Best thing to you about being an older mom...

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:financial security
financial serciry and
financial security.


And: professional goals mostly attained, don't really stress about the smaller stuff 'cuz I was mostly stressed I wouldn't have these kids at all....no nudginess about going out to parties (absolutely been there done that).....


Don't you mean social security?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:That you can get a senior citizen discount while you still have kids at home?


Better than being carded when you try and go out. Or, I guess you really can't go out? too bad.
Anonymous

The focus I'm able to give them.

I had no idea that I'd managed to check off a whole slew of milestones before they arrived. I'm not anxious about my career or travel or life experience. I lived robustly before these guys showed up.

I have a good idea of what I want to provide for them and am confident in a way I wouldn't have been in my 20s or 30s.

My kids probably benefit from the deep gratitude I feel at having become a mother. I'm sure it doesn't hurt!

Anonymous
It's a thread about the best things about being an older mom... I'm surprised at all the bitterness from younger moms. We're not lording anything over anyone. Us older moms know all the disadvantages we've faced by being older moms. OP started the thread (presumably) to celebrate the good things!
For me, it has been about maturity. I was, as another PP said, an emotional late bloomer. The extra years I waited have allowed me to be someone who can really appreciate each moment with the kids, even when they're waking me up in the middle of the night for the umpteenth time. I can finally hope to raise kids who are free to be who they really are, because I am finally able to be who I really am.

(And no, it didn't make me lazy and lenient as a mom. What a weird assumption. We don't have TV, and they don't get junk food. They get TONS of exercise compared to the average, at least as I saw it in our neighborhood.)
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm glad the older moms feel good about having kids later in life. I think it's one thing if that's how life worked out - you married late, or you weren't able to conceive/adopt til later. I do think it's different though if you deliberately chose to have kids later than earlier. I just can't imagine have my first child now at age 32 - I feel older and it's riskier the older you get for the baby. Yes, you make the most of every situation, but if I had the choice (was married, financially stable) I would definitely have the baby younger than older.


In theory your argument sounds good, in reality--not so much. I married at 28 and waited 7 years to have my first baby. Why? DH and I had no desire those 7 years to have kids. I told myself I would not bring a child into this world until I had an overwhelming desire to become a parent. The unhappy parents I know are the ones that just procreated because it was expected of them or they were on a time schedule---completely ignoring their own and/or DH's feelings about whether or not they were ready.

Emotionally- we were late bloomers. We partied like mad, traveled like mad...even taking sabbaticals to bum around Europe in our early thirties. By 34--I felt like somethign was missing. I was at the height of my career, partied out, and just not satisfied. I started really second-guessing my ideas of what I wanted out of life. I gave birth to my first at 35 and second one month after turning 38 and I am so fulfilled and in such a great place. I don't miss a thing and I agree with the pp that said partying in your mid-20s-early thirties is much different than in your 40s and beyond and so is traveling. I have one friend that had her first child at 28 and she is the one now that always wants to ditch the kids and party...the rest of us in our late 30s and early 40s don't have that same desire. We have more get togethers with kids involved and occassionally nights out...but don't have the burning desire that she does.

I am lucky I got pregnant with both on first try and had very easy pregnancies but DH and I are also extremely healthy eaters and serious gym addicts. In a perfect world--maybe I would have been ready a year or so after marriage...but this is what works for me and I have no regrets.


Glad it worked out for you. Like I said, if you need those years to mature and get things out of your system, then it's better to wait to have kids. I have plenty of young mom friends who feel like they missed out.

I'm not sure if I'm considered one of the older moms - I'm 32 with two kids. I am reading this thread bc I'm interested in hearing what you all think is the best about being an older mom. While some replies are well thought out - others that say they are more mature than a 21 year old mom doesn't carry much weight. In conclusion, I'm glad I had kids when I did and didn't wait any longer!
TooOldToCare
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:financial security
financial serciry and
financial security.


And: professional goals mostly attained, don't really stress about the smaller stuff 'cuz I was mostly stressed I wouldn't have these kids at all....no nudginess about going out to parties (absolutely been there done that).....


Don't you mean social security?


being able to say whatever the hell's on my mind

So, 10:53, what crawled up your ass and died to make you such a miserable bitch?
Anonymous
My siblings had children early. They were envious of my travel the world and establish a career life. I enjoyed my life, but was envious of them having a family.

It took me a while to meet Mister Right. Kissed too many frogs in the process, but that's another story...

My husband is divorced, 2 older children. He is a wonderful father. He realizes how much of his older children's lives he missed because he was busy establishing a career and doing other things that young men that marry and have kids at 21 do.

I'd like to say I have more patience... I just don't know. But at least I have an established career that I've put on cruise control while I balance work and family. I have no desire to see the world or go party on Friday night.

I probably freak out about my children's health too much, but am laid back about some safety stuff. Really, my son is ok on a tricycle on the driveway without a helmet. I don't need the $300 stroller - the $100 one works just fine. I don't care if anyone thinks its a crappy stroller. I'd rather save that money for their college education.

Most of my friends with children the same ages as mine are a 2-5 years younger than me. Its not a big difference, except it seems to me they still care about their career whereas I don't.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'm glad the older moms feel good about having kids later in life. I think it's one thing if that's how life worked out - you married late, or you weren't able to conceive/adopt til later. I do think it's different though if you deliberately chose to have kids later than earlier. I just can't imagine have my first child now at age 32 - I feel older and it's riskier the older you get for the baby. Yes, you make the most of every situation, but if I had the choice (was married, financially stable) I would definitely have the baby younger than older.


At 32 you feel older? You're under 35 and not even considered an older mom. Foolish statement, just foolish.

Anonymous
Stunningly dull thread. Yikes!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It's a thread about the best things about being an older mom... I'm surprised at all the bitterness from younger moms. We're not lording anything over anyone. Us older moms know all the disadvantages we've faced by being older moms. OP started the thread (presumably) to celebrate the good things!
For me, it has been about maturity. I was, as another PP said, an emotional late bloomer. The extra years I waited have allowed me to be someone who can really appreciate each moment with the kids, even when they're waking me up in the middle of the night for the umpteenth time. I can finally hope to raise kids who are free to be who they really are, because I am finally able to be who I really am.

(And no, it didn't make me lazy and lenient as a mom. What a weird assumption. We don't have TV, and they don't get junk food. They get TONS of exercise compared to the average, at least as I saw it in our neighborhood.)


Because that is what children do, complain and bully and pick on others.

While I couldn't give a rats ass about when someone has their kids (young, old, etc) - they seems to obsess about when we have our kids.
Anonymous
"While some replies are well thought out - others that say they are more mature than a 21 year old mom doesn't carry much weight. "

Very little on DCUM carries ANY weight.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had a young fit mom (20 years old when she had me) and we did nothing together growing up. Growing up, my mom never read to me, never took me to the zoo, park, played games together...nothing. Sure she made sure our basic needs were met (clean clothes/food). I'm 40 and as I was rolling around on the floor with my 3 year old yesterday, I was thinking "my mom never did this with me."


Isn't that more indicative of the times not young vs. old? I'm a young mom, probably too young by DC standards (25) and we do music classes, gymnastics, we are learning three languages, I roll around on the floor, swim with, eat with, and breastfeed my 13-month old. I make all his food from scratch with either home-grown or organic foods. I don't think I would have done this 40 years ago because it wasn't the norm.

I think the older moms who say they are more patient because they are an older mom aren't giving themselves enough credit; patience comes with the territory no matter what the age.


At 25, I was just finishing grad school. Getting married, much less having kids, wasn't a passing thought yet. Are you interested in a career at some point?


I have a career that I am maintaining part-time until school starts, or I have more kids. But I didn't add my two cents to seem like a "bitter young mom" I just wanted to add perspective about the PP's mom. I think this choice is a highly personal one and I am blessed and honored to be a mom. My age has no bearing on my relationship with my son and I am his best mom, even if I was younger I would be his best mom. I hate that this is such a divisive argument and it has made finding "mommy friends" difficult for me.
Anonymous
"Glad it worked out for you. Like I said, if you need those years to mature and get things out of your system, then it's better to wait to have kids. I have plenty of young mom friends who feel like they missed out.

I'm not sure if I'm considered one of the older moms - I'm 32 with two kids. I am reading this thread bc I'm interested in hearing what you all think is the best about being an older mom. While some replies are well thought out - others that say they are more mature than a 21 year old mom doesn't carry much weight. In conclusion, I'm glad I had kids when I did and didn't wait any longer! "

Why did I wait until I was 34 to have kids? I didn't marry until 31, and I believe it is important to be married a few years to have a solid relationship before having children. I wasn't interested in monogamy until my late 20s. What's your career trajectory?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That you can get a senior citizen discount while you still have kids at home?


Better than being carded when you try and go out. Or, I guess you really can't go out? too bad.


I love getting carded when I go out!
Anonymous
Curious what kind of careers some of you have "established." I've seen enough divorced partners with messed up kids at my law firm to know that being (too much) career driven results in horrible family relationships. Of course you don't know what came first, the chicken or the egg, but I would say an overwhelming number of partners I worked with were miserable and way too much into their work.

I'd say there are only few careers where I would have put off kids to pursue.... and I obviously did not pick the right one. Find much more fulfillment in raising my kids and doing pro-bono and other volunteer work on the side.
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