Queen Bee Mom unhappy with me and I'm afraid my kid will pay the price

[Anonymous]

QBM instructing me on how to run school fundraiser but things went in different direction (what she wanted unavailable). Over past four years, she has made numerous snide remarks about my child (implying that she's not too bright) so I'm not a fan of QBM but try to avoid any conflict or hint of conflict. This time, exasperated, told her I couldn't redo plans but she was welcome to take over. Now gives me silent treatment. Do not care about being friends with her, but she and her kid cannot be avoided. How did you manage being ostracized by QBM?

[Anonymous]

does this belong in the private school thread?

[Anonymous]

why would this belong in the private school thread. our school is public and this could easily be a situation. just keep you head held high, OP, you handled it well.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I'm sorry, OP, how long does your DD still have at this school?

My neighbor started screaming at me at pick-up time at school at the beginning of the school year - turns out she is an active volunteer at school, and knows a lot of people although most don't get a friendly vibe from her. She was irate about the polite objections I had raised about the PTA directory.

Just keep to the business at hand and be unfailingly courteous to everyone. Nothing confuses a Queen Bee so much as someone who won't be cowed into submission

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:QBM instructing me on how to run school fundraiser but things went in different direction (what she wanted unavailable). Over past four years, she has made numerous snide remarks about my child (implying that she's not too bright) so I'm not a fan of QBM but try to avoid any conflict or hint of conflict. This time, exasperated, told her I couldn't redo plans but she was welcome to take over. Now gives me silent treatment. Do not care about being friends with her, but she and her kid cannot be avoided. How did you manage being ostracized by QBM?

Consider it a blessing. Now you are free from caring what she does because it doesn't matter what you do. Always act as if your child were watching you from a potted plant in the corner -- always act toward QBM in a way you wish your child would emulate. Know that most moms don't give a flying YOUKNOWWHAT about QBM and her antics. Just seek them out. It is harder to find them because they don't gossip about each other or other people's children.

[Anonymous]

What do you have against pronouns, OP?

[Anonymous]

Good advice about being unfailingly courteous and consider it a blessing.

[Anonymous]

Wait...she was talking about your child not being that bright? Oh Lord I would have gone ape shit on her! I don't care what people say or think about me, but don't talk about my child! I don't know how you stayed calm...I would have gone crazy.

[Anonymous]

Who is in charge of the fundraiser? Are you both on the committee? I would ignore her and continue doing things to pouss her off ujntil she explodes. Also, if she makes a comment about your daughter, tell her to fuck off and leave your kid out of it.

[Anonymous]

Of course you will pay the price and so will your DD. I hate QB moms.

[Anonymous]

OP I am so sorry and I know this happens. I don't want to make you feel worse.

This is exactly why I stay off my kid's turf. I stay out of their school. I wish the PTeacherA had a balance of teachers involved which might curb these QBM. I quickly learned that the PTA was more about satisfying Moms' social needs, which can take a bad turn, and my child deserved their own turf uncomplicated by my relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am so sorry and I know this happens. I don't want to make you feel worse.

This is exactly why I stay off my kid's turf. I stay out of their school. I wish the PTeacherA had a balance of teachers involved which might curb these QBM. I quickly learned that the PTA was more about satisfying Moms' social needs, which can take a bad turn, and my child deserved their own turf uncomplicated by my relationships.

+1 Another mom with the QB PTA mom. The petty meanness and taking out on my DD is just amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you have against pronouns, OP?

Just trying to be concise.

[Anonymous]

honestly I used to worry about this same type of mom. then I realized no one else actually liked her and the people at school all humored her, but really didn't like her either. just make nice with the other moms. don't be the mom that talks bad about anyone even this MOM and just learn to make a circle of friends with the others. this is pretty common at every school, I mean, they all have that one mom. ignore her as best you can. don't engage, just smile, do the bare minimum to communicate with her. she will move on to someone else when she realizes she has no power over you and that you don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I am so sorry and I know this happens. I don't want to make you feel worse.

This is exactly why I stay off my kid's turf. I stay out of their school. I wish the PTeacherA had a balance of teachers involved which might curb these QBM. I quickly learned that the PTA was more about satisfying Moms' social needs, which can take a bad turn, and my child deserved their own turf uncomplicated by my relationships.

+1 Another mom with the QB PTA mom. The petty meanness and taking out on my DD is just amazing.

OP here. Yes, valid point. Although in fairness lots of the other parents are cool. Also, parents are involved in lots of kids activities, such as sports teams, scouts, etc. There's no way to run the activities without some parent volunteers. This particular QBM has told me multiple times that she went to a top Ivy, which is nice, but not required for the sorts of volunteering we are involved with. I know other parents with that background but they don't need to discuss it. I think it may have led her to assume that no one else can handle basic tasks without that accreditation.