what to do about mentally ill neighbor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this neighbor a person of color? If so, do not call the cops on them. They could be brutalized by the police or killed. Is that worth you not dealing with some noise? I would also mention that to other neighbors who are regularly calling the cops on this person.

I lived above a mentally ill woman who terrorized our family. She would bang on our floors (her ceiling) at all hours of the night, scream, yell and make our lives miserable. She called us racist, she said we were spying on her... of course, she would stop when the cops were called. She was also black. You are saying that since she was 'a person of color' we should not have called the cops? It got so bad that she threatened to kill me (I was in elementary school) but the cops could never do anything about it since they didn't witness it. We had to hire a lawyer and go after the HOA until they did something about the woman (who was a renter, not owner like the OP's person was). I know this thread is years old but saying not to call the cops b/c of someone's skin color is BS.

If the lady always immediately stopped when the cops showed up, she probably was not mentally ill. She was also very, very lucky that the cops didn't do anything about it. Something tells me that your story is not all true.....white family constantly complaining about a crazy black lady and cops did nothing? Doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this neighbor a person of color? If so, do not call the cops on them. They could be brutalized by the police or killed. Is that worth you not dealing with some noise? I would also mention that to other neighbors who are regularly calling the cops on this person.

I lived above a mentally ill woman who terrorized our family. She would bang on our floors (her ceiling) at all hours of the night, scream, yell and make our lives miserable. She called us racist, she said we were spying on her... of course, she would stop when the cops were called. She was also black. You are saying that since she was 'a person of color' we should not have called the cops? It got so bad that she threatened to kill me (I was in elementary school) but the cops could never do anything about it since they didn't witness it. We had to hire a lawyer and go after the HOA until they did something about the woman (who was a renter, not owner like the OP's person was). I know this thread is years old but saying not to call the cops b/c of someone's skin color is BS.

If the lady always immediately stopped when the cops showed up, she probably was not mentally ill. She was also very, very lucky that the cops didn't do anything about it. Something tells me that your story is not all true.....white family constantly complaining about a crazy black lady and cops did nothing? Doubt it.

You're like a Trumpite that screams "FAKE NEWS!" the moment an inconvenient story or fact crosses her/his path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Renter or owner, if renter it would bed easier to get rid of this kind

Read carefully lot. Renters can have strong rights and turn the tables.

[Anonymous]

It's not just here. I was following a saga on another board by a guy in Berlin whose upstairs neighbor would scream and moan at all hours, leave weird things like trash or lighters outside his door, complain about any noise he made or smells of him cooking, throw yogurt off the balcony, etc. He'd call the police and they'd take her away and she'd be back a couple of days later. Eventually, she committed suicide by lighting herself on fire and nearly burning the building down. He had to move out due to water damage and lost a good deal of his stuff. It takes way too much effort in many places in the world to get help for mentally ill people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not just here. I was following a saga on another board by a guy in Berlin whose upstairs neighbor would scream and moan at all hours, leave weird things like trash or lighters outside his door, complain about any noise he made or smells of him cooking, throw yogurt off the balcony, etc. He'd call the police and they'd take her away and she'd be back a couple of days later. Eventually, she committed suicide by lighting herself on fire and nearly burning the building down. He had to move out due to water damage and lost a good deal of his stuff. It takes way too much effort in many places in the world to get help for mentally ill people.

Precisely why people move - to stay safe.

[Anonymous]

I have struggled with depression and spent two weeks in the hospital six years ago. There were no histrionics and I'm not a substance abuser. The mothers of neighborhood children still treat me like a leper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have struggled with depression and spent two weeks in the hospital six years ago. There were no histrionics and I'm not a substance abuser. The mothers of neighborhood children still treat me like a leper.

I don't understand. If they are not your friends, how would they know such a thing? Many people have depression, but take it out on other people. Good on you for seeking professional help, if that is what you did.

[Anonymous]

I know this is an old thread, but I'm currently dealing with this myself. 10 months ago, a schizophrenic moved into my condo building. The guy's step-dad purchased a 1 bed, 1 bath condo in my building for him and up and dumped him here. The family rarely comes (generally once or twice a month) and when they do come, they don't stay long (usually a few seconds or minutes).

Over the past 10 months, he's had 9 "fits" (1 last May, 1 last June, 2 last September, 2 last October, 1 in January and 2 this month). During these "fits," he's yelling, screaming, swearing, talking to himself and, at times, singing and laughing loudly. He's Hispanic so he always yells, screams and talks to himself in both English and Spanish. The swearing is always in English and the "f" word is his favorite curse word. More often than not, I lose track of how many times he says it. His "fits" usually start outside or in the garage while he's smoking and end inside his unit. He also enjoys slamming doors and pounding on walls. There are times it sounds like a bull in a China shop. His "fits" are usually late at night (after 10 PM) or in the early morning hours (between 2 and 7 AM). There are times he's jolted me and other people in my building out of their sleep. These buildings are 15-16 years old now and were built quite poorly so when he has a "fit," it's hard not to know he's going off.

I and others in my building have tried to deal with his family and haven't been successful in any of our efforts. As far as his family goes, they understand our concerns and are doing the best they can under given circumstances and have made it abundantly clear they don't wish to really discuss this with anyone anymore so continuing to deal with his family is now a lost cause. As far as the HOA goes, they are of little to no help. They're afraid to get involved. My complaints go unanswered and they've cited Fair Housing as their main reason for choosing to take a back seat in the matter. I've reached out to various state departments and non-profit organizations in an effort to get help and have been told there's really nothing they can do unless he ever becomes a direct threat to himself or others and while not taking his medication doesn't make him a direct threat, it gets chalked up as a bad decision he's made but a decision he has every right to make. If he doesn't want to take his medication, then he doesn't want to take his medication.

We consider neglect a form of abuse in this country. We don't tolerate the neglect of children, pets or the elderly and, as such, these acts are punishable under the law yet it seems that the neglect of disabled people, especially the mentally disabled, is somehow exempt from being punishable under the current laws of this country and am dumbfounded as to why we consider it acceptable in this country.

I'm keeping a detailed log of his "fits." I record the date, time and details surrounding the "fit" and, when possible, I grab my tablet and try to record him going off. I also call the police. I'm not quite sure what else to do. My hope is that eventually the police will get tired of responding to his "fits" and start getting the right people involved for me.

Id like to do what my one neighbor recently managed to do and just up and move, but am unable to do so at this time. I'm stuck in a situation I don't want to be in and never asked to be in and am trying to make the best of it. It's my understanding that it takes condo and apartment residents 3 or more years of continuous documentation and calling the police before something finally happens and the right people step in and take some kind of action in the matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ensure he doesn't have guns.

+1

Honestly, I would move OP. It is a long process to get someone like this the help they need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I would move OP.

It's not always possible for someone in this situation to just up and move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this is an old thread, but I'm currently dealing with this myself. 10 months ago, a schizophrenic moved into my condo building. The guy's step-dad purchased a 1 bed, 1 bath condo in my building for him and up and dumped him here. The family rarely comes (generally once or twice a month) and when they do come, they don't stay long (usually a few seconds or minutes).

Over the past 10 months, he's had 9 "fits" (1 last May, 1 last June, 2 last September, 2 last October, 1 in January and 2 this month). During these "fits," he's yelling, screaming, swearing, talking to himself and, at times, singing and laughing loudly. He's Hispanic so he always yells, screams and talks to himself in both English and Spanish. The swearing is always in English and the "f" word is his favorite curse word. More often than not, I lose track of how many times he says it. His "fits" usually start outside or in the garage while he's smoking and end inside his unit. He also enjoys slamming doors and pounding on walls. There are times it sounds like a bull in a China shop. His "fits" are usually late at night (after 10 PM) or in the early morning hours (between 2 and 7 AM). There are times he's jolted me and other people in my building out of their sleep. These buildings are 15-16 years old now and were built quite poorly so when he has a "fit," it's hard not to know he's going off.

I and others in my building have tried to deal with his family and haven't been successful in any of our efforts. As far as his family goes, they understand our concerns and are doing the best they can under given circumstances and have made it abundantly clear they don't wish to really discuss this with anyone anymore so continuing to deal with his family is now a lost cause. As far as the HOA goes, they are of little to no help. They're afraid to get involved. My complaints go unanswered and they've cited Fair Housing as their main reason for choosing to take a back seat in the matter. I've reached out to various state departments and non-profit organizations in an effort to get help and have been told there's really nothing they can do unless he ever becomes a direct threat to himself or others and while not taking his medication doesn't make him a direct threat, it gets chalked up as a bad decision he's made but a decision he has every right to make. If he doesn't want to take his medication, then he doesn't want to take his medication.

We consider neglect a form of abuse in this country. We don't tolerate the neglect of children, pets or the elderly and, as such, these acts are punishable under the law yet it seems that the neglect of disabled people, especially the mentally disabled, is somehow exempt from being punishable under the current laws of this country and am dumbfounded as to why we consider it acceptable in this country.

I'm keeping a detailed log of his "fits." I record the date, time and details surrounding the "fit" and, when possible, I grab my tablet and try to record him going off. I also call the police. I'm not quite sure what else to do. My hope is that eventually the police will get tired of responding to his "fits" and start getting the right people involved for me.

Id like to do what my one neighbor recently managed to do and just up and move, but am unable to do so at this time. I'm stuck in a situation I don't want to be in and never asked to be in and am trying to make the best of it. It's my understanding that it takes condo and apartment residents 3 or more years of continuous documentation and calling the police before something finally happens and the right people step in and take some kind of action in the matter.

Tell the family in no uncertain terms that you are over it, you're calling the police every time and that he will eventually end up with a criminal record and possibly a lot worse. And call adult protective services.

Any chance he's smoking weed before his fits?

[Anonymous]

Only a skim, but:

This person is a vulnerable adult (e.g. a confrontation with the police could result in someone getting killed, most likely the neighbor but also possibly a bystander or police officer).

Contact adult protective services. -- this is a vulnerable adult. There may or may not be an apparent outcome and they take reports from neighbors, family, friends less seriously than reports form other agencies, but do it anyway.

I also agree with calling NAMI. More and more places actually now have mental health response teams that include people who do not arrive in first responder vehicles, do not wear uniforms, and are trained to find ways to address individual situations without having to resort to hospitalization (e.g. 72-hour holds) never mind jails. There may in fact be crisis beds in the community where a person with mental illness can stay temporarily with greater or lesser degrees of supervision and again without officials holds, commitments, or arrests. NAMI should have information about resources.

[Anonymous]

Your neighbor just asked me the same question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any chance he's smoking weed before his fits?

He usually smokes regular cigarettes though he does smoke weed every now and then. He actually showed me his weed after he moved in. He even asked me if he could plant his weed in the common area.

The woman who used to live above him actually moved out because of him and the HOA's lack of involvement over him and the constant disruptions he causes. She had a friend come and help her with the move and when she came over that day to help her friend move out, they could smell the weed and knew he had been smoking it just prior. I've never seen him doing it, but it's my understanding another person has and failed to get involved by calling the police. The guy who lives below me already told me if he ever catches him smoking weed, he really will call the police on him.

[Anonymous]

Just looked up Maryland emergency commitment law, pretty darned appalling. In most states there is legal room for emergency commitment based on things such as risk of serious harm to self/others/property if treatment is not provided.