Best thing to you about being an older mom...

[Anonymous]

Well, for me (age 43, single, ttc #1) it WILL be (hopefully) that I was able to get pregnant at all!!!

[Anonymous]

I don't think that having a college education makes a person a better parent as a rule. It's actually a little offensive. I've known plenty of women with children and no college education and it didn't make those women bad moms. I've known college educated moms, too. Their level of education didn't make them better moms. It's all about the love that a person has for their children. Nothing else matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that having a college education makes a person a better parent as a rule. It's actually a little offensive. I've known plenty of women with children and no college education and it didn't make those women bad moms. I've known college educated moms, too. Their level of education didn't make them better moms. It's all about the love that a person has for their children. Nothing else matters.

Actually, a lot else matters. You need to be able to provide for the kid. And great if your husband can and you want to stay home, but at least have a fall back plan, things happen. I would never say you have to have a college degree to be a good mom, but on the other end of the spectrum I would never say it's just about love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious what kind of careers some of you have "established." I've seen enough divorced partners with messed up kids at my law firm to know that being (too much) career driven results in horrible family relationships. Of course you don't know what came first, the chicken or the egg, but I would say an overwhelming number of partners I worked with were miserable and way too much into their work.

I'd say there are only few careers where I would have put off kids to pursue.... and I obviously did not pick the right one. Find much more fulfillment in raising my kids and doing pro-bono and other volunteer work on the side.

For me, an established career meant that I had proven my value enough and had advanced enough where they were willing to give me some flexibility (I went PT and then reduced schedule for a number of years), vs. being able to replace me cheaply because all you needed is a college degree and a few years of experience and there is a larger pool for that. I also had my own office which helped with pumping - I didn't have to take time off work to pump. And I was earning enough that I could justify going PT and we still could pay for high quality child care.

But, I'm not a lawyer so I'm sure you are talking about another set of issues entirely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that having a college education makes a person a better parent as a rule. It's actually a little offensive. I've known plenty of women with children and no college education and it didn't make those women bad moms. I've known college educated moms, too. Their level of education didn't make them better moms. It's all about the love that a person has for their children. Nothing else matters.

Actually, a lot else matters. You need to be able to provide for the kid. And great if your husband can and you want to stay home, but at least have a fall back plan, things happen. I would never say you have to have a college degree to be a good mom, but on the other end of the spectrum I would never say it's just about love.

OK, fair enough. I will word it in another way.

I believe that love is more important to give to a child than anything that money can buy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if I would have delayed kids that long though, just so I could have eaten at a couple more restaurants.

This is a COMPLETE misrepresentation of what PP said, and you know it. Obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

I am 29. DH and I have been together since I was 21. We've been through some of college, grad school, law school, moving many times and career growth and changes together. We got married 2.5 years ago. We are considered young for DC area parents (haven't given birth to LO yet).

One thing we find in our friends with children who tend to be older than we are; is that we have been together for the same time or MUCH longer than many of our friends and peers (we both happen to be in careers where we moved up quickly and have older professional peers). We are unusual nowadays in that we met in college and have stayed together since. In this city, it is hard to find the right partner, so people seem to get married and settle down later in life. Which means that they tend to have children later in life as well, creating those "older moms" as a norm.

Every family type has different struggles. I've notice that many of these older couples who got married at 35 and are having/trying to have kids now at 37 are having some of the relationship issues that DH and I had a few years ago while settling into our relationship. The nice part about it for the older couples- they aren't broke like we were early in our relationship and can focus JUST on their relationship. While we were working on our relationship, building careers and having no money and dealing with our parents still trying to run our lives because we were young all at the same time!

I don't think one life choice is better than the other. I am comfortable in the choices that DH and I have made and know that others make the choices that are right for them.

In the DC area, people are obsessed with proving that THEIR choices are the right choices. The Arlington is better than MoCo camp, MD is better than VA or DC is better than all, Upper NW or bust, or private v. public schools, or SAHM v WOHM. It never ends in this town. People are so insecure here that they have to justify their life choices by putting down their neighbors. It is so LAME. I like to get help and and advice from a wide variety of people and I pick and choose what feels right for us. It is so easy to get sucked into the "I'm Better Than the Joneses" syndrome and it just doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if I would have delayed kids that long though, just so I could have eaten at a couple more restaurants.

This is a COMPLETE misrepresentation of what PP said, and you know it. Obnoxious.

Can you read? In the context of what I wrote, I was saying that I would not have delayed kids longer just so I could have eaten at a couple more restaurants.. b/c by that time, that is what I would be doing since I had already done all the rest!

[Anonymous]

"OK, fair enough. I will word it in another way.

I believe that love is more important to give to a child than anything that money can buy."

Yes, I agree, but it does not logically follow that it's just fine and dandy to have a child at 18 rather than at 35. You see? Maternal age does make a significant difference in certain areas, especially education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if I would have delayed kids that long though, just so I could have eaten at a couple more restaurants.

This is a COMPLETE misrepresentation of what PP said, and you know it. Obnoxious.

What I don't get is young moms acting superior because travel and career advancement are frivolous compared to the holy grail of motherhood. If they feel superior because they matured faster, yippee for you. I can't change the number of years it took me to settle down into stultifyingly boring early years of motherhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if I would have delayed kids that long though, just so I could have eaten at a couple more restaurants.

This is a COMPLETE misrepresentation of what PP said, and you know it. Obnoxious.

What I don't get is young moms acting superior because travel and career advancement are frivolous compared to the holy grail of motherhood. If they feel superior because they matured faster, yippee for you. I can't change the number of years it took me to settle down into stultifyingly boring early years of motherhood.

I don't get women who complain about how boring motherhood is to them. Travel, take classes, walk around the Jefferson Monument, go to a baseball game, go to the zoo, teach your baby a foreign language. I never found it boring because if I got bored we did something. What is that saying-- boring people get bored? Anywho, motherhood is not jail time, leave your house.

[Anonymous]

My career was advanced enough that I could get a more flexible part-time schedule when I wanted it, I had a lot more money, and a lot more patience. I was 34 and 36 when I had my kids, so I'm not sure if that counts as "older."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if I would have delayed kids that long though, just so I could have eaten at a couple more restaurants.

This is a COMPLETE misrepresentation of what PP said, and you know it. Obnoxious.

What I don't get is young moms acting superior because travel and career advancement are frivolous compared to the holy grail of motherhood. If they feel superior because they matured faster, yippee for you. I can't change the number of years it took me to settle down into stultifyingly boring early years of motherhood.

I don't get women who complain about how boring motherhood is to them. Travel, take classes, walk around the Jefferson Monument, go to a baseball game, go to the zoo, teach your baby a foreign language. I never found it boring because if I got bored we did something. What is that saying-- boring people get bored? Anywho, motherhood is not jail time, leave your house.

Those are all fun (other than teaching baby a foreign language) without needing a baby, and in fact, some of those activities are much more fun without a child along.

[Anonymous]

10:39, the boring part of mothering an infant is the feeding, diapering, soothing. Many, many times a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you don't have as much energy for your kids? I find that older moms/parents tend to be more lenient with their kids. Their laid-backness also means lots of junk food, lots of TV.. etc.

generalize much?