what to do about mentally ill neighbor?

[Anonymous]

Get several neighbors together and have a friendly meeting with the police. Set up a situation where they can come "listen" without knocking on her door. Once they've verified the problem in a report you'll have some leverage to get her moved to a place that can provide care. The police are usually reasonable and willing to work with you in situations like this, which are apt to become problematic for them down the road if not dealt with preemptively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get several neighbors together and have a friendly meeting with the police.

I've spoken to the police a few times about him.

As for the others here, they may be affected by him but aren't willing to complain to the HOA board members or call the police for that matter. They don't want to become involved. I've been the most vocal about him because I really do want him to get the help he needs. He has no business living alone and, despite what I was told, is unable to take care of himself.

He ended up in my condo complex because his family had no where else to put him. He lived with his brother an hour or so away from here for several years until he sexually assaulted his niece and two of her friends. He was arrested and convicted of 4th degree sexual assault and the friends' families pushed for a no contact order so they brought him here because his sister and brother-in-law live in the immediate area. For several months, he stayed with his sister and brother-in-law but because they have young children themselves they didn't want him staying with them on a permanent basis. So, his step-dad purchased a 1 bed, 1 bath condo in our complex when he had the chance. (Why his mom and step-dad didn't want him living with them is beyond me.)

He was also arrested and convicted of destruction of property. Due to his volatile temper, it's the main reason why others here choose to not get involved.

He has a strange fixation with me. He's flirted with me and thinks I'm lying when I tell him I don't speak or understand Spanish. (I may have a Hispanic last name, but I'm unable to speak, read and write it because I never grew up in that environment. My mom and dad divorced when I was quite young.) Obviously, he thinks I'm playing hard to get and I'm not. He's stalked me twice as I walked my dogs and I ended up filing a police report. His family retaliated by taking him to the police station, filing a police report and slapping me with a TRO (temporary restraining order) saying I was the one harassing him. I ended up in court and the judge ended up throwing it out because his claim lacked any merit and he couldn't ultimately prove any of it. (Apparently, the judge saw past the BS pretty quickly saying she didn't even need to hear me speak to know that. She only let me speak out of courtesy.)

I don't trust anyone in his family.

When the unit was sold, the owner at the time thought she was selling to a widowed man in his 70s who'd be living in the unit because that's what she was told. She found out that wasn't actually the case when she got to the closing table. Once she learned the truth, she felt bad about it.

Not to mention, after he moved in the sister told us he was actually bi-polar and would be eventually working at one of the nearby factories in the industrial park across the way. The mother even confirmed he'd be working and her son even boasted about getting a job and starting in the upcoming weeks. It's pretty obvious now that it was all a lie and he's total incapable of working.

[Anonymous]

By the way, the strangest part about all this is that the day after he moved into our complex the family had a junk car (jalopy) towed in and put in the parking spaces meant for visitors and just left it there. After a few weeks, the brother-in-law came to jump start it and move it to the parking pad in front of his garage. It sat there for months on end unused and we have a rule that states when a car sits unused for more than 2 weeks it's considered inoperable and is deemed abandoned by the HOA. When a complaint gets filed to notify them of this, they can have the vehicle towed at the owner's expense. When I notified the HOA and tried to get them to remove the junk car his family had towed in, the HOA didn't act. I ended up having to go to the village and get the village involved, as there's a similar village ordinance. Eventually, the village did the HOA's job and had the car towed.

Why his family would have a junk car towed in when they know he can't drive makes absolutely no sense to me.

It seems to me his family, on the beginning, was simply trying to make him appear as normal as possible because when I told his sister that he told me he hears voices inside his head she just shrugged it off and told me her brother probably heard others in the association as they were speaking in close proximity.

[Anonymous]

I try to have as little contact with him because he doesn't understand boundaries and can misinterpret what you say even.

He told me shortly after moving here that he was horny and in need of a girlfriend to satisfy his needs. He's tried getting me to go inside his unit several times and I always say no when he asks. He's already been flirting with other women here including women who are both married and dating someone here. The girlfriend of the guy who lives below me is so creeped out by him that she refuses to come here anymore. My neighbor constantly has to go to her place of he wants to see her. It's a crying shame he has to chase people away like that.

What makes me more worried is the fact his sister and brother-in-law receive mail here even though they don't live here. He has a key to the clubhouse and is able to access the mail area. He's already bothered and creeped out our postal lady a few times.

[Anonymous]

I would move. Life’s too short.

[Anonymous]

Go get a gun. Get a gun now. Your safety first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get several neighbors together and have a friendly meeting with the police. Set up a situation where they can come "listen" without knocking on her door. Once they've verified the problem in a report you'll have some leverage to get her moved to a place that can provide care. The police are usually reasonable and willing to work with you in situations like this, which are apt to become problematic for them down the road if not dealt with preemptively.

Most police departments are not trained adequately or properly in handling the mentally ill. There are too many factors (the mentally ill neighbor might have no where to go, or might not be able to afford to move, or might not qualify for resources for the mentally ill); and is often too much liability for the police to get involved. Does the problem/mentally ill neighbor own a gun? That might be what you need to know.

Otherwise, I would move, because you are in for a lot of red tape with this situation. Are you familiar with the situation before you ie: who lived in your unit before you, and why they might have moved (assuming that the mentally ill/problem neighbor lived there then; and also assuming the past resident of your unit is willing to go up against the mentally ill/problem neighbor)? Talk to an attorney and see what they think. Weigh your options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get several neighbors together and have a friendly meeting with the police.

I've spoken to the police a few times about him.

As for the others here, they may be affected by him but aren't willing to complain to the HOA board members or call the police for that matter. They don't want to become involved. I've been the most vocal about him because I really do want him to get the help he needs. He has no business living alone and, despite what I was told, is unable to take care of himself.

He ended up in my condo complex because his family had no where else to put him. He lived with his brother an hour or so away from here for several years until he sexually assaulted his niece and two of her friends. He was arrested and convicted of 4th degree sexual assault and the friends' families pushed for a no contact order so they brought him here because his sister and brother-in-law live in the immediate area. For several months, he stayed with his sister and brother-in-law but because they have young children themselves they didn't want him staying with them on a permanent basis. So, his step-dad purchased a 1 bed, 1 bath condo in our complex when he had the chance. (Why his mom and step-dad didn't want him living with them is beyond me.)

He was also arrested and convicted of destruction of property. Due to his volatile temper, it's the main reason why others here choose to not get involved.

He has a strange fixation with me. He's flirted with me and thinks I'm lying when I tell him I don't speak or understand Spanish. (I may have a Hispanic last name, but I'm unable to speak, read and write it because I never grew up in that environment. My mom and dad divorced when I was quite young.) Obviously, he thinks I'm playing hard to get and I'm not. He's stalked me twice as I walked my dogs and I ended up filing a police report. His family retaliated by taking him to the police station, filing a police report and slapping me with a TRO (temporary restraining order) saying I was the one harassing him. I ended up in court and the judge ended up throwing it out because his claim lacked any merit and he couldn't ultimately prove any of it. (Apparently, the judge saw past the BS pretty quickly saying she didn't even need to hear me speak to know that. She only let me speak out of courtesy.)

I don't trust anyone in his family.

When the unit was sold, the owner at the time thought she was selling to a widowed man in his 70s who'd be living in the unit because that's what she was told. She found out that wasn't actually the case when she got to the closing table. Once she learned the truth, she felt bad about it.

Not to mention, after he moved in the sister told us he was actually bi-polar and would be eventually working at one of the nearby factories in the industrial park across the way. The mother even confirmed he'd be working and her son even boasted about getting a job and starting in the upcoming weeks. It's pretty obvious now that it was all a lie and he's total incapable of working.

+1


You nailed it, OP - the family (and sometimes neighbors) will do whatever it takes to stay off his radar - clearly he is mentally ill. They don't want to deal with him. It is totally worth it for you to move, OP. He is not your responsibility, frankly.

[Anonymous]

move, this is terrifying. i wouldn't want any of my family or friends next to this dangerous person. just go rent somehwere cheap, it's worth it.

[Anonymous]

Leave. Get out. If he's fixated on you either you're in denial about the threat that exists or worried about it enough to negatively effect your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get several neighbors together and have a friendly meeting with the police.

I've spoken to the police a few times about him.

As for the others here, they may be affected by him but aren't willing to complain to the HOA board members or call the police for that matter. They don't want to become involved. I've been the most vocal about him because I really do want him to get the help he needs. He has no business living alone and, despite what I was told, is unable to take care of himself.

He ended up in my condo complex because his family had no where else to put him. He lived with his brother an hour or so away from here for several years until he sexually assaulted his niece and two of her friends. He was arrested and convicted of 4th degree sexual assault and the friends' families pushed for a no contact order so they brought him here because his sister and brother-in-law live in the immediate area. For several months, he stayed with his sister and brother-in-law but because they have young children themselves they didn't want him staying with them on a permanent basis. So, his step-dad purchased a 1 bed, 1 bath condo in our complex when he had the chance. (Why his mom and step-dad didn't want him living with them is beyond me.)

He was also arrested and convicted of destruction of property. Due to his volatile temper, it's the main reason why others here choose to not get involved.

He has a strange fixation with me. He's flirted with me and thinks I'm lying when I tell him I don't speak or understand Spanish. (I may have a Hispanic last name, but I'm unable to speak, read and write it because I never grew up in that environment. My mom and dad divorced when I was quite young.) Obviously, he thinks I'm playing hard to get and I'm not. He's stalked me twice as I walked my dogs and I ended up filing a police report. His family retaliated by taking him to the police station, filing a police report and slapping me with a TRO (temporary restraining order) saying I was the one harassing him. I ended up in court and the judge ended up throwing it out because his claim lacked any merit and he couldn't ultimately prove any of it. (Apparently, the judge saw past the BS pretty quickly saying she didn't even need to hear me speak to know that. She only let me speak out of courtesy.)

I don't trust anyone in his family.

When the unit was sold, the owner at the time thought she was selling to a widowed man in his 70s who'd be living in the unit because that's what she was told. She found out that wasn't actually the case when she got to the closing table. Once she learned the truth, she felt bad about it.

Not to mention, after he moved in the sister told us he was actually bi-polar and would be eventually working at one of the nearby factories in the industrial park across the way. The mother even confirmed he'd be working and her son even boasted about getting a job and starting in the upcoming weeks. It's pretty obvious now that it was all a lie and he's total incapable of working.

You don’t actually have the right to have your mentally ill neighbor kicked out of his home, even if it’s supposedly to ‘get the help he needs’
He has rights and that includes a right to housing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave. Get out. If he's fixated on you either you're in denial about the threat that exists or worried about it enough to negatively effect your life.

She seems fixated on him - how exactly do you know this man’s whole history??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get several neighbors together and have a friendly meeting with the police.

I've spoken to the police a few times about him.

As for the others here, they may be affected by him but aren't willing to complain to the HOA board members or call the police for that matter. They don't want to become involved. I've been the most vocal about him because I really do want him to get the help he needs. He has no business living alone and, despite what I was told, is unable to take care of himself.

He ended up in my condo complex because his family had no where else to put him. He lived with his brother an hour or so away from here for several years until he sexually assaulted his niece and two of her friends. He was arrested and convicted of 4th degree sexual assault and the friends' families pushed for a no contact order so they brought him here because his sister and brother-in-law live in the immediate area. For several months, he stayed with his sister and brother-in-law but because they have young children themselves they didn't want him staying with them on a permanent basis. So, his step-dad purchased a 1 bed, 1 bath condo in our complex when he had the chance. (Why his mom and step-dad didn't want him living with them is beyond me.)

He was also arrested and convicted of destruction of property. Due to his volatile temper, it's the main reason why others here choose to not get involved.

He has a strange fixation with me. He's flirted with me and thinks I'm lying when I tell him I don't speak or understand Spanish. (I may have a Hispanic last name, but I'm unable to speak, read and write it because I never grew up in that environment. My mom and dad divorced when I was quite young.) Obviously, he thinks I'm playing hard to get and I'm not. He's stalked me twice as I walked my dogs and I ended up filing a police report. His family retaliated by taking him to the police station, filing a police report and slapping me with a TRO (temporary restraining order) saying I was the one harassing him. I ended up in court and the judge ended up throwing it out because his claim lacked any merit and he couldn't ultimately prove any of it. (Apparently, the judge saw past the BS pretty quickly saying she didn't even need to hear me speak to know that. She only let me speak out of courtesy.)

I don't trust anyone in his family.

When the unit was sold, the owner at the time thought she was selling to a widowed man in his 70s who'd be living in the unit because that's what she was told. She found out that wasn't actually the case when she got to the closing table. Once she learned the truth, she felt bad about it.

Not to mention, after he moved in the sister told us he was actually bi-polar and would be eventually working at one of the nearby factories in the industrial park across the way. The mother even confirmed he'd be working and her son even boasted about getting a job and starting in the upcoming weeks. It's pretty obvious now that it was all a lie and he's total incapable of working.

How exactly is that your business?
And FYI people who are on disability also have the right to remain in their home.

[Anonymous]

A violent sexual predator with a criminal record who is fixated on you and lives next door. That’s just great. Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave. Get out. If he's fixated on you either you're in denial about the threat that exists or worried about it enough to negatively effect your life.

+1

OP, when someone is fixated, the situation can only snowball. Look at the situation for what it is, be safe and relocate. That neighbor is not going to wake up tomorrow and be different, it will only get worse with someone like him. You have options, he does not.