Where to find non-immature single men in their 30s?

[Anonymous]

It seems hard to meet mature 30ish men out in the wild. I feel that approaching or being approached in bars is not genrally a good way to meet a partner, not a hookup. I'm looking for a stable, but fun-loving, handsome man with a great career. I enjoy getting out and being active in nature (jogging, hiking, yoga) but am not a triathlete or a cyclist. It seems like a lot of men on online dating are hardcore athletes, and while I like sports in moderation, this isn't a huge part of my life. I like movies, dining out, art, live music, etc. I come from an upper middle class background and would like to meet someone with a similar upbringing; ethnicity is not important. What are good ways of meeting men like this?

[Anonymous]

Sorry for the typo.

[Anonymous]

Church?

I have a few single guy friends in their mid-30s and sadly, it's pretty apparent why they're single.

[Anonymous]

At work.

[Anonymous]

Give online a try again but keep in mind that you aren't looking for your twin. You all do not need to have the same interest. I met my 32 year old man online. Great career, no kids, stable, handsome, mature, etc. We are completely opposite in every way. Don't have the same taste in music, he loves social settings, I like intimate settings, he drinks, I don't, he hates the outdoors and I love it.

[Anonymous]

1. If you want a partner and think bars aren't a good way to meet a partner, then stop spending so much time in bars.

2. Your "stable" and "upper-middle class background" filters will filter out many men. Why should it be immediately disqualifying if you meet a senior associate/junior partner type whose dad was a laborer?

3. I'm also wondering if you're pretty much looking for a "four sixes" sort of guys: double six figure salary, 6' tall, 6-pack abs, and 6" down there. If so, you're entitled to your preferences, BUT get in line and you'd better bring your A-Game looks and personality wise.

[Anonymous]

Try getting involved in a club/meet-up where the guy/gal ratio works in your favor.

[Anonymous]

Market yourself. Ask around - co-workers, friends, etc. and just say that it's been really hard to meet people, or share a funny bad date story. Everyone knows people, I know tons of guys in their early 30s who fit your criteria.

[Anonymous]

What's the difference between a great guy who approaches you in a bar and a nice guy who approaches you at a church picnic?
What's the difference between a great guy you meet on a dating website and a great guy you meet in the checkout line at the grocery store?

[Anonymous]

Thanks, all. I hardly go to bars anymore because I'm not in that stage, but I am also not meeting a ton of people. That what I was used to in the past as far as meeting men. Not looking for a six pack or an obscene salary or anything like that. I can support myself well. I prefer tall because I am 5'7" but it isn't a dealbreaker, I have dated people around my height before. The reason I would prefer upper middle class is because I would want someone who is comfortable doing things that I like to do from time to time, like going to performing arts events at the Kennedy Center, someone who is used to going to fine restaurants on special occasions (I like hole in the wall ethnic places and inexpensive sushi joints, too), who wouldn't mind going to a night out at a young professionals black tie fundraiser. I'd like someone to go running with or just walk around the city with, too. I don't do fancy things every weekend at all, but it would get tiresome if a guy wasn't accustomed to those kinds of things and had no interest or would feel uncomfortable/unwilling. If a guy was from a blue collar background and open to doing some of the things I like, I'd enjoy that. I find that people who didn't grow up being exposed to things like that tend to not see the value in those kinds of things sometimes. Which is fine, it just might not result in a match. Obviously, a hardworking, loving, and supportive person is by far the most important thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. If you want a partner and think bars aren't a good way to meet a partner, then stop spending so much time in bars.

2. Your "stable" and "upper-middle class background" filters will filter out many men. Why should it be immediately disqualifying if you meet a senior associate/junior partner type whose dad was a laborer?

3. I'm also wondering if you're pretty much looking for a "four sixes" sort of guys: double six figure salary, 6' tall, 6-pack abs, and 6" down there. If so, you're entitled to your preferences, BUT get in line and you'd better bring your A-Game looks and personality wise.

Really? That's it?

[Anonymous]

Op to ^

Yeah, I kind of chuckled at that, too. I'm cool with...that...being average though (I think 6" is about average), as long as a guy is not lazy in bed. I dated a guy who had TOO much downstairs at that wasn't very enjoyable for me, personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I hardly go to bars anymore because I'm not in that stage, but I am also not meeting a ton of people. That what I was used to in the past as far as meeting men. Not looking for a six pack or an obscene salary or anything like that. I can support myself well. I prefer tall because I am 5'7" but it isn't a dealbreaker, I have dated people around my height before. The reason I would prefer upper middle class is because I would want someone who is comfortable doing things that I like to do from time to time, like going to performing arts events at the Kennedy Center, someone who is used to going to fine restaurants on special occasions (I like hole in the wall ethnic places and inexpensive sushi joints, too), who wouldn't mind going to a night out at a young professionals black tie fundraiser. I'd like someone to go running with or just walk around the city with, too. I don't do fancy things every weekend at all, but it would get tiresome if a guy wasn't accustomed to those kinds of things and had no interest or would feel uncomfortable/unwilling. If a guy was from a blue collar background and open to doing some of the things I like, I'd enjoy that. I find that people who didn't grow up being exposed to things like that tend to not see the value in those kinds of things sometimes. Which is fine, it just might not result in a match. Obviously, a hardworking, loving, and supportive person is by far the most important thing.

OP - I was in your boat when I was in my mid-30s. Met a great guy on Match. We are now married going on 10 years, mid-40s, with two kids.

[Anonymous]

PP again -- or what about the DC Young professionals. Is that still around? I remember them having specific events for "over 30."

[Anonymous]

Why is hardworking the first quality?