Why is it taboo to tell a girl that she should lose weight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what age should a parent address the issue?

Apparantly never. Its actually healthy to be fat.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Really, 11:08? That's really your take-away from the comments on this thread? I haven't posted in the thread before, but I've been impressed by the general rationality, (mostly) politeness, and sense of those who have responded - repeatedly and patiently - to a fairly rudely phrased, hostile initial post and very hostile follow-ups. I don't think ANYONE has said "it's healthy to be fat." I think there has been a consensus in the responses that fitness matters more than weight, and that the appropriate way for parents to respond to this is to work on fitness and eating habits in a way that does not accuse their children of being "fat" or make them feel bad (or worse) about themselves.

(Haven't been reading this post closely enough to know if this has already been posted - but NYT had a timely article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/19/health/19well.html?em )

[Anonymous]

pp, the article is interesting, but most obese people do not get enough exercise. Many thin people don't get exercise either. But the life insurance industry data about body weight is hard to ignore.
I agree with you, the responses are VERY rude on this thread. The issue of obesity has great potential for emotional responses.

[Anonymous]

I think that the insurance companies are saying that there is a relationship is between longevity and weight. The article from the Times says that at this point there are obese people whose numbers loook good. It does not say what the long term prognosis is with that subset. In other words, how long they will live.

[Anonymous]

Is this kid even overweight? I am 4'10"...I do not weigh 105 now, but when I did (pre kids, post a lot of exercise) I was quite thin...Supposedly I can weigh up to 119 and have a normal BMI, and I weigh more than that and look a little chubbier than I'd like, but I am pretty sure no one considers me fat.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, I think majority of the people are projecting their own issues onto the situation.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely (to the PP). When I reread the OP, I also think "why the heck does this woman need to get involved here?" I don't know if the girl is obese or not, but the mom doesn't seem to know what to do and the poster should be supportive and NON JUDGEMENTAL. I mean, geez. That being said, I think obesity is a huge problem in this country and it needs to start at home with smart choices and exercise, but I would never dream of speaking this way about a friend's child.

[Anonymous]

Bottom line, be a good parent and do it by providing good examples yourself. I've seen too many overweight kids because their parents themselves are overweight and do nothing about it. Well, they do something like diet. I can't tell you how worthless dieting is. You have to get off your butt and do some exercise, whether it is just going out for a walk in the evening or morning. Do it with the kids with your spouse or exercise alone. Show them a good example of how to exercise and put it into your daily schedule. You should get 30 minutes of exercise every day. If you exercise daily, you will at least feel better even though you may be overweight. It will probably keep you from gaining more weight. Make sure you mix in some aerobic activity.

[Anonymous]

pp, not everyone can exercise (disability), and dieting is not worthless. It will work if one actually eats less.

[Anonymous]

13:28 Agreed on the disability, however experience just proves that very few can stay on a diet properly, especially for the long term. Too many people buy these diets like Jenny Craig, Nutri-System, etc. and they get the initial weight loss and they are surprised, however in the long term they find themselves gaining all of it back and more as they can't sustain paying the outrageous prices for the food and program. If it worked so well, these companies would go out of business as people would eat less.

Also, by providing a good example of eating properly, (getting rid of the junk foods, sodas, fast foods, preprocessed foods, you'll have only half of the battle).

[Anonymous]

I know that I will get flamed for this, but I thought that the experts no longer think that yo-yo dieting is bad for a person as long as they can keep their weight in a good range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know that I will get flamed for this, but I thought that the experts no longer think that yo-yo dieting is bad for a person as long as they can keep their weight in a good range.

What experts think this???

[Anonymous]

Try this article:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19621031/

[Anonymous]

This thread is funny to me. I noticed that so many people slashed away at OP with terms like "idiot". They seemed to feel that they were so right. Then along came some posts with articles that questioned some of the beliefs we hold to be so true (anorexia and yo-yo diets) then all of a sudden, the meanies retreat.

This is an example of what I don't like about DCUM. What is wrong with civility, even if you are anonymous?
It is not really about this thread, but the behavior. It gets worse on other threads too.

[Anonymous]

I don't have any wonderful advice, but I do have a story on the importance of addressing this issue very delicately. It applies even if the child is not yours - everyone should be instilling proper attitudes about weight and how to treat others with weight issues in their children as early as possible.

My sister was always chubby growing up. Never hugely overweight, just what most would describe as round. She was a wonderful kid, sweet as can be. She could never harm a fly. Due to her weight, she became the target a mean-spirited comments starting at about age 9 or 10. She endured those comments without complaint for 5 years. Then, she started to change. Starting in her freshman year of high school, she started playing tennis and losing some of her “baby fat”. Simultaneously, her body started to develop. By the end of her freshman year she was popular, thin, pretty and getting attention from quite a few boys.

Then, something snapped. She wasn't thin enough - no amount of weight loss was good enough. By her junior year she was hospitalized to anorexia. Soon after that, she developed bulimia. Her weight hovered between the low 80's and high 90's, depending on what she was more consumed with - the anorexia or bulimia.

When she headed for college, we hoped things would get better - and they seemed to. But then one night in late September in her sophomore year of college, following a binge, her stomach ruptured. Her body literally gave out on her. She died 2 days later.

So now she is gone. She will never meet my kids or husband. She will never marry or have kids or her own. Instead, I have to tell my kids about their angel in heaven, one they will only ever know through photos and my stories of her. And it started in part because the world never really accepted her till she was thin.

Do I think that the issue of kids being overweight should be addressed? Of course – it is a huge problem in this country. But please be very, very careful – one can enforce healthy eating habits and exercise without every mentioning a child’s present weight. My sister story is a worst case scenario and I realize that – but do you really want a child to feel or go through even an ounce of her pain?