so much of non professional women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have written this before several times on DCUM...DC is a nightmare for professional women. Almost all of my female friends who remained in DC (I attended law school there) have not gotten married or even paired up. I think there are too few professional men in DC and/or the men in DC are intimated by professional women. I don't know what it is but honestly, if you are serious about getting married and having children, you need to get out of Dodge (DC) and move to a nice smaller city somewhere else..Maybe Indianapolis; maybe Maine; anywhere but DC where women's love lives go to die.

while the ratio skews in favor of guys - this is complete crap. did you not read what i just wrote above?

most men DO NOT CARE and ARE NOT intimidated by what women do for a living.

However most women do not want to marry down.

As women reach parity more and more with men, they chase men at their level or higher - however these men do not have the same constraints - they pick from a much larger pool of women and do not restrict themselves to women that match their resume or higher like women do.

This is why you get an imbalance. If women want equality with guys (a laudable goal), then they should act like guys do in dating when it comes to dating/marrying up or down the class scale (which they wont nearly as much as a guy will).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it seems sexist, but men generally don't care what you do for a living, or how "successful" you are. It's mostly about looks and personality. Some men are intimidated by women with high-prestige careers, especially if they feel that they are "outranked" socioeconomically. They will assume that a physician or some other professional will look down at them.

As a man, I know it's not true that men are intimidated by women with high-prestige careers. I've never heard this from other men, only women. If the woman is attractive and fun to be around, it doesn't matter what they do. Women in high-prestige careers who can't find men usually cite their professional success as the reason. Don't kid yourself, men are VERY attracted to successful, attractive, and fun women. The successful part is a bonus!!!

yep - i've posted on this before on here. Women lie to themselves saying men don't like that they are smarter and/or earn more or have more prestigious careers. We don't care. Women on the other hand who are in these careers care very much so what the guy is doing.

However, as opportunities equalize between the sexes, the 'high achieving' women chase even higher achieving guys (in-line with female hypergamy) but those guys have way more options and aren't limiting themselves just to the 'high achieving' women as they don't care for a woman's resume nearly as much.

Female here. That's an interesting angle I hadn't thought about before. I'm sure there's a lot of truth to it.

[Anonymous]

I agree with this. I'm a professional woman but have never had any issue dating "down" (although I don't see it that way.) When I lived in NYC, which everyone thinks is even worse than DC for dating, I happily dated guys who made $30K or less - a starving artist, a guy who fixed computers, a librarian. They were good guys and had a lot to offer. In the end I married a man who has his own small business and makes an OK living but not by NY/DC standards. I work more regular hours now too and get a smaller wage. But we make it work financially with 2 little kids. He's a great dad and very supportive of my career. We are true equals in our partnership.

I knew people in NY who had lists of things which their "ideal guy" had to have - had to be a high earner, had to be tall, had to be a certain age. I ignored all that and just looked for a guy who was compatible with me, had similar values and a good work ethic. Now a lot of my old friends are either still single or married to men who work constantly and are married to their jobs. Not what I'd choose although extra money would be nice of course!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I know it seems sexist, but men generally don't care what you do for a living, or how "successful" you are. It's mostly about looks and personality. Some men are intimidated by women with high-prestige careers, especially if they feel that they are "outranked" socioeconomically. They will assume that a physician or some other professional will look down at them.




As a man, I know it's not true that men are intimidated by women with high-prestige careers. I've never heard this from other men, only women. If the woman is attractive and fun to be around, it doesn't matter what they do. Women in high-prestige careers who can't find men usually cite their professional success as the reason. Don't kid yourself, men are VERY attracted to successful, attractive, and fun women. The successful part is a bonus!!!


Eh, there are men who immediately walk away when the answer to "what do you do for a living?" is "lawyer." The law is a jealous mistress.

Its you, not your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I know it seems sexist, but men generally don't care what you do for a living, or how "successful" you are. It's mostly about looks and personality. Some men are intimidated by women with high-prestige careers, especially if they feel that they are "outranked" socioeconomically. They will assume that a physician or some other professional will look down at them.




As a man, I know it's not true that men are intimidated by women with high-prestige careers. I've never heard this from other men, only women. If the woman is attractive and fun to be around, it doesn't matter what they do. Women in high-prestige careers who can't find men usually cite their professional success as the reason. Don't kid yourself, men are VERY attracted to successful, attractive, and fun women. The successful part is a bonus!!!


Eh, there are men who immediately walk away when the answer to "what do you do for a living?" is "lawyer." The law is a jealous mistress.

Its you, not your job.

I think it's more the type of woman that wants to become a lawyer, not the career itself. I like one or two who have redeeming qualities - but that's in spite of, not because of, how abrasive and overly assertive they usually are, and how they always seem to need to loudly dominate every conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if you quit bragging about being so successful in your profession, you'd find a guy. A total asshole could be a doctor and a gem could be a mechanic, but would you even give him the time of day knowing he doesn't fit your bizarre standard of success?

Don't laugh but there is nothing wrong with being a mechanic or electrician. They can't outsource those jobs to India and China.

No Joke - and they are starting to outsource Doctors; there's so many unemployed lawyers they don't need to yet.

[Anonymous]

If you go to Atlanta, the first question people ask you is, ‘What’s your business?’ In Macon they ask, ‘Where do you go to church?’ In Augusta, they ask your grandmother’s maiden name. But in Savannah, the first question people ask you is, ‘What would you like to drink?’”

_ From "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil"

Ask me what I would like to drink and not what I do and maybe we'll have something!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have written this before several times on DCUM...DC is a nightmare for professional women. Almost all of my female friends who remained in DC (I attended law school there) have not gotten married or even paired up. I think there are too few professional men in DC and/or the men in DC are intimated by professional women. I don't know what it is but honestly, if you are serious about getting married and having children, you need to get out of Dodge (DC) and move to a nice smaller city somewhere else..Maybe Indianapolis; maybe Maine; anywhere but DC where women's love lives go to die.

while the ratio skews in favor of guys - this is complete crap. did you not read what i just wrote above?

most men DO NOT CARE and ARE NOT intimidated by what women do for a living.

However most women do not want to marry down.

As women reach parity more and more with men, they chase men at their level or higher - however these men do not have the same constraints - they pick from a much larger pool of women and do not restrict themselves to women that match their resume or higher like women do.

This is why you get an imbalance. If women want equality with guys (a laudable goal), then they should act like guys do in dating when it comes to dating/marrying up or down the class scale (which they wont nearly as much as a guy will).

+1M

I'm a guy, make low six figures, but am perfectly "successful" and married a woman who earns 2-3x what I do. She was willing to "marry down", but she has many single friends who are in her income/prestige bracket and cannot find anyone, for exactly this reason. She has several who, like her, were open to someone who didn't necessarily make as much $$$$ or have quite the prestige, and found good people for partners (rather than resumes) and are very happily married, including one lesbian couple. My wife has more than once remarked that my job is in some respects more demanding than hers, at least time-wise, though this varies. It was important to her that I had my act together more than the actual income.

The other women blame it all on "men don't want educated women", and my wife agrees with them to some extent - I'm sure some men (not particularly desirable men) don't have the confidence/balls to be with a woman who is their peer in terms of achievement - but there are plenty of us who are.

[Anonymous]

I am curious, OP, what are criteria for the "right" man. Dan Savage has a saying that there is no "Mr. or Ms. Right" for anyone. You have to be able to put up with a bit of bulls*t if you are going to have a successful relationship with anyone. The kinds of things that are dealbreakers should be counted on one hand.

If you are too demanding in your requirements, you will stay alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another guy with somewhat of a different take.


Instead what you need to do is cultivate some interests that are of interest to you and to men. For example, men are competitive in more ways than sports. So, you may find some that are fanatics for various card games (poker is the easiest to find). Look for trivia nights. There are several places that host regular trivia nights, either trivia competitions or those console games. There are games clubs around the area and they are frequently heavily male. There's a very active science fiction community around and you can find a lot of men there, albeit this is the hangout of a lot of geeky guys. Not just the guys with broken glasses who live in their parents' basement, but normal intellectual types that happen to like science and science fiction, probably work in sciences, engineering or IT.

Another earlier tip that I'll agree with, try not to hang out with so many of your girlfriends at once. Many men find attractive females intimidating. It's easier to approach a woman who is solo or in a small group (2 or 3). Once you get 4+ women together (for some 3+ women), then a lot of men will not approach.

I agree on your point about hanging out with a large group of girlfriends. I had no problem getting dates in DC when I was single. I think it was because I rarely hung out with large groups of gal pals. Guys always told me that I was "approachable". I also was somewhat of a tomboy, so I enjoyed doing fun outdoor activities that guys traditionally like to do. Also, I would never dream of getting involved in a science fiction club to meet guys. Boring! You shouldn't force yourself into club activities that don't interest you just because you are desperate.

[Anonymous]

Had a friend who was a lawyer. Her list was tall, catholic, lawyer or doctor. Let just put it this way...her ego was writing checks her body(really looks and personality) could not cash. Her lack of success in date was not b/c of her job.

I had another friend who was a tall catholic lawyer....after about 30, women would just fall all over him. He had a drinking problem and was very chauvinistic, but women liked the resumes. He is now unemployed while his wife works and takes care of the kids.

[Anonymous]

People got a real f%ked up attitude nowadays when it comes to dating. Everybody thinks they're entitled to something - to someone. Everybody is so stubbornly insistent on superficial shit and sound so negative and bitter about finding someone to spend time with - griping about having to settle for someone "below" their standards etc. Shit is crazy.