tell me about an ongoing saga in your life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have a "otherwise good husband". So we have separate bedrooms. He has not made amends for his cheating, and I'm not having him back in my bed until I am satisfied that he gets it.
But otherwise... we've been best friends for 20 years. Several of those before we were romantically involved. We have kids, and he's a great dad. He pulls his weight around the house. And yes, his salary is essential to my and our kids' lifestyle. We still have a marriage, we just don't have sex.

Sorry, but in my mind you have a roomate, not a marriage. I hope you figure things out or at least are content with the current situation. Life is too short to be unhappy.

Nope, roommates don't raise my kids, be more kind to my mother than she deserves, scratch my back, refill the water glass next to my bed (because he knows I forget and then have a hard time taking my morning medication), pair my socks, remind me of my brother's birthday, or share more than half my history. I don't pretend it's perfect, or what I'd always hoped for. But I'm also not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater, and flounce away from my family over an incident of infidelity.

This a beautiful way of putting it, PP. Thank you for your sensible words. This is what is meant when people say that marriage is complicated.

Have you done any counselling together? I think your current strategy is likely to lead to continued affairs and quite possibly the dissolution of your current arrangement. Your keeping him in the doghouse doesn't mean he isn't getting any. If you want the back scratching to continue you might want to reconsider your tactics.

[Anonymous]

PP who's keeping her hubby in the doghouse: How the fark is it healthy to nurse a grudge over an affair for years?

And the women who're encouraging PP to ply her baby daddy with alcohol -- simply disgusting. Hey, maybe she can have a second kid with this guy so he can get scared and run off again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP who's keeping her hubby in the doghouse: How the fark is it healthy to nurse a grudge over an affair for years?

And the women who're encouraging PP to ply her baby daddy with alcohol -- simply disgusting. Hey, maybe she can have a second kid with this guy so he can get scared and run off again!

Completely agree on both accounts.

[Anonymous]

Re: keeping my husband in the doghouse. I am not keeping him there. I am not holding a grudge. He understands my position and he knows what the conditions are for returning to our regularly scheduled marriage; he just hasn't met them yet. I find his reasons and his timeline acceptable.

You suggest that perhaps I should have a temper tantrum and stomp away from a 20-year relationship, without giving the man time to work through his emotions? Primetime TV teaches us that the only way to deal with infidelity is to have a screaming fit, throw his clothing out the windows, and change the locks. Well, I don't take my life lessons from TV. Nor from judgmental DCUMs who believe that the elephant is very like a rope, so to speak.

[Anonymous]

10:42 PP here - some of my friends are convinced we'll end up back together after a month living together! I don't have any such expectations. I think it's unlikely that either one of us will get the other drunk and take advantage, lol. I just want to get along with him, not irritate him (about the extended stay) and help ease the transition for our daughter to a new neighborhood, house and school. Still... you never know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:lol.
I flew out to Colorado to visit family (where I'm from) with my husband and 2 small kids. I spent time with momd, dad, and 1 brother & his family and 1 sister & her family. But 1 brother and 1 sister were too busy the entire week to see me. We planned a couple meet-ups, but they canceled the first and didn't bother with the second.
Ok, we are not the closest of siblings. But seriously, I spent over $2k in expenses to fly out there to see everyone for a week, and they couldn't drive 30 minutes out of their way to have lunch? WTF?!?

OMG! This sounds like my family. It makes me crazy, but then they never travel anywhere, so expecting them to drive 20 minutes is evidently a big freakin' deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Er, sorry, that was ply the gentleman with liquor. I did not mean to imply kinkiness.

LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP who's keeping her hubby in the doghouse: How the fark is it healthy to nurse a grudge over an affair for years?

And the women who're encouraging PP to ply her baby daddy with alcohol -- simply disgusting. Hey, maybe she can have a second kid with this guy so he can get scared and run off again!

Let me explain it to you. It's called a joke. It's when someone says something that's not serious and others are meant to find humor in it. They might even laugh.