tell me about an ongoing saga in your life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What do you do and how much money do you make? I work at a great company that is really flexible, and we need three people right now.

If you can post your company's website, I'd love to see what's open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been taking care of my mother, who has dementia, for 8 years. I pay her bills; coordinate her healthcare; deal with insurance issues; pre-load her meds every month; buy clothing for her; arrange for podiatrist visits; arrange for extra help; etc.

I have seven siblings but you would think I was an only child, given how (un)involved they have been.

This week my mother is going into hospice. Suddenly a few of my siblings are coming alive and paying attention. As soon as she is gone, I'm sure they will be calling me looking for checks. (I am the executrix of her will.)

I am exhausted. And sad. And angry.

Hugs to you. You are a blessing to your mother. You have every right to be frustrated with your siblings...but all the good karma comes to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a FT working mom; bored as heck at my understimulating job, and expecting another baby. When I told my non-parent boss that I am pregnant, boss basically suggested I stay at home with the kids. I have been asking for more work for weeks, but hardly get a response - meanwhile, boss is hiring another person in our 'super busy' group.
Additionally, DH and I are looking to move house and I don't expect to return to work FT after baby and moving house.
Would love to cut hours (now or after baby comes) - don't know about suggesting my hours be cut, because I was formerly PT and was told there was too much work to continue that.

What do you do and how much money do you make? I work at a great company that is really flexible, and we need three people right now.

Ha ha.
I'm a web designer / trainer and totally underchallenged. Would love to know what your company needs!

[Anonymous]

"I have a relationship like this and have for about 5 years, but infidelity is not what got us here. It has its pros and cons. It's nice to have someone to rely on, but occasionally disappointing. To the other poster asking about sex, some things are just more important than sex. There is an understanding that either of us are free to seek an outside sexual relationship, but who has time for that while working full time and caring for a child? Not me. It would also be an awkward conversation with a potential partner: "Um, yes, we live together, but we are not together".


I'd get a babysitter and/or take vacation time from work for lunch dates. Sex is important to me (female, work full time, two small children).

[Anonymous]

Here's my saga. It's not particularly agonizing, but it might be good boredom reading.

I'm moving out of my current house at the end of the month and won't be able to move into the new house for 5 weeks after that. The simplest solution to our short-term housing crisis is to move in with my daughter's dad. We get along really well and we've lived together before - for 3 weeks after our daughter's birth. It's the most sensible solution, given that it would be easy for me and the least disruptive living arrangement for my daughter. (she spends 2 nights a week at her dad's place anyway.) no-brainer, right?

well, I have more-than-platonic feelings for him. So this could be a very interesting 5 weeks. we were dating when we found out we were pregnant, but we didn't have enough dating history to deal with the pregnancy well, and we broke up because of it. I never really quite got over him, though, or the feeling that I wished we could have kept dating. We fit better than most people I dated.

So now we'll be in the same space for 5 weeks. Neither of us is dating anyone. I don't think he's had a relationship since we broke up. (I've had dates here and there, but haven't had sex since last fall.) As I said, this could get interesting...I may have to stop drinking for the duration so I'm not tempted to do something stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's my saga. It's not particularly agonizing, but it might be good boredom reading.

I'm moving out of my current house at the end of the month and won't be able to move into the new house for 5 weeks after that. The simplest solution to our short-term housing crisis is to move in with my daughter's dad. We get along really well and we've lived together before - for 3 weeks after our daughter's birth. It's the most sensible solution, given that it would be easy for me and the least disruptive living arrangement for my daughter. (she spends 2 nights a week at her dad's place anyway.) no-brainer, right?

well, I have more-than-platonic feelings for him. So this could be a very interesting 5 weeks. we were dating when we found out we were pregnant, but we didn't have enough dating history to deal with the pregnancy well, and we broke up because of it. I never really quite got over him, though, or the feeling that I wished we could have kept dating. We fit better than most people I dated.

So now we'll be in the same space for 5 weeks. Neither of us is dating anyone. I don't think he's had a relationship since we broke up. (I've had dates here and there, but haven't had sex since last fall.) As I said, this could get interesting...I may have to stop drinking for the duration so I'm not tempted to do something stupid.

Ooh, this is a good one. I want a status update when you get settled.
The romantic in me wants for a rekindling for the two of you - if this is the right thing for you and your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Ooh, 10:42, I like your story the best! You'll have to keep us updated.

I think you should not only NOT stop drinking, you should ply the gentlemen with liquor as well. You have major barriers up, and I'm sure a lot of awkwardness, which is totally understandable. Booze will wash all that away, and let nature take its course.

[Anonymous]

Er, sorry, that was ply the gentleman with liquor. I did not mean to imply kinkiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Nope, roommates don't raise my kids, be more kind to my mother than she deserves, scratch my back, refill the water glass next to my bed (because he knows I forget and then have a hard time taking my morning medication), pair my socks, remind me of my brother's birthday, or share more than half my history. I don't pretend it's perfect, or what I'd always hoped for. But I'm also not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater, and flounce away from my family over an incident of infidelity.

I have a relationship like this and have for about 5 years, but infidelity is not what got us here. It has its pros and cons. It's nice to have someone to rely on, but occasionally disappointing. To the other poster asking about sex, some things are just more important than sex. There is an understanding that either of us are free to seek an outside sexual relationship, but who has time for that while working full time and caring for a child? Not me. It would also be an awkward conversation with a potential partner: "Um, yes, we live together, but we are not together".

I'm speaking for myself. I have no idea how the other poster handles it.

I wasn't trying to be mean. I just think that sex is a great stress relief and obviously shouldn't be all about the man in the relationship. At very least I would suggest that you buy a detachable showerhead. You sound like you have a lot on your plate and I hope you make time for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the PP who supports the mother. She has depression and finally started being treated for it about four years ago. It's being passed on from her dad, who killed himself, to her and then to me. I suspect my suffering from it has somehow played a role in my supporting her all these years.

She has no education (fifth grade was the highest she got) and was a stay at home mom who never tried to do anything for work, even after stepfather left. I saw no choice but to help. But it's been a long time, and my brother did not pitch in for many, many years. It's worn me out, not so much for the money but for her inability to enjoy life. It's not easy to live your life when you think your mom is miserable, so paying the bills helped me feel better. One time she overdosed on pills and it was all I could do to feel like if I hadn't been in graduate school I could have been supporting her better and that would not have happened.

I really just wanted her to come here and help me when I needed her. That's all. And I still can't believe that she could not do that for me.

I'm not spiteful to answer the PP above, just worn out.

Your feelings are not unusual! Clearly you are grieving the mom you never had (you know - the one that can manage to help you out for a week after you've given birth). I'd really recommend that you find a therapist to talk to about these issues. It will make you feel so much better and should help you to learn what appropriate boundaries are so that you can heal. Giving you virtual hugs now...

[Anonymous]

My saga pales in comparison to some of the stories here. For all posters going through rough times, hugs and kudos to you. Here goes mine. My bff started acting strangely towards me about a year ago. Because of some family issues I was going through at the time, it took me a while to put things together. I confronted her to find out what was going on. She told me that she didn't want to talk about it. A mutual friend of ours noticed what was going on and went to talk to her about it. Stil she didn't say what it was. We used to talk to each other at least 3X a day but now we don't talk on the phone at all but run into each at least once a week. The puzzling thing is that she still gives me gifts. She gave me a gift for my birthday and for mother's day. Till date, I still don't know what I did and don't know what to make of the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My saga pales in comparison to some of the stories here. For all posters going through rough times, hugs and kudos to you. Here goes mine. My bff started acting strangely towards me about a year ago. Because of some family issues I was going through at the time, it took me a while to put things together. I confronted her to find out what was going on. She told me that she didn't want to talk about it. A mutual friend of ours noticed what was going on and went to talk to her about it. Stil she didn't say what it was. We used to talk to each other at least 3X a day but now we don't talk on the phone at all but run into each at least once a week. The puzzling thing is that she still gives me gifts. She gave me a gift for my birthday and for mother's day. Till date, I still don't know what I did and don't know what to make of the situation.

I sort of have a similar situation. I stopped talking to a longtime friend because we had nothing in common. We were friends for over 20 years, but there was nothing "there" anymore. It was a bad break-up too. She became very confrontational about why I wasn't talking to her as much anymore. It has become a very uncomfortable dynamic for us, mutual friends and family members. Anyway, I have since become really good friends with her SIL. I don't know if she knows about it either. Part of me doesn't care if she knows, but I am not going to call her out of the blue and say, "Hey, I am good friends with your brother's wife. Still don't want to get tangled up in your stuff. Hope you're well. Uh, that's it...bye!" The weird thing is the ex-friend is now in a serious relationship with a new guy and I don't know how I will handle it when/if they get engaged. Do I call/text congratualtions? Do I pretend I don't know? Plus, I don't really talk about my SIL friendship with some of my friends because they might go back to the ex-friend and I think that would be painful for her. Ugh...just typing this out makes me feel like I am in 10th grade again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's my saga. It's not particularly agonizing, but it might be good boredom reading.

I'm moving out of my current house at the end of the month and won't be able to move into the new house for 5 weeks after that. The simplest solution to our short-term housing crisis is to move in with my daughter's dad. We get along really well and we've lived together before - for 3 weeks after our daughter's birth. It's the most sensible solution, given that it would be easy for me and the least disruptive living arrangement for my daughter. (she spends 2 nights a week at her dad's place anyway.) no-brainer, right?

well, I have more-than-platonic feelings for him. So this could be a very interesting 5 weeks. we were dating when we found out we were pregnant, but we didn't have enough dating history to deal with the pregnancy well, and we broke up because of it. I never really quite got over him, though, or the feeling that I wished we could have kept dating. We fit better than most people I dated.

So now we'll be in the same space for 5 weeks. Neither of us is dating anyone. I don't think he's had a relationship since we broke up. (I've had dates here and there, but haven't had sex since last fall.) As I said, this could get interesting...I may have to stop drinking for the duration so I'm not tempted to do something stupid.

This is awesome!! I agree with PPs, keep us posted! Definitely pulling for you on this one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't trying to be mean. I just think that sex is a great stress relief and obviously shouldn't be all about the man in the relationship. At very least I would suggest that you buy a detachable showerhead. You sound like you have a lot on your plate and I hope you make time for you.

I'm not saying it's a bad situation. Sex has its benefits, but so does coming home to a cooked dinner every night and someone to help with the parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My saga pales in comparison to some of the stories here. For all posters going through rough times, hugs and kudos to you. Here goes mine. My bff started acting strangely towards me about a year ago. Because of some family issues I was going through at the time, it took me a while to put things together. I confronted her to find out what was going on. She told me that she didn't want to talk about it. A mutual friend of ours noticed what was going on and went to talk to her about it. Stil she didn't say what it was. We used to talk to each other at least 3X a day but now we don't talk on the phone at all but run into each at least once a week. The puzzling thing is that she still gives me gifts. She gave me a gift for my birthday and for mother's day. Till date, I still don't know what I did and don't know what to make of the situation.

I hear ya. I had a good friend, 15+ years. Used to date my brother, and that's how we met, and when they broke up (badly) I stayed friends with her, and took some hits from my brother for it too. Skip ahead many years, and my DH and I were getting married in an immediate-family-only wedding, not even aunts and uncles and cousins. It was a destination wedding and it just so happened to be close by to where she lived, and she expected to be invited. I told her we just weren't going there, that if I made an exception for her, my husband would make an exception for all of his friends who happened to live nearby (we got married in the Keys, she lives in Miami, as do quite a few of DH's friends). She didn't take any of this well, and it turns out she badmouthed me and my husband at my bachelorette party (my friends told me this after my friendship with her tanked.) Long story, I'm assuming she refuses to talk to me because of that, but she never told me. I actually tried reaching out to her on facebook recently, and she blew that off too. It was (and quite frankly still is) incredibly hurtful. That was four years ago now.