Best thing to you about being an older mom...

[Anonymous]

I am glad that I worked out some of my life issues, some of my marriage kinks, and that I did enough livin' that I am happy with storytime and work and am not missing happy hour.

But mainly... I'm glad that I'm old enough not to name my child after one of the Teen Mom show parents or kids and the like.

[Anonymous]

Are we comparing young moms in their early 20s to moms in their 40's? I think a more reasonable comparison would be moms in their mid to upper 20s- early 30s and moms in their 40s. I honestly don't know any moms that are 21.

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm 28 now. We are financially secure and I have sowed my oats. I want to be a SAHM, and we can afford it well.

We have the one 3yo right now, and I could not imagine having less energy. I am also grateful to have the opportunity to be super involved in awesome programs. We want one more and I am ready to commit the same to that one, too, although I expect to have a little bit less anergy to go around. If you love being a mom, there is no wrong age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are we comparing young moms in their early 20s to moms in their 40's? I think a more reasonable comparison would be moms in their mid to upper 20s- early 30s and moms in their 40s. I honestly don't know any moms that are 21.

In this culture, moms under 21 suck miserably. They should not be considered in this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we comparing young moms in their early 20s to moms in their 40's? I think a more reasonable comparison would be moms in their mid to upper 20s- early 30s and moms in their 40s. I honestly don't know any moms that are 21.

In this culture, moms under 21 suck miserably. They should not be considered in this discussion.

of course it's fair to include moms under 21. And I'm sure there are some good ones. It's a totally personal thing. Friends who had kids in their mid-20s were great parents. I envy them now, because they are now becoming relatively free again as their kids get to college age, and can really get out and enjoy things (either with their kids or on their own.)

On the other hand, for me, it worked this way. Like a PP, it took me this long to find the right dad for my kids. And I am a much better mom now than I would have been in my 20s. (more patient, mature)

[Anonymous]

I don't feel the need to compete. I don't care if you are 20 or 39

[Anonymous]

I thought at 31 I was one of the younger moms, but if we are including 21 year olds then am I one of the older ones? Of course I am more mature than when I was when I was 21! It's not a very high standard to meet....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the DC area, I think older moms are the rule rather than the exception. IMO, most women here choose to complete their education and establish their careers before marrying and having kids. I'm kind of surprised when I see younger moms in their 20's. In my crowd, most first-time moms are mid to late 30's and a few are early 40's. These women are far from geriatric. Most are healthy, fit, and much better moms than they would have been if their children were born when they were younger.

I agree. I was pregnant with first at 34 (birth at 35) and everyone I meet with kids my age (now have a 3.5 year old and 6 year old) is right around my age...more older than younger than me. I got slammed on a different post saying this was the 'norm' around here--but frankly in DC proper or close-in affluent hoods it is totally the norm and I have yet to meet a single mom that gave birth before 30...and most started in mid-30s. All of my college friends have kids the same ages.

Best thing for me---I was 10 years into a great career and at a point that I have an incredibly flexible schedule, huge amounts of leave and WAH 100%. I did get married in my late 20s, but I wouldn't have the opportunities to both work full-time from home and be there for my kids before and after school if I started procreating any earlier. I also feel my kids keep me feeling younger. It is great not to be trying to climb the corporate ladder at the same time you are beginning a family.

If I lived in a different part of the country I am sure I'd feel like a very old mom-but here- I feel just like one of the pack.

[Anonymous]

don't feel in the least hemmed in by the massive change that having kids has meant--because I have pursued my education to the final degree, have lived abroad, have traveled, have moved to different cities and lived in different kinds of neighborhoods, have had years of dining at every new restaurant, have hiked in Peru and Chile, biked in France, etc. Not to say that younger parents don't do these things, but for me, either I would have wanted kids young, and then been young enough to enjoy life after they're out of the house (and before grandparent duties) or been able to really focus on kids now that i have then.

the other reason? Being with little kids makes me look younger. Okay, maybe not really,but it forces me to be in good shape and to keep myself healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:don't feel in the least hemmed in by the massive change that having kids has meant--because I have pursued my education to the final degree, have lived abroad, have traveled, have moved to different cities and lived in different kinds of neighborhoods, have had years of dining at every new restaurant, have hiked in Peru and Chile, biked in France, etc. Not to say that younger parents don't do these things, but for me, either I would have wanted kids young, and then been young enough to enjoy life after they're out of the house (and before grandparent duties) or been able to really focus on kids now that i have then.

the other reason? Being with little kids makes me look younger. Okay, maybe not really,but it forces me to be in good shape and to keep myself healthy.

Interesting that you mention all the things that you were able to do before you had kids. If these things are really important to you then I think it is good to wait to have kids, otherwise you will forever think you missed out. There are, though, plenty of younger moms who don't feel the need to have traveled extensively or have dined at all the great restaurants.

I had my first at 27 and I can say I did all the things you mentioned above. I don't know if I would have delayed kids that long though, just so I could have eaten at a couple more restaurants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a young fit mom (20 years old when she had me) and we did nothing together growing up. Growing up, my mom never read to me, never took me to the zoo, park, played games together...nothing. Sure she made sure our basic needs were met (clean clothes/food). I'm 40 and as I was rolling around on the floor with my 3 year old yesterday, I was thinking "my mom never did this with me."

Isn't that more indicative of the times not young vs. old? I'm a young mom, probably too young by DC standards (25) and we do music classes, gymnastics, we are learning three languages, I roll around on the floor, swim with, eat with, and breastfeed my 13-month old. I make all his food from scratch with either home-grown or organic foods. I don't think I would have done this 40 years ago because it wasn't the norm.

I think the older moms who say they are more patient because they are an older mom aren't giving themselves enough credit; patience comes with the territory no matter what the age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you don't have as much energy for your kids? I find that older moms/parents tend to be more lenient with their kids. Their laid-backness also means lots of junk food, lots of TV.. etc.

Sorry, but I have found this to be true. Not necessarily junk food and TV but leniency about behavior in general.

I actually find older moms to be better educated and more engaged with their children than younger moms.

[Anonymous]

there are some very insecure people in this thread....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you don't have as much energy for your kids? I find that older moms/parents tend to be more lenient with their kids. Their laid-backness also means lots of junk food, lots of TV.. etc.

Sorry, but I have found this to be true. Not necessarily junk food and TV but leniency about behavior in general.

I actually find older moms to be better educated and more engaged with their children than younger moms.

In your opinion.

I feel like that one judge on The Good Wife. Please, realize that one cannot be better than the other. We are tAlking about our own perceived advantages. In our own opinion. Kthanksbye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you don't have as much energy for your kids? I find that older moms/parents tend to be more lenient with their kids. Their laid-backness also means lots of junk food, lots of TV.. etc.

Sorry, but I have found this to be true. Not necessarily junk food and TV but leniency about behavior in general.

I actually find older moms to be better educated and more engaged with their children than younger moms.

If you're talking a 20 year old mom vs. a 40 year old mom, then yes the 40 year old is probably better educated. If you're talking 27 year old vs. 40 year old.. I'm sure the education levels might be the same.