Queen Bee Mom unhappy with me and I'm afraid my kid will pay the price

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just what do these Queen Bees do that makes everyone so terrified of them? There are some nasty women in our school but I don't know anyone who is tip toeing around them like so many folks on this thread seem to.

I'm not going into details, and I'm bowing out after this post because it's brought up a lot of bad memories... But many years ago, my one strong disagreement with a QB led to her DD retaliating so severely, my DD ended up in therapy. No, I'm not a helicopter/drama mom. I knew things were bad with the freezing-out at school, but after a few months my DD started having physical symptoms that for some reason I didn't connect to the events at school. I brought her to the pediatrician because of headaches, not eating, and stomach problems. Next thing I knew, we had a consultation with a therapist who diagnosed her with depression. At six years old. This was a strong, resilient girl who was almost destroyed by her peers. Some of the rumors a few girls were spreading were so perverse, DD didn't even understand what they meant. Today she's OK, but she has always been very reluctant to trust other girls.

Of course, the QB retaliated against me, as well...half the moms wouldn't look me in the eye while these rumors were going around. That didn't concern me and in fact was a good weeding-out process of who had really been a friend in the first place. None of these people are in my life at this point anyway.

I know the attitude around DCUM is "If it didn't happen to me, it can't happen at all," but I couldn't sit by and watch PP after PP dismiss the issues with QBs. Let's not call them QBs, then. Let's call them really nasty people who can cause a lot of trouble for others. Have you all really never encountered such a person in your entire life?

I don't doubt that your DD suffered - and I'm very sorry you both had to go through this. (and here comes the but) But, this is bullying and should not be tolerated at any level. It doesn't matter if this was private or public. Avoiding making the QB unhappy is not the answer. I've got SN kids and am very sensitive to bullying. My kids need medication to control their anxiety but, through counseling, have learned how not to be a victim. Please don't think I'm blaming your DD! She did not deserve nor encourage this. But, I'll be damned if I'll let QB have such control over me or my kids.

[Anonymous]

PP though you say you aren't attacking the bullied women you quoted, you really are by saying you wouldn't let yourself fall into the same situation. Nobody wants to be bullied and the targets are not the ones generally engaging in that type of behavior. This thread actually supports why the queen bee usually gets away with their behaviors as most people blame the victim.