Where to find non-immature single men in their 30s?

[Anonymous]

"but because they were overestimating their own desirability, waiting for a better opportunity that never materialized"

this is exactly my point. and this overestimating has increased with the power of social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Market yourself. Ask around - co-workers, friends, etc. and just say that it's been really hard to meet people, or share a funny bad date story. Everyone knows people, I know tons of guys in their early 30s who fit your criteria.

+1. I did this and met a 4 sixes type of guy, as described by a PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"but because they were overestimating their own desirability, waiting for a better opportunity that never materialized"

this is exactly my point. and this overestimating has increased with the power of social media.

No, that was not at all your point. And if anything, social media can help one gain more accurate understanding of her prospects as she will be getting a lot more feedback than in the old days.

[Anonymous]

The average male height in this town is 5'7". If that.

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"but because they were overestimating their own desirability, waiting for a better opportunity that never materialized"

this is exactly my point. and this overestimating has increased with the power of social media.

No, that was not at all your point. And if anything, social media can help one gain more accurate understanding of her prospects as she will be getting a lot more feedback than in the old days.

you're misunderstanding me obviously.

if you have a notion that something better will come along and you're in no hurry to chose, having an additional 100 men in your inbox daily will only serve to strengthen that idea.

you can't get away from the fact that marriage rates are a) declining and b) average marital age is increasing which is logically consistent with all my arguments.

Do you have any data to back up yours?

[Anonymous]

I posted this on a thread -- what I found helpful was to "be the person I wanted to be with." Imagine what qualities you want your guy to have. What kind of life does he lead? Does he hang out at bars, or perhaps a kickball league? Then hang out there yourself. Would your guy probably like a particular show that's at the Kennedy Center? Join a meetup group thats going to see that same show. It's likely you'll find a guy (or someone who knows guys) who like that show through the group. You want a guy who's really into baseball? Start going to tons of Nats games with your friends. You get the picture.

[Anonymous]

http://www.livescience.com/27974-women-media-age-marriage-states.html

Washington DC highest average age of woman's first marriage out of 52 states and districts - 29.7 years old.

[Anonymous]

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/marriage_divorce_tables.htm

marriage rate per 1000

2000: 8.2
2011: 6.2

25% drop off in 11 years.

[Anonymous]

THEREFORE: there are higher than ever numbers of woman in their 20's who are uninterested in marriage/not getting married.

they are marrying with less frequency and at higher ages, with dc being the highest marital age of all -

thereby increasing the pool of non marrying, sexually available, dating women in their 20's to probably their highest levels ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"but because they were overestimating their own desirability, waiting for a better opportunity that never materialized"

this is exactly my point. and this overestimating has increased with the power of social media.

No, that was not at all your point. And if anything, social media can help one gain more accurate understanding of her prospects as she will be getting a lot more feedback than in the old days.

you're misunderstanding me obviously.

if you have a notion that something better will come along and you're in no hurry to chose, having an additional 100 men in your inbox daily will only serve to strengthen that idea.

you can't get away from the fact that marriage rates are a) declining and b) average marital age is increasing which is logically consistent with all my arguments.

Do you have any data to back up yours?

Those 100 additional men will always be in a roughly the same league. So one can, at least in principle, quickly learn that it is not going to get any better than that. Of course, the determining factor will still be one's capacity to adjust her expectations, and quickly.

Marriage rates are not declining in the upper middle class professional circles - those stats apply to lower classes. People we are talking about here also do not get divorced that often. You can read about it in Murray's Coming apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. If you want a partner and think bars aren't a good way to meet a partner, then stop spending so much time in bars.

2. Your "stable" and "upper-middle class background" filters will filter out many men. Why should it be immediately disqualifying if you meet a senior associate/junior partner type whose dad was a laborer?


3. I'm also wondering if you're pretty much looking for a "four sixes" sort of guys: double six figure salary, 6' tall, 6-pack abs, and 6" down there. If so, you're entitled to your preferences, BUT get in line and you'd better bring your A-Game looks and personality wise.

You might as well just look for a unicorn. Even just taking the first two into account, youre at like 5% of men.

WTF? 6 feet tall and six figure salary is a "unicorn"? Then there are a lot of unicorns in DC. Do you work at a law firm, OP? If not, go to one. Every BigLaw lawyer in town makes a six-figure salary. Many (most?) are men. Many of them are 6 feet tall. Few probably have 6 pack abcs, but plenty of them are in great shape (in their 30s). Done.

They may not be "unicorns" but there's not enough of them to go around, not for all the women who'd like to have one.

If you want to have one, that's your choice but bring your "A" game as the supply of such men (who are even remotely near desirable partners) is greatly exceeded by the demand among women for them.

/5'8", making six figures, 235lbs (so, obese), and similar to a Campbell's soup can down there, if folks really have to know. I suspect if I ditched the obese, life might be different.

[Anonymous]

Marriage rates are not declining among the upper classes, folks are just waiting longer and (I suspect) putting up with stuff that they wouldn't have put up with back in the 1970s and 1980s.

Among the lower classes, marriage and divorce are way more common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/marriage_divorce_tables.htm

marriage rate per 1000

2000: 8.2
2011: 6.2

25% drop off in 11 years.

That's because of the break down of "blue collar" family, there is a lot of research on this. Doesn't really apply to "career women" discussed here. They are marrying later, always have, but later is not late. The average woman, even in DC, is in a marriage bound relationship at the age of say 27 or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.livescience.com/27974-women-media-age-marriage-states.html

Washington DC highest average age of woman's first marriage out of 52 states and districts - 29.7 years old.

That was the age when I got married to a 33-year-old guy way back in '95, says happily married DW

[Anonymous]

DC has the highest number of women vs men with 112 per 100 according to the census bureau.

There is just no refuting the fact there are many more available women here who are open to relationships that expand beyond the traditional marriage model including short term dating, open relationships, fuck buddies, etc.

It also explains why DC is a buyer's market for men.