My Husband Wants Me to Dress Like an Old Maid for an Outing that Will Include His Work Colleagues.

[Anonymous]

OP personal shopper time. Your boobs, his work place? How do they go together? Right now the fashion is to show a lot of boob -- not a great thing for you at his workplace. The festival is a workplace in this context.

[Anonymous]

OP here! I'd like to hear from more large busted girls. WWYD. Also, I want to make clear I'm certain that friends who are making insecure comments to me- are insecure. Simple. Done. I don't like posting books on here, so please just go with that simple statement. We're friends and have discussed this for more than 20 years. Everyone is different, everyone has different tastes and confidence levels. I respect my friends and they respect me. I have a ton of confident friends (some big boob sisters, some small). I totally agree with their perspectives most of the time, etc... Trust me, a 3x shirt is not appropriate for me to wear. I also have some maxi dresses that look fabulous with a pretty shawl strategically placed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoo, OP. You are just a bag of drama.

My only advice is to get over yourself. The world does not revolve around your tits. Just wear the outfit your husband picked out. I doubt PP's advice is helpful since you don't have any trusted friends -- they are all jealous of your amazing body, right?

No, I'm not a bag of drama. And I am over myself. Believe me. I've been busty for 30+ years. I know every angle and crevice this conversation is likely to take. My question is for you- why are you so snarky to someone asking for honest advice on here. I know the whole "it's DCUM, what do you expect" mumbo jumbo. But, that doesn't change that you people with unnecessary attitude and built-in self-hatred which comes out when you post just waste everyone's time. Not wanting to to sift through the responses of unhelpful jealous people, I specifically asked for no snark. You read the post and ignored that. Just go away. To everyone else, I really appreciate the advice.

Sorry, OP, but you need someone to call you on your BS. You're "not conceited" but you somehow have read the minds of your "insecure friends" (who get no attention because you're getting all of it) and you are confused that your husband doesn't want you to wear revealing clothing and "turn heads" at a gathering of sexist, trash-talking boors? Please.

I'm calling you on your BS. Just because you're an angry stay at home frumpster doesn't mean you should be bullying big busted ladies. Go throw bon bons at yourself in mirror since you're so bored. Your hating on here is dragging others in to your obvious self-loathing. Fellow big girl, here! Not gonna sit back while us bigguns are lambasted!

[Anonymous]

This thread needs to die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did we time warp to the 1950s? People actually allow their husbands to dictate what they wear? Wow.

+1

I'd be angry if my husband tried to pick out my clothes! I'd refuse to wear them just on principle.

OP if you want to minimize your bust, consult a personal shopper or look up some ideas on fashion blogs, there are plenty of sites out there to address this issue.

What if DH showed up like this at your major work function.

[Anonymous]

I am busty and there are tops you can wear that aren't form fitting nor 3 times too big. I have a few kind of in this style http://www.sourcingmap.com/cut-out-dots-decor-neck-elastic-waist-navy-blue-blouse-xs-for-ladies-p-221932.html that are a happy medium

[Anonymous]

Okay, let's see. I've got that small band (32)/large cup (let's say that I would be thrilled to only be a D) thing going on. I have a pretty well-defined waist. I don't have a great figure -- I'm of average height and weight, could be 10 lbs thinner, less soft, and more toned.

I've got smaller hips in proportion to my chest. So my go-to outfit for something like this would be skinny jeans with a drapey top, like something from Anthropologie or Tracy Reese or French Connection. You can do a looser top, IMO, if it's sized correctly and not too long. That way, it won't hang right from the boobs, but will catch on the right parts of your body without being overly sexy. And you can always add a cardi wrap for warmth if you need to -- I love the ones at H&M. I think they elongate my look, which is critical, as I'm short waisted in addition to being chesty.

I don't wear a lot of blazers, as I think they tend to make me look even more top heavy than I am. And I avoid peplums like the plague. Also spaghetti straps.

[Anonymous]

Wear what your husband asked you to wear. It's his place of employment and his career. He has to deal with those people every day. His wishes should prevail. I understand that you're not going to be happy in the outfit or feel good, but sometimes you have to take one for the team.

I wouldn't let my husband control my day-to-day outfits, though. That's not reasonable. You guys need to sit down and talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Some basic rules:

http://www.bigbustsupport.com/shirts_for_large_breasts.html

[Anonymous]

Ok, I am a 34D normally but lost weight and back at a C BUT I am 5'1 and tiny so my boobs take over me and always have been a key focal point due to cleavage.

I actually have never had my DH comment about what I should wear because I am pretty self concious about putting them out there unless I want to slut it up

For nicer events I always avoid low cut tops or V-necks. NOT a good idea. I prefer to go with a higher cut top to not show any (or very little) cleavage and I accessorize with a chunky statement necklace or something like that. I also do not wear any kind of push up bra, I try to wear more of a grandma one to smash them down, lol.

I dont think you need to hide your boobs, but I think you need to avoid having them spill out. Wear a top that is form fitting but comes up higher or even a dress that has a high neck area and you can accessorize instead of showing your boobs. Hope this helps?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did we time warp to the 1950s? People actually allow their husbands to dictate what they wear? Wow.

+1

I'd be angry if my husband tried to pick out my clothes! I'd refuse to wear them just on principle.

OP if you want to minimize your bust, consult a personal shopper or look up some ideas on fashion blogs, there are plenty of sites out there to address this issue.

What if DH showed up like this at your major work function.

I understand your point. All I could think of though is who wouldn't want their DH to show up looking like David Beckham?

[Anonymous]

Or wear a cami underneath it so you aren't spilling out.

I do think that pp's suggestion to take DH with you to see a personal shopper is an excellent one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help! I'm 5'7 and very heavy busted. I definitely turn heads when anything I wear is slightly form fitting. I know this and on purpose I dress more conservative. Slightly looser tops, less cleavage, etc... Still, you can tell my bust is out there. Anyways, I actually refused to go on outings with DH because he has now required me to dress like what I consider to be an old maid. The tops are so loose and baggy, they are not flattering at all. FWIW's I have some insecure friends who also encourage me to wear unflattering clothes because they don't like the attention I get (they don't get any). Anyways, DH used to love how I dressed and recently after we've had kids (been together 10 years) he's become more controlling with my dress. So fast forward to now. There's a huge event this weekend and I'll be meeting his coworkers for the first time. I'll be getting my hair and nails done tomorrow and am in the process of getting an outfit together. DH has selected one for me and it is awful. He also had no clue about how something should fit. I will not be comfortable and will be very self-conscious. I see no reason to wear something that will make look 20 pounds overweight. But, actually, I'm not sure why he would want me to look that way. Don't most men want their spouses to turn heads to their co-workers. As an aside, my husband works in an all male environment and it is very sexist. They talk about women like they're trash and this is the norm for good or bad. Anyone attractive is slaughtered. Especially with the single guys in the office. Could this be the problem? Also, I'm not conceited, so no snark please.

That is not an aside, as you put it. You answered your own question. It sounds very intense in his office - the way they talk about women. He obviously wants to protect you. He doesn't like thinking about what they will say and think about you. Unless he has always been controlling on this matter, and you said this is new behavior, then that is clearly what it is (the sexist work guys).

You should count yourself lucky that he doesn't want you to be the subject of their sexist remarks. My husband started to work with a boss who was like that, though primarily about his wife. My DH got all buddy buddy with his boss, who talked crap about his wife in a disrepectful and sexist way. His boss would then probe my husband to tell him stuff I did in our marriage (normal things), and encourage him to bitch about me, so the boss could talk about how bad wives are in general. My husband, who I've known for over 20 years to be a women's advocate and very pro-women, actually didn't maintain that boundary, fell into bitching about me and answering questions about me that was private information. It was certainly not stuff you tell to a male chauvenist (and my DH kenw that he was at the time). DH came to his senses, and realized his boss was a complete ass, but that was after getting screwed over by him in a huge way. However, it is really hard to think he didn't want to protect me and our marriage from a jerk like that.

I say to find a compromise set of clothes that you are both okay with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am busty and there are tops you can wear that aren't form fitting nor 3 times too big. I have a few kind of in this style http://www.sourcingmap.com/cut-out-dots-decor-neck-elastic-waist-navy-blue-blouse-xs-for-ladies-p-221932.html that are a happy medium[/quote

That top if ugly and frumpy. Not a happy medium.

[Anonymous]

You wouldn't want anyone to give you the stinky eye, eh, CL?