My Husband Wants Me to Dress Like an Old Maid for an Outing that Will Include His Work Colleagues.
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Anonymous
| OP If both your husband and your friends are advising you to dress more conservatively, perhaps the clothing that you are choosing to wear is inappropriate--perhaps for your figure, perhaps for your age. I wouldn't automatically assume that your friends are jealous or the attention that you are receiving for your cleavage. Not all attention is good attention. I don't know that this is the case, and I am most certainly no trying to attack you. However, when both your friends (and you did indicate plural) and your husband have expressed concern over your fashion choices, perhaps it is time to listen. |
Anonymous
| Or you could stop dressing like a whore and stunting your husband's work growth. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Really appreciate the advice. Just to clarify. It's not an official work event. It's kind of a festival that's open to the public and a bunch of DHs work crew will be there. The dress code for his work is ultra conservative normally. This is more a t-shirt and jeans type event. Also, I have no desire to turn heads. Believe me. Again, the excitement at my chest is not something I relish in after decades. I'm also a mature woman. I was thinking of wearing a maxi dress with a shawl, though I think that'll be too dressy. T-shirts are out. DH would have a fit. Even a more "dressy" t-shirt. Jeans would be okay, but a top is the problem. Regarding my girlfriends, they're insecure. My confident friends say positive things and are helpful. The insecure ones would hand me a moo-moo to wear with a straight face. Once when I told a friend that we were beautiful woman, she asked me if I was serious that I meant her too. Whatever, again, I get that I'm heavy chested. It's life. I just want to look decent, make hubby proud and not look like a frumpster. If you saw what he selected my fear is that people at his work would talk about how hideous I was. That would be just as bad as the other. |
Anonymous
| Compromise for OP: wear what you want but include a strategically placed scarf/shawl to appease DH. Wear it in a way that won't be a big PITA the whole night though. |
Anonymous
| OP you need to post an example picture of something you would normally wear, and something DH would like for you to wear. No one here can figure out who is being reasonable and who is not based on this description. |
Anonymous
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I'm one of the PPs. It really is almost impossible to conceal a large bust and also appear as if you have a waist.
OP, I've spent most of my life trying to make my bust appear smaller. I don't like the attention they bring. I agree with the PPs about seeing a stylist at Nordstrom. I'd suggest their website, but all the things made for busty women show a bunch of cleavage. The stylist will be able to help you find something. |
Anonymous
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Jeans, blouse & blazer?
Sounds to me that a maxi dress might not be structured enough for someone with your figure. |
Anonymous
Maxi dresses make my 34C boobs look HUGE! I think I would stay away from a Maxi for this event. |
Anonymous
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So just suggest another reasonable option to your husband and I am sure you can reach an agreement. Ordinarily I would say just wear what you want, but when a situation involves your spouse's coworkers, I think you should try to compromise. I would not want my husband to wear the jeans and t shirt he would ordinarily choose to my office parties, etc.
I do think your portrayl of your friends as insecure and out to make you look bad is troubling. If you feel this is true, why are you friends with them? |
Anonymous
| Did we time warp to the 1950s? People actually allow their husbands to dictate what they wear? Wow. |
Anonymous
Would you say something if your husband wanted to wear something totally inappropriate in front of your coworkers? I would. Sorry, but a t shirt that says "I heart crossfit" in giant letters with a hole under the arm is not going to make a nice impression at my office picnic, and I'm going to pick something else for him. |
Anonymous
+1 I'd be angry if my husband tried to pick out my clothes! I'd refuse to wear them just on principle. OP if you want to minimize your bust, consult a personal shopper or look up some ideas on fashion blogs, there are plenty of sites out there to address this issue. |
Anonymous
Sorry, OP, but you need someone to call you on your BS. You're "not conceited" but you somehow have read the minds of your "insecure friends" (who get no attention because you're getting all of it) and you are confused that your husband doesn't want you to wear revealing clothing and "turn heads" at a gathering of sexist, trash-talking boors? Please. |
Anonymous
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I get that OP's DH should love her they way she is and respect her style.
BUT ... when those closest to you are telling you that you're not dressing appropriately, you gotta listen!! I've recently realized that I look much better in more conservative clothing on the top half - I guess it's age. I cringe now at what I was wearing a few years ago. Now I see women with it all hanging out and wish they'd get some help to dress in a style more flattering for their age, size and shape. I'm no prude. But we get so set in our ways, that sometimes we need someone to shake us up. |
Anonymous
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And you think a maxi dress - which was invented to make boobs look bigger - is a great option.
No, you're my friend D, who thinks she's being conservative if her nipples don't show unless she bends over. |