I'm a happy, fulfilled SAHM.

[Anonymous]

I have a sick child, so I had no choice, I had to stay home. But no, I'm not fulfilled at all by staying home. Yes, I have to use my brain every single day to deal with my child, but I have not enjoyed staying home. I've been home for 12 years, and there's no end in sight, so I will remain bored and unfulfilled. I so wish I could go back to work, and maybe I will in a few years, but my child is still sick (but better), and I am needed here. I probably could have gone back to work sooner, but I did not trust that anyone else could care for my child adequately. So my lack of fulfillment is partly my own fault. If my child had not been ill, I would have gone back to work six months after DC's birth. I am not the right personality type to stay at home. Not happy, not fulfilled. Polar opposite of OP.

[Anonymous]

Op. if you feel you have to justify your choice and let the world know about your fantastic happinness, when no one asked you, I wonder what your subconscious is really trying to communicate. Perhaps doubt, fear and diminishing feelings of self worth...? Fear not, enjoy your homaking experience. Own it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a sick child, so I had no choice, I had to stay home. But no, I'm not fulfilled at all by staying home. Yes, I have to use my brain every single day to deal with my child, but I have not enjoyed staying home. I've been home for 12 years, and there's no end in sight, so I will remain bored and unfulfilled. I so wish I could go back to work, and maybe I will in a few years, but my child is still sick (but better), and I am needed here. I probably could have gone back to work sooner, but I did not trust that anyone else could care for my child adequately. So my lack of fulfillment is partly my own fault. If my child had not been ill, I would have gone back to work six months after DC's birth. I am not the right personality type to stay at home. Not happy, not fulfilled. Polar opposite of OP.

I said a little prayer for you and your child just now pp.

[Anonymous]

I think one reason WOHM's might think SAH is mindless and boring is because they relate it too much to their maternity leave. Maternity leave is temporary, and you have a baby. You don't get yourself involved in the kinds of things in three or fours months that a SAHM will.

I SAH and run my DD's girl scout troop, tutor a middle schooler once a week while my youngest is in preschool, teach Sunday school, have my kids in a co-op preschool and serve on the board, volunteer several times a month at my DD's public school etc.... Not to mention having a large and varied group of friends I spend time with while doing these things. Yes, some of my day is tedious, such as when I'm disciplining my four year old, but my old desk job had plenty of tedium as well.

I am not AT ALL suggesting that SAH is the right way to parent or that women must do it if they want to be good parents. This is just to say that some people imagine they know what being a SAH parent is like when they don't really necessarily know what it can be. It is much different that being trapped in the house with a newborn for their first three months of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love Ann Romney.

Dummies attract dummies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm another totally fulfilled, happy stay at home wife and mom. My kids are all school aged. Our home life simply works better with me at home. And I love it!

In some respects I think our home life would be better too if one of us stayed home - instead of two stressed parents trying to do two jobs, you have a division of labor. On the other hand, my relationship with dh is stronger in some respects now that I am back at work. When I was home, I tended to focus on him too much because he was my only conduit to the adult world. This was both positive and negative - I craved his company, but I also focused any resentment on him.

Still, if we had all the money in the world, I would try staying home for a year or two. As it is, I feel I owe it to our kid to stay economically viable on my own, in case anything happens to dh.

scary

Didn't you have friends?

ick

Of course I have friends, but this was on maternity leave and I did not have much ability to spend time with them in the same way I could pre-baby. Far from the kind of adult interaction at work. Also, you are a mean girl. "Ick."

I never said I was nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another happy, fulfilled SAHM here.

I never had a career, though. I've known for a long time that I WANTED to be a SAHM, this despite my "feminist" mom trying to convince me that I should be a diplomat or something.

My kids are all in school now, but I still stay home. I "justify it" by knowing that on teacher in service days, snow days, sick days, etc. I don't have to scramble for child care. I just love on the first snow day of each year, watching the news stories about all the parents grumbling that they had to leave work early to pick up their kids for the early snow closing.
Also, I do a lot of volunteer work in the schools. A LOT of programs/events/etc. happen in school because of SAH parents volunteering.

You never had a career.

That says it all, PP.

So while your tone is smug, it's also laughable, as most working parents who are reading your post are only thinking you were too goddamn dumb to succeed in any position.

truth

You're not exactly a role model for kids now, are you?

PP, that's not a fair reading of that statement. I am a WOHM with an Ivy League degree and a Ph.D. I had a lot of trouble figuring out the career I wanted to have and dealing with the fact that my Ph.D. wasn't worth much since I couldn't move to another city for a tenure track job because of my partner's great job in DC with much higher earning potential. I am just starting to figure out what might become a career for me instead of just a job. Plenty of people don't end up in a career (as opposed to just an employment situation) who are far from dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, I'd better amend this before people go crazy. I understand that a lot of women prefer working - my best friend is one of those women who would hate staying home and loves her job. I totally get that, I am just not one of those people. My question is why do some people (again, I said both SAHMs and WOHMs) think it must be boring, unfulfilling and "brainless".

It was for me
Which is why i returned PT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another happy, fulfilled SAHM here.

I never had a career, though. I've known for a long time that I WANTED to be a SAHM, this despite my "feminist" mom trying to convince me that I should be a diplomat or something.

My kids are all in school now, but I still stay home. I "justify it" by knowing that on teacher in service days, snow days, sick days, etc. I don't have to scramble for child care. I just love on the first snow day of each year, watching the news stories about all the parents grumbling that they had to leave work early to pick up their kids for the early snow closing.
Also, I do a lot of volunteer work in the schools. A LOT of programs/events/etc. happen in school because of SAH parents volunteering.

You never had a career.

That says it all, PP.

So while your tone is smug, it's also laughable, as most working parents who are reading your post are only thinking you were too goddamn dumb to succeed in any position.

truth

You're not exactly a role model for kids now, are you?

PP, that's not a fair reading of that statement. I am a WOHM with an Ivy League degree and a Ph.D. I had a lot of trouble figuring out the career I wanted to have and dealing with the fact that my Ph.D. wasn't worth much since I couldn't move to another city for a tenure track job because of my partner's great job in DC with much higher earning potential. I am just starting to figure out what might become a career for me instead of just a job. Plenty of people don't end up in a career (as opposed to just an employment situation) who are far from dumb.

This just makes me laugh!

So there was ENOUGH money for your Ivy League degree . . . and then MORE money to cover your PhD . . . and then a partner's "great job in DC with much higher earning potential."

Do you want sympathy b/c the little rich girl can't find happiness?

Give me a break. book smarts, street dumb

None of you get it. While I love my job b/c it's not mindless, I am also among friends who work MINDLESS jobs b/c they have to. Yes, I have to work, but my earning potential is also higher than theirs. So I'm not necessarily struggling.

When I read posts on this forum about "fulfilled" SAHMs or "intellectually superior" women who stepped down from demanding jobs to stay home, I just cringe. How often do you step out of this bubble to allow reality to give you a much needed bitch slap?

So Fulfilled SAHM OP is just an anonymous braggart. That's all. Anyone who posts about being "fulfilled" on a forum is insecure and needs to find others to help validate her cushy existence.

It's easy to be fulfilled and happy when you rely on others to do the work for you. But IF that support were to be ripped away, how would you deal? Would you be happy returning to some MINDLESS job just to pay the bills?

I doubt it.

In fact, I'm 100% certain that the answer would be a FAT no!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another happy, fulfilled SAHM here.

I never had a career, though. I've known for a long time that I WANTED to be a SAHM, this despite my "feminist" mom trying to convince me that I should be a diplomat or something.

My kids are all in school now, but I still stay home. I "justify it" by knowing that on teacher in service days, snow days, sick days, etc. I don't have to scramble for child care. I just love on the first snow day of each year, watching the news stories about all the parents grumbling that they had to leave work early to pick up their kids for the early snow closing.
Also, I do a lot of volunteer work in the schools. A LOT of programs/events/etc. happen in school because of SAH parents volunteering.

You never had a career.

That says it all, PP.

So while your tone is smug, it's also laughable, as most working parents who are reading your post are only thinking you were too goddamn dumb to succeed in any position.

truth

You're not exactly a role model for kids now, are you?

PP, that's not a fair reading of that statement. I am a WOHM with an Ivy League degree and a Ph.D. I had a lot of trouble figuring out the career I wanted to have and dealing with the fact that my Ph.D. wasn't worth much since I couldn't move to another city for a tenure track job because of my partner's great job in DC with much higher earning potential. I am just starting to figure out what might become a career for me instead of just a job. Plenty of people don't end up in a career (as opposed to just an employment situation) who are far from dumb.

This just makes me laugh!

So there was ENOUGH money for your Ivy League degree . . . and then MORE money to cover your PhD . . . and then a partner's "great job in DC with much higher earning potential."

Do you want sympathy b/c the little rich girl can't find happiness?

Give me a break. book smarts, street dumb

None of you get it. While I love my job b/c it's not mindless, I am also among friends who work MINDLESS jobs b/c they have to. Yes, I have to work, but my earning potential is also higher than theirs. So I'm not necessarily struggling.

When I read posts on this forum about "fulfilled" SAHMs or "intellectually superior" women who stepped down from demanding jobs to stay home, I just cringe. How often do you step out of this bubble to allow reality to give you a much needed bitch slap?

So Fulfilled SAHM OP is just an anonymous braggart. That's all. Anyone who posts about being "fulfilled" on a forum is insecure and needs to find others to help validate her cushy existence.

It's easy to be fulfilled and happy when you rely on others to do the work for you. But IF that support were to be ripped away, how would you deal? Would you be happy returning to some MINDLESS job just to pay the bills?

I doubt it.
In fact, I'm 100% certain that the answer would be a FAT no!

I like you!

[Anonymous]

+1

[Anonymous]

+100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another happy, fulfilled SAHM here.

I never had a career, though. I've known for a long time that I WANTED to be a SAHM, this despite my "feminist" mom trying to convince me that I should be a diplomat or something.

My kids are all in school now, but I still stay home. I "justify it" by knowing that on teacher in service days, snow days, sick days, etc. I don't have to scramble for child care. I just love on the first snow day of each year, watching the news stories about all the parents grumbling that they had to leave work early to pick up their kids for the early snow closing.
Also, I do a lot of volunteer work in the schools. A LOT of programs/events/etc. happen in school because of SAH parents volunteering.

You never had a career.

That says it all, PP.

So while your tone is smug, it's also laughable, as most working parents who are reading your post are only thinking you were too goddamn dumb to succeed in any position.

truth

You're not exactly a role model for kids now, are you?

PP, that's not a fair reading of that statement. I am a WOHM with an Ivy League degree and a Ph.D. I had a lot of trouble figuring out the career I wanted to have and dealing with the fact that my Ph.D. wasn't worth much since I couldn't move to another city for a tenure track job because of my partner's great job in DC with much higher earning potential. I am just starting to figure out what might become a career for me instead of just a job. Plenty of people don't end up in a career (as opposed to just an employment situation) who are far from dumb.

This just makes me laugh!

So there was ENOUGH money for your Ivy League degree . . . and then MORE money to cover your PhD . . . and then a partner's "great job in DC with much higher earning potential."

Do you want sympathy b/c the little rich girl can't find happiness?

Give me a break. book smarts, street dumb

None of you get it. While I love my job b/c it's not mindless, I am also among friends who work MINDLESS jobs b/c they have to. Yes, I have to work, but my earning potential is also higher than theirs. So I'm not necessarily struggling.

When I read posts on this forum about "fulfilled" SAHMs or "intellectually superior" women who stepped down from demanding jobs to stay home, I just cringe. How often do you step out of this bubble to allow reality to give you a much needed bitch slap?

So Fulfilled SAHM OP is just an anonymous braggart. That's all. Anyone who posts about being "fulfilled" on a forum is insecure and needs to find others to help validate her cushy existence.

It's easy to be fulfilled and happy when you rely on others to do the work for you. But IF that support were to be ripped away, how would you deal? Would you be happy returning to some MINDLESS job just to pay the bills?

I doubt it.

In fact, I'm 100% certain that the answer would be a FAT no!

Totally agree. To use the word "fulfilled" in this situation is laughable.

[Anonymous]

I'm not "fulfilled" by my job or my role as a mother. My life is much more well rounded that that. I'm a sum of many parts, not just one or two.

Yes, I do choose to work over SAH. My DH pulls in enough to be a 1%er without my income. I don't necessarily enjoy my actual job function, but do enjoy the diverse group of interesting people I work with currently and have worked with in the past. My children are in school full time now and I'm fortunate enough to have a well paying job that requires less than 40hrs a week of me and no commute. I get to volunteer at least once a month in each of my kids classrooms, so for me there is no "choice" I have to make, I can do both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+100.

+1000