I'm a happy, fulfilled SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Why is there a notion among many people (including unhappy SAHMs as well as many WOHMs) that staying at home means you will be bored, unfulfilled and "not using (your) brain"? I am very happy and love my life. In fact, I am happier than ever. I spend a great deal of time reading books and sites on parenting as well as other interests I have. I have more time to pursue those interests now, instead of spending my time in a car commuting and/or at work. And let's be honest, people - you might have an ideal job, but a large percentage of most jobs is grunt work and not always exactly what you'd like to be doing. FWIW I do know what I'm talking about - I graduated from Berkeley and had a great career as an engineer in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a SAHM.

Any other fulfilled, happy SAHMs out there (besides the ones I know IRL)?

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? I would love to stay at home, but would have a hard time justifying it financially/personally after the kid is going to school. Also, do you do the bulk of the housework?

[Anonymous]

They are still at home. Why, will I be less happy when I have more free time? I am sure I'd find something else to do, whether work or volunteer with a non-profit I admire.

Why does the housework question matter? Should I be unfulfilled if I do housework and/or have a mess house?

[Anonymous]

I am. Of course you are going to be harshly judged on here because this area is know for being a great place for corporate overachievers. I have not always been a SAHM neither am I planning on being one forever. I am pursuing interests and one of them is a second career. In the meantime I love dedicating myself to my kids and watching their development closely. I love taking care of my house as well, not cleaning necessarily (though in my case that is part of the game as well), but I do a lot of home projects (like painting kitchen cabinets, my daughter's room, decorating). I always felt like my home needed more TLC and there were a lot of things I wish I could do but never had time. Now I do and I love it.
I love having the house clean, the kids in their PJs, the dinner ready and be showered and dressed when my husband gets home.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher so I'm home with my preschool age kids over the summer. If your kids are at home, how do you find the time to sit down and read a book? I don't say that in a snarky way, I'm completely serious. I bought three books to read over summer vacation this year and I got about halfway through one of them.

[Anonymous]

Your tone is defensive, but good for you. Glad you're happy.

[Anonymous]

I am one too, OP - I've honestly never been more happy or fulfilled in my life! Feel so lucky!

[Anonymous]

There's no way to talk about this subject without sounding defensive. Good for you, OP. I'm right there with you.

[Anonymous]

I would never say it IRL, and know it may be flamed here, but I have never been so happy, so fulfilled in my entire life either. I'll stop there!

( I had a career, went to undergrad/grad school, too.)

[Anonymous]

OP here - well, I would also characterize my post/position as "defensive". But not in a negative way; just in a questioning way. For example: I run a mom's group and sometimes people join who work either part-time or full-time and were SAHMs prior, and they will say "I am so glad to be using my brain again". I don't take it personally because I don't feel that I don't use my brain, but I wonder if they think I don't use my brain. What's ironic is I felt that way sometimes at work when I had tedious things that needed to be done. But raising kids is something I always looked forward to, so maybe that's part of it. Yes there is stress, and housework of course but that needs to be done whether I am at home or not.

[Anonymous]

OP again, forgot to add - I'm happy to see other fulfilled SAHMs on here!

[Anonymous]

Forgot to answer another poster: I find time to do things when the kids are napping or after they go to bed. One is a baby and the other can play by himself for short periods, so there's a little of that. But also, like I said I run a mom's group and one of my interests is socializing/sharing ideas with other moms so I get plenty of that which is really great.

[Anonymous]

Another happy, fulfilled SAHM here.

I never had a career, though. I've known for a long time that I WANTED to be a SAHM, this despite my "feminist" mom trying to convince me that I should be a diplomat or something.

My kids are all in school now, but I still stay home. I "justify it" by knowing that on teacher in service days, snow days, sick days, etc. I don't have to scramble for child care. I just love on the first snow day of each year, watching the news stories about all the parents grumbling that they had to leave work early to pick up their kids for the early snow closing.
Also, I do a lot of volunteer work in the schools. A LOT of programs/events/etc. happen in school because of SAH parents volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Which mom's group do you run?

[Anonymous]

To the PP: why would you "love" to hear about other parents being stressed that they can't find child care on snow days. Or sick days. I work and I can tell you that it is a very anxious feeling. I'm all for people making their own choices, but that level of smugness (to the point of being happy at someone else's misfortune) is quite unbecoming. And, certain types of both WOM amd SAHM moms are guilty of this.