I know many successful, beautiful women and we can't find men in DC!

[Anonymous]

Interesting thread. Depressing to hear so many of you devalue/no value female career ambition as a potential mate positive. Curious, what path do you envision for your daughters? Do you feed their independence and intellectual pursuits?

Most curious about Dads with this viewpoint with college aged daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Beautiful women never, ever have trouble finding men. 'Cause they're beautiful. Some unattractive women have trouble finding men though.

When an attractive woman says that she can't find a man, what she really means is that she finds plenty of men... undesirable.

Virtually all attractive women get hit on constantly. The youthful dating experience is completely different for men and women.

Men are frequently too nervous to approach a beautiful woman. I think a lot dismiss her as out of their league. Her prospects are not as good as you read about on a website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. Depressing to hear so many of you devalue/no value female career ambition as a potential mate positive. Curious, what path do you envision for your daughters? Do you feed their independence and intellectual pursuits?

Most curious about Dads with this viewpoint with college aged daughters.

PP that told dc girls should move to pac nw.

I view it as definitely a positive - if that's what makes her happy. However, I don't view it as being compensatory for lacking in other qualities.

Which is a bit different than say a women giving ultra wealthy/powerful guys a pass physically.

That's where the disconnect it. Yes, it is good you are a YLS grad and clerked with scotus - but that doesn't mean you can be a bitch and physically unattractive.

What is also different is most women also will only date/mate 'up'. As more and more women achieve parity with men in terms of education and jobs, they (for the most part) will chase guys at their achievement level or higher.

Guy's don't hold girls to taht standard.

I can push/drive my daughter to be a modern, ambitious, intelligent, independent woman - but I will also teach her that quality men are up and down the socio-economic spectrum - not just at your level or 'higher'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single guy in late 20's here - was out in seattle and portland - you dc girls crush your competition out there.

even just browse on okc - the 6-8 on the attractiveness scale, hyper-educated, driven, ambitious group of women are a dime a dozen around here - there is a real paucity of your type out in the pacnw.

As a sociological tool, okc is super interesting - just browsing different cities on it, you start to get an idea of the distribution of the type of women in a particular area.

These aren't really positives in a woman.

PP you quoted. not a positive or a negative - jut saying there's too many of a certain 'type' here and not enough out there. variety would help the dating pool.

It's been a long time (10 yrs), but when I used to spend a lot more time in Seattle and Portland, I would feel invisible and ignored in NYC, and then land in Seattle and felt like the hottest chick because I ALWAYS met guys in Seattle/Portland. I felt like I got so much more attention... and I read an article the other day about all the west coast towns that are dominated by tech guys, and how the tech guys are actually boring so that even though they outnumber single women, they are so boring and cookie-cutter and clueless, women don't want to keep dating them!

So yes, I echo the "Move to Seattle or Portland!!!" post. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. Depressing to hear so many of you devalue/no value female career ambition as a potential mate positive. Curious, what path do you envision for your daughters? Do you feed their independence and intellectual pursuits?

Most curious about Dads with this viewpoint with college aged daughters.

PP that told dc girls should move to pac nw.

I view it as definitely a positive - if that's what makes her happy. However, I don't view it as being compensatory for lacking in other qualities.

Which is a bit different than say a women giving ultra wealthy/powerful guys a pass physically.

That's where the disconnect it. Yes, it is good you are a YLS grad and clerked with scotus - but that doesn't mean you can be a bitch and physically unattractive.

What is also different is most women also will only date/mate 'up'. As more and more women achieve parity with men in terms of education and jobs, they (for the most part) will chase guys at their achievement level or higher.

Guy's don't hold girls to taht standard.

I can push/drive my daughter to be a modern, ambitious, intelligent, independent woman - but I will also teach her that quality men are up and down the socio-economic spectrum - not just at your level or 'higher'.

These last sentences are significant. A lot of upper-middle class women, who are also career oriented, put off marriage and and have great careers by their mid 30s. That's terrific , but then they often will reject men who are not at their career/socioeconomic level. They seem to expect successful men, in their 30s and 40s, to roll out the red carpet for them, and are shocked when this doesn't happen.

Men don't evaluate women based on their careers. This is very different than how women evaluate men. It is true that a highly-successful, ambitious woman may scare away men, because 1) men don't place that much value on this and 2) these sorts of women often value themselves highly and reject men who they see as beneath them.

[Anonymous]

In DC, in particular, you have a lot of women from wealthy families, ivy-equivalent education, and six-figure incomes. They typically want a man with an equivalent background, but who is also good-looking, confident, is six-feet tall, in great shape, eyc. Then, they expect these men to covet them as if men in these positions don't have lots other options when it comes to women.

Don't expect things to be different on the West Coast. Do you think some thirty-something techie wiz is going to go nuts over an entitled east-coast attorney? People on the West Coast are very turned-off by East Coast materialism.

Most men just want a woman who is attractive and sweet. Men don't expect women to be able to take care of them financially.

That being said, I personally prefer that women have some kind of career and education. I just don't expect their career to be "equal or greater" than mine, which is something that women do constantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In DC, in particular, you have a lot of women from wealthy families, ivy-equivalent education, and six-figure incomes. They typically want a man with an equivalent background, but who is also good-looking, confident, is six-feet tall, in great shape, eyc. Then, they expect these men to covet them as if men in these positions don't have lots other options when it comes to women.

Don't expect things to be different on the West Coast. Do you think some thirty-something techie wiz is going to go nuts over an entitled east-coast attorney? People on the West Coast are very turned-off by East Coast materialism.

Most men just want a woman who is attractive and sweet. Men don't expect women to be able to take care of them financially.

That being said, I personally prefer that women have some kind of career and education. I just don't expect their career to be "equal or greater" than mine, which is something that women do constantly.

+1. Men really just want someone they can have a great time with and who makes them feel good about themselves. They also want to have sex. That's about it!

[Anonymous]

An attractive sweetie who makes $10 an hour doing semiskilled clerical work is more attractive to most men than an attorney, who graduated from Yale, who makes six-figures, is not that physically attractive and has an aggressive and somewhat haughty personality.

I suspect that most women would prefer the attorney.

That being said, an attractive sweetie who is also highly intelligent and has a great career is more attractive than both. But most women in this position reject men unless they have a status that is equal to or greater than their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An attractive sweetie who makes $10 an hour doing semiskilled clerical work is more attractive to most men than an attorney, who graduated from Yale, who makes six-figures, is not that physically attractive and has an aggressive and somewhat haughty personality.

I suspect that most women would prefer the attorney.

That being said, an attractive sweetie who is also highly intelligent and has a great career is more attractive than both. But most women in this position reject men unless they have a status that is equal to or greater than their own.

Yes. My SIL graduated from an Ivy and has a law school degree. She will not date anyone unless they are good looking, a banker or lawyer, come from a wealthy family and have a good personality. The sad thing is she is rather abrasive and not that attractive. Not at all surprising that she's single. I never expect her to marry. She also doesn't get that she needs to simply get to know men as friends and see where things go. She simply doesn't get that men don't really care about her Ivy League education and job. They would like her more if she were kind and attractive. She could be attractive but she's constantly judging people and turns her nose up at everyone. Makes fun of people. Makes her so ugly in my mind.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm 40, successful professionally, and I guess just got lucky. I'm involved with someone I've known platonically for years, and it turned romantic about six months ago after I decided to be open to the idea.

My advice is make some friends and stop looking.

(We met at a roller derby match, of all places)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP guy here.

guys to get these ladies is also pretty easy....

LMS...Looks, Money, Status....these are the levers you must pull, and if you can't pull one or more, you better pull the remaining one really really hard.

So yes, these ladies WILL date blue collar guys but you better look like hugh jackman.

Or they will date surgeons even if they look like shrek and are one in hundreds at a hospital...

or will date broke and even 'ugly guys' but be a high status artist, official, well known in some way etc.

Attractive female here. I would agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An attractive sweetie who makes $10 an hour doing semiskilled clerical work is more attractive to most men than an attorney, who graduated from Yale, who makes six-figures, is not that physically attractive and has an aggressive and somewhat haughty personality.

I suspect that most women would prefer the attorney.

That being said, an attractive sweetie who is also highly intelligent and has a great career is more attractive than both. But most women in this position reject men unless they have a status that is equal to or greater than their own.

Yes. My SIL graduated from an Ivy and has a law school degree. She will not date anyone unless they are good looking, a banker or lawyer, come from a wealthy family and have a good personality. The sad thing is she is rather abrasive and not that attractive. Not at all surprising that she's single. I never expect her to marry. She also doesn't get that she needs to simply get to know men as friends and see where things go. She simply doesn't get that men don't really care about her Ivy League education and job. They would like her more if she were kind and attractive. She could be attractive but she's constantly judging people and turns her nose up at everyone. Makes fun of people. Makes her so ugly in my mind.

How old is your SIL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An attractive sweetie who makes $10 an hour doing semiskilled clerical work is more attractive to most men than an attorney, who graduated from Yale, who makes six-figures, is not that physically attractive and has an aggressive and somewhat haughty personality.

I suspect that most women would prefer the attorney.

That being said, an attractive sweetie who is also highly intelligent and has a great career is more attractive than both. But most women in this position reject men unless they have a status that is equal to or greater than their own.

Yes. My SIL graduated from an Ivy and has a law school degree. She will not date anyone unless they are good looking, a banker or lawyer, come from a wealthy family and have a good personality. The sad thing is she is rather abrasive and not that attractive. Not at all surprising that she's single. I never expect her to marry. She also doesn't get that she needs to simply get to know men as friends and see where things go. She simply doesn't get that men don't really care about her Ivy League education and job. They would like her more if she were kind and attractive. She could be attractive but she's constantly judging people and turns her nose up at everyone. Makes fun of people. Makes her so ugly in my mind.

How old is your SIL?

29