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Why is it taboo to tell a girl that she should lose weight?
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Anonymous
ugh. that situation really disgusts me. |
Anonymous
What's wrong with giving a 3 year old skim milk? That's what my ped told us to do at DS's 3 year well-child visit... |
Anonymous
Skim milk can be part of a healthy, balanced diet for a growing child. It need not represent deprivation and an unhealthy preoccupation with body weight unless you present it that way to your children (e.g., "We drink skim milk because we don't want to get fat."). |
Anonymous
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13:02 poster here.
meant to add: "...her body is an amazing machine that is worthy of her respect and care no matter what shape or size it is." |
Anonymous
| Is 4' 10 and 105 chubby?? I'm 5'2 and 120-125 lbs, I wear a size four and I'm much, much skinnier than any of my neighbors and co-workers. As a runner and a kid who was into sports I was never pencil thin but never considered chunky because I had muscles. I wonder if the image has changed drastically for kids. Focus on healthy eating and exercise is always better than scale or weight goals based on wanting to be skinny. |
Anonymous
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OP here, I am guessing she is 4'10" just by comparing her to her brother who is about 5'0". She might be shorter. She does look quite heavy. But at what point do you stop dancing around the issue and get straight to the point. This hush hush she might hear attitude can also be harmful. I have seen parents of obviously obese kids say nothing. You would say something if your kids were smoking or biking without a helmet, why not about obesity and exercise? We do tell them to brush their teeth don't we? Any way, I guess based on the posts here, you NEVER say a thing. Just wait until they see their adult doctor to bring it up. BTW, this child is hearing fat jokes from her brother. I think that the image problems start at home not on TV. My issue is about health and that really matters.
I know one very obese woman (360lbs) who wished that her parents had helped her more with her weight when she was a teen. |
Anonymous
| OP: I don't think anyone would disagree that the parents should work with this child (as they should all children whether they are currently heavy or skinny) to instill good eating and exercise habits. But I don't think it's appropriate to throw around the word "obesity" to a 10 year old that seems like she is, at worst, the high end of the acceptable weight range. It's not a matter of dancing around the subject. If she eats poorly and/or doesn't get enough exercise, that is what the parents needs to change. They don't need to confront her about being fat (and it sounds like plenty of people are doing that already). If she's fat, she knows it. You don't have to hammer that point home. They need to help her solve the problem, to the extent there is one, in a positive way. She's still a kid; teach the right behavior. |
Anonymous
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13:02 here.
"Any way, I guess based on the posts here, you NEVER say a thing. Just wait until they see their adult doctor to bring it up. BTW, this child is hearing fat jokes from her brother." Um, first of all, no. Nobody said don't say a thing. People were saying don't be an a**hole, don't heap on issues, and focus on healthy messages and positive body image language. If she's hearing fat jokes from her brother, someone needs to have a discussion with her brother. And maybe the parents of the "obviously obese" kids you know say things when you aren't around because they're not into publicly humiliating their kids. |
Anonymous
| And seriously, if you presented this to me about a kid in real life like you did here? I'd sit on you. |
Anonymous
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No need to bash the OP.
BMI ranges are not meant for kids, so the point isn't what your online calculator tells you. I think the concern is valid, she's only going to have a tough(er) time growing up as a teenager, in high school, college etc... usually it only gets more difficult, and being overweight or chubby is one of the worst things to be teased about. Face it, if adults (i.e. see this thread) can't be nice, don't expect it from kids. (And learning to love your body regardless of what it looks like, well that's another long road, some people take a whole life-time for that... again, don't expect kids or their peers to have that attitude). Ten however is still young enough where you can have an impact and change behavior such as through sports and diet and there is no need to use the words fat and obese. And it can be fun. She's still a child, albeit one that is probably very aware of pop culture, ideal weight and the like already, so speaking from experiences in my family, I think this is a crucial time to change something. |
Anonymous
| I am not implying that you go up to her and say "you're fat". That is taking it way out of context. Why can't a parent say that ( in some contorted way) obesity is unhealthy and it would be in your best interest to exercise more and eat less? |
Anonymous
Oh my god, this is the saddest thing I have read in a very long time. I think I would have had a hard time restraining myself from not ripping this mom a new one. My son is 9 months old and chubby and adorable. So was my 3 year old at that age, who now is as lean as it gets and muscular b/c he is running around literally ALL DAY. Seriously, reading this stuff just makes me sick sometimes... |
Anonymous
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when I was 8 , my mother told me I could not join the ballet class because I was too chubby. (My sister was allowed to do it)
when I was 14, she put me on a diet, promising me something if I would lose a certain amount of weight. at 17 I lost all the excess weight by myself in an extremely short amount of time, battling the yo-yo effect for two years, consuming nothing but coffee, diet coke, cigarettes, salad and fruits. yea, so much for that. I gained all the weight back when I was 24, and now finally at 28 I lost it all again, but it took me a year. I did it the right way this time, changing my habits and working out. (to lose about 48 lbs) I was never obese but definitely overweight. That comment of my mother's stuck in my head all these years, I never got over it. So would I tell my 10 year old she is too fat? No. I will encourage my daughter very early on to be physically active, I would probably start informing her about good foods and bad foods at that age (i.e. making it clear that junk food should be a treat rather than a habit) And if she struggled with her weight, if she knew she was overweight, I would discuss with her how she would like to change it. |
Anonymous
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"This hush hush she might hear attitude can also be harmful. I have seen parents of obviously obese kids say nothing."
What exactly do you expect? Do you expect parents to call their children fat in front of others for your benefit so you know that the kids know? Do you really think that a 10 year old is going to start losing weight because she hears her mother and friend , neighbor or whatever your relationship to them is, discussing how fat she is? OP - you sound a bit odd, something is definetly off about you from this post. |
Anonymous
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When did I say that the mother should say you're too fat? The point is that it should be addressed. The respectful thing to do would be to explain to her that for health reasons, she has to be careful about what she eats, and eat less.
I tell my kids about a ton of things they can not eat. No trans fat, no chewy sweets, no nitro meats, no excess salt, it goes on. What is so wrong with a parent maintaining control of their child's diet? My kids are to young now, but when they ask why we don't eat like other families, I will say that trans fat clogs your arteries, too much salt causes high blood pressure later, sweets cause cavities, nitros cause cancer, too much of anything causes obesity which leads to heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. Yes, I will tell them in plain English. For the same reasons I ask them to wear their helmets, and put them in car seats. I care about their health. |