I'm a happy, fulfilled SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another happy, fulfilled SAHM here.

I never had a career, though. I've known for a long time that I WANTED to be a SAHM, this despite my "feminist" mom trying to convince me that I should be a diplomat or something.

My kids are all in school now, but I still stay home. I "justify it" by knowing that on teacher in service days, snow days, sick days, etc. I don't have to scramble for child care. I just love on the first snow day of each year, watching the news stories about all the parents grumbling that they had to leave work early to pick up their kids for the early snow closing.
Also, I do a lot of volunteer work in the schools. A LOT of programs/events/etc. happen in school because of SAH parents volunteering.

You never had a career.

That says it all, PP.

So while your tone is smug, it's also laughable, as most working parents who are reading your post are only thinking you were too goddamn dumb to succeed in any position.

truth

You're not exactly a role model for kids now, are you?

PP, that's not a fair reading of that statement. I am a WOHM with an Ivy League degree and a Ph.D. I had a lot of trouble figuring out the career I wanted to have and dealing with the fact that my Ph.D. wasn't worth much since I couldn't move to another city for a tenure track job because of my partner's great job in DC with much higher earning potential. I am just starting to figure out what might become a career for me instead of just a job. Plenty of people don't end up in a career (as opposed to just an employment situation) who are far from dumb.

Why wouldn't you make sure you had a career before you committed to someone else? I wouldn't have dreamed of getting serious with a guy until I'd finished my grad degree and my career was underway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one reason WOHM's might think SAH is mindless and boring is because they relate it too much to their maternity leave. Maternity leave is temporary, and you have a baby. You don't get yourself involved in the kinds of things in three or fours months that a SAHM will.

I SAH and run my DD's girl scout troop, tutor a middle schooler once a week while my youngest is in preschool, teach Sunday school, have my kids in a co-op preschool and serve on the board, volunteer several times a month at my DD's public school etc.... Not to mention having a large and varied group of friends I spend time with while doing these things. Yes, some of my day is tedious, such as when I'm disciplining my four year old, but my old desk job had plenty of tedium as well.

I am not AT ALL suggesting that SAH is the right way to parent or that women must do it if they want to be good parents. This is just to say that some people imagine they know what being a SAH parent is like when they don't really necessarily know what it can be. It is much different that being trapped in the house with a newborn for their first three months of life.

Why would you have such a busy schedule if you were a SAHM? If you're that busy, you might as well WOH PT.

SAHM has nothing to do with being not busy..it has to do with what makes you busy...different things then if you WOH. If the PP WOH then she wouldn't be able to do the things she does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked for about 7 years post grad as a therapist in a hospital. It was rewarding but emotionally draining. I took a year (while working) to think about whether I wanted to SAH since we were trying to get pregnant. I am now SAM with my three kids. I plan to continue SAH when they go to school since we can manage it financially. I like the idea of being home when they come home and I enjoy taking care of our house, cooking, gardening or just being able to relax in the morning with a cup of coffee- it is seriously a great life. I have friends who could not imagine not being at work outside of the house- they have great kids and a great life too. The only place I see such judgement for these choices is on here. I wonder, of course, if my friends are secretly judging me, but I doubt it.

I have a hard time understanding unambitious women, but I know there are a lot of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked for about 7 years post grad as a therapist in a hospital. It was rewarding but emotionally draining. I took a year (while working) to think about whether I wanted to SAH since we were trying to get pregnant. I am now SAM with my three kids. I plan to continue SAH when they go to school since we can manage it financially. I like the idea of being home when they come home and I enjoy taking care of our house, cooking, gardening or just being able to relax in the morning with a cup of coffee- it is seriously a great life. I have friends who could not imagine not being at work outside of the house- they have great kids and a great life too. The only place I see such judgement for these choices is on here. I wonder, of course, if my friends are secretly judging me, but I doubt it.

I have a hard time understanding unambitious women, but I know there are a lot of them.

I feel staying home with my three kids under four is pretty ambitious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one reason WOHM's might think SAH is mindless and boring is because they relate it too much to their maternity leave. Maternity leave is temporary, and you have a baby. You don't get yourself involved in the kinds of things in three or fours months that a SAHM will.

I SAH and run my DD's girl scout troop, tutor a middle schooler once a week while my youngest is in preschool, teach Sunday school, have my kids in a co-op preschool and serve on the board, volunteer several times a month at my DD's public school etc.... Not to mention having a large and varied group of friends I spend time with while doing these things. Yes, some of my day is tedious, such as when I'm disciplining my four year old, but my old desk job had plenty of tedium as well.

I am not AT ALL suggesting that SAH is the right way to parent or that women must do it if they want to be good parents. This is just to say that some people imagine they know what being a SAH parent is like when they don't really necessarily know what it can be. It is much different that being trapped in the house with a newborn for their first three months of life.

Why would you have such a busy schedule if you were a SAHM? If you're that busy, you might as well WOH PT.

Well, you might be right in that it would be nice to make some money. But this just illustrates the point I was trying to make. Most of the friends I have that SAH are busy like that. There are plenty of misconceptions among people that frequent this board about what people can and often do when they stay home.

Also there are a number of people on here who have a very narrow view of what gives a person worth. Evidently a paycheck trumps all.