My Husband Wants Me to Dress Like an Old Maid for an Outing that Will Include His Work Colleagues.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you get that little tuft of wrinkley skin at the top of your cleavage line...that makes the girls look OLD. Cover that up.

[Anonymous]

Huge boobs are so nasty!!

[Anonymous]

the real issue here is perception, and since we have NO idea what OP wants to wear or normally wears, nor what her DH wants her to wear, we cannot make a judgment.

OP needs to post a picture of her self in both outfits and let DCUM judge if she actually wants advice/support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did we time warp to the 1950s? People actually allow their husbands to dictate what they wear? Wow.

+1

I'd be angry if my husband tried to pick out my clothes! I'd refuse to wear them just on principle.

OP if you want to minimize your bust, consult a personal shopper or look up some ideas on fashion blogs, there are plenty of sites out there to address this issue.

What if DH showed up like this at your major work function.

If DH suddenly morphed into this guy he could where whatever the hell he wanted, wherever and whenever!

And if I said, if DW had tits like this gal she could wear whatever she wanted the feminist here would skewer me!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help! I'm 5'7 and very heavy busted. I definitely turn heads when anything I wear is slightly form fitting. I know this and on purpose I dress more conservative. Slightly looser tops, less cleavage, etc... Still, you can tell my bust is out there. Anyways, I actually refused to go on outings with DH because he has now required me to dress like what I consider to be an old maid. The tops are so loose and baggy, they are not flattering at all. FWIW's I have some insecure friends who also encourage me to wear unflattering clothes because they don't like the attention I get (they don't get any). Anyways, DH used to love how I dressed and recently after we've had kids (been together 10 years) he's become more controlling with my dress. So fast forward to now. There's a huge event this weekend and I'll be meeting his coworkers for the first time. I'll be getting my hair and nails done tomorrow and am in the process of getting an outfit together. DH has selected one for me and it is awful. He also had no clue about how something should fit. I will not be comfortable and will be very self-conscious. I see no reason to wear something that will make look 20 pounds overweight. But, actually, I'm not sure why he would want me to look that way. Don't most men want their spouses to turn heads to their co-workers. As an aside, my husband works in an all male environment and it is very sexist. They talk about women like they're trash and this is the norm for good or bad. Anyone attractive is slaughtered. Especially with the single guys in the office. Could this be the problem? Also, I'm not conceited, so no snark please.

I've not read the other posts. But, your DH sounds psycho. I can't imagine that anyone could really be this insecure. How old are you both? Have you ever considered that he's having an affair with someone at work, and wants you to look bad so they won't be jealous? There is no way I'd go anywhere wearing anything that my DH picked out for me. He's a great guy, but not when it comes to dressing me.

[Anonymous]

OP needs to post pics of herself in her preferred outfit and her DH's outfit choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it's not so much that you have a huge rack but more that for a long time you've likely dressed way too trampy and now you're getting older and it's looking even trampier? And your husband doesn't have the heart to tell you this in these terms? I really think that you might not have clear self-awareness on how you present to the rest of the world and I think you have spent a lifetime feeding of the attention that your breasts earn you and that's hard not to use as a crutch. I commend you for your confidence...I just suspect your confidence is clouding how the rest of the world sees you. To put it bluntly, while I bet your husband fell for you partly because of how sexy you seemed to him, I'm wondering if he's now struggling with feelings of embarassment? Do you invest in really good bras? If not, you should. If you live in Silver Spring there is a terrific woman at Dor-Ne Corset shop on Georgia Ave who can fit you perfectly and make the most of your bust.

I think she is onto something here. The OP insists that her breasts be on display at a work function, or she is frumpy. When suggested to cover it up, she gets very mad. OP, I am not jealous or insecure. But boy do those aging women who poke out the rack look trampy...especially after a few kids and the age sets in.

Even when big boobs are covered, they are hard to hide. I never dress slutty and people still make comments. The only thing that minimizes them is a shirt two or three sizes too big, which just looks mumu like.

[Anonymous]

I wonder how many of the women who are outraged that a husband would tell a wife how to dress have either picked out clothes for their husband or told them to change before an event?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help! I'm 5'7 and very heavy busted. I definitely turn heads when anything I wear is slightly form fitting. I know this and on purpose I dress more conservative. Slightly looser tops, less cleavage, etc... Still, you can tell my bust is out there. Anyways, I actually refused to go on outings with DH because he has now required me to dress like what I consider to be an old maid. The tops are so loose and baggy, they are not flattering at all. FWIW's I have some insecure friends who also encourage me to wear unflattering clothes because they don't like the attention I get (they don't get any). Anyways, DH used to love how I dressed and recently after we've had kids (been together 10 years) he's become more controlling with my dress. So fast forward to now. There's a huge event this weekend and I'll be meeting his coworkers for the first time. I'll be getting my hair and nails done tomorrow and am in the process of getting an outfit together. DH has selected one for me and it is awful. He also had no clue about how something should fit. I will not be comfortable and will be very self-conscious. I see no reason to wear something that will make look 20 pounds overweight. But, actually, I'm not sure why he would want me to look that way. Don't most men want their spouses to turn heads to their co-workers. As an aside, my husband works in an all male environment and it is very sexist. They talk about women like they're trash and this is the norm for good or bad. Anyone attractive is slaughtered. Especially with the single guys in the office. Could this be the problem? Also, I'm not conceited, so no snark please.

I've not read the other posts. But, your DH sounds psycho. I can't imagine that anyone could really be this insecure. How old are you both? Have you ever considered that he's having an affair with someone at work, and wants you to look bad so they won't be jealous? There is no way I'd go anywhere wearing anything that my DH picked out for me. He's a great guy, but not when it comes to dressing me.

God, really...WTF is wrong with some of you people responding to these threads? I hate people getting nasty on here, and yet here I am getting annoyed. Can you guys not read? I see thread after thread of obviously bad listeners (in the case of a forum it is listening by reading carefully) who just go off on something unrelated, or at least a rare tangent. Can you not absorb the part about maybe he is trying to protect her from the sexist, nasty guys in his office? Do you not even fathom that may be the case? Or that maybe she is dressing inappropriately for his work outings and he is trying to do the right thing for his career. Or maybe it is some of both. Instead you say he sounds psycho, insecure, and maybe having an affair....everything except for the obvious. I am a woman, and would not be too thrilled in her situation, but really, give people the benefit of the doubt. It is most likely something to do with those things, rather than him being a psychotic, insecure DH having an affair. People like you don't help anyone. Take your garbage and go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huge boobs are so nasty!!

A pair of hairy sweaty balls is so much tastier!

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why the sexism of the office dudes should dictate what she wears.

[Anonymous]

There is a big difference between recommending that someone dress more conservatively and picking outfits for them. And no, I would not pick my husbands clothes unless asked. I would give my opinion but he is a grown up a free to make his own decisions. OPs husband sounds very controlling and disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of the women who are outraged that a husband would tell a wife how to dress have either picked out clothes for their husband or told them to change before an event?

Seriously?? How about never. I have watched him crash and burn and feel stupid for being grossly underdressed, but that's not my problem if he doesn't have the sense to know what's appropriate to wear.

[Anonymous]

Seriously?? How about never. I have watched him crash and burn and feel stupid for being grossly underdressed, but that's not my problem if he doesn't have the sense to know what's appropriate to wear.

Wow! You sound so loving and supporting. Did you secretly feel smug and superior as you "watched him crash and burn" and "feel stupid"? I can't imagine standing back and not helping out my spouse when he is making an obvious mistake. Who stands by passively when their spouse makes a mistake that will hut them personally or professionally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Seriously?? How about never. I have watched him crash and burn and feel stupid for being grossly underdressed, but that's not my problem if he doesn't have the sense to know what's appropriate to wear.

Wow! You sound so loving and supporting. Did you secretly feel smug and superior as you "watched him crash and burn" and "feel stupid"? I can't imagine standing back and not helping out my spouse when he is making an obvious mistake. Who stands by passively when their spouse makes a mistake that will hut them personally or professionally?

Good lord, simmer down. If I tell him what the dress code is, and he chooses to ignore that, that's not my fault you moron. He did it a few times and he learned his lesson. I'm not his babysitter. His professional events are for him to determine what to wear to. I'm referring to things like a fancy restaurant on Valentines Day for instance, where he chose to wear sweat pants. He looked like and felt like a fool, despite my tell him it was a fancy restaurant. Let me guess, if I had said "I do this all the time. I don't want him going out of the house looking like a fool" you'd have called me harpie. So zip it.