Angry Doesn't Begin to Describe My Anger Right Now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, can I just say that amateurs should not touch currency trading! Holy crap, it's an easy way to lose money FAST. "Friend" was probably taken in himself by some fancy platform and a 20$ /month subscription to some crappy investment strategy newsletter.

sorry OP, I would find it very, very hard to forgive my husband if he did that. Ultimately I would assuming that it was done with good (stupid) intentions, but I'd be pretty freaking pissed for a long time. The thing is, once this blows over, you'll have to get over it. Neither of you can have this hanging over you forever. So, do your investigations, try to stay calm, figure out if everything is on the level (get trading records--if friend is using a platform, which I'm sure he is, he should be able to at least provide basic records, and there is always forensic accounting. In fact, I'd contact friend immediately, and put DH out of it).

I second this. Entire investment banks have been almost taken down by individual currency traders. Anyone who doesn't know that currency trading is not for amateurs and/or people who don't have a LOT of money to lose should barely be trusted with an allowance, much less investing any real $$. Reputable investment advisors will only let "sophisticated" investors (you generally have to have at least $1 million or more in assets to invest) invest in professionally-managed funds that deal in commodities and currency. Even then, they make you sign all kinds of disclaimers suggesting in very strong terms that you are probably going to lose all your money instantaneously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you should find out if you have a legal cause of action against this guy. You may or may not, but if he did something fraudulent, for example, you may want to go after him. I'm a lawyer, but this is NOT my practice area, but just Googling the topic you'll see things like this:

http://www.stockmarketlosslawyer.com/the-process/causes-of-action/

I don't believe in being litigious for the hell of it, but if he misrepresented things or lied to you, that is not right.

'

This is good advice. Look into, get the records for the "loss" (really, do you know where the money went?) and talk to a lawyer.

As for your DH, I can understand. I, too, would be LIVID. (And I say that as someone whose HHI is $500k/yr.) It's about the money to a certain extent, but also about the loss of trust between you and DH. To me, that is a major breach.

I'm so sorry for you--Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you inherit it? Did he? Or was it a joint inheritance? If it was just his, I'd still be mad, but a little less so. He can legally do with is as he pleases. Including being stupid with it, unfortunately.

Yes, I agree with this. Was the money left to one of you explicitly?

This totally misses the point. It may be legally correct (I don't know for sure) but I'll tell you, if I inherited $100k, my wife would surely consider it family property, and rightfully so. If your stance on this is, "well your husband is LEGALLY entitled to do whatever he wants with a significant sum of money without consulting you," your understanding of what a marriage entails is dramatically different from mine. Maybe it works for you, but it's not something I would want.

OP, that really sucks, and I'd be pissed too. I second the suggestion to request detailed transaction records. The "friend" may be pulling a fast one on you.

I disagree that it boils down to legalilty. I mean, I appreciate and respect your opinion, but if some relative I didn't know gives my husband money, and my husband wants to blow it on something. I personally think he has the right (unless it means we can't buy groceries or pay the mortgage). Good old Aunt Gertrude I never knew didn't leave the money to me. She left it to him. That doesn't mean I wouldn't hope he wouldn't treat it as the family's money. It has nothing to do with the legality. It has to do with the intent of the person giving the money. Heck, my in-laws have my husband designated as a beneficiary of a few things - and in the case that he dies - they go to my BIL, not me. So its very clear that my husband's side of the family has the intention of giving HIM things, not his family.

Uh, no. Any money that comes in belongs to both of us. Whether it's DH's long lost Aunt Gertrude's inheritance, or my annual $100k bonus check that I worked for--it's OURS. Not mine, not his. And both are equally subject to our agreement on how we handle our finances.

Otherwise we could just run separate households.

[Anonymous]

currency trading is about one step away from nigerian scams.

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/apr/03/business/la-fi-amateur-currency-trading-20110403

[Anonymous]

This is going to sound mean, but you and DH both kind of sound dumb or naive - I'm sorry, but it's the truth. Anyone who doesn't have a healthy dose of skepticism and knee-jerk protectiveness when someone says they'll make the money double - no triple - no, multiply by a power of ten! - has to consider themselves just a lil' stupid. So I guess I disagree with the PP who said that smart people get taken for scams. Smart people do their research, maintain a healthy amount of skepticism, and don't make rash decisions with large sums of money all at once.

Consider it a learning experience. I'm sure you're as angry at yourself as DH for moving the money in the first place or not requiring both signatures before amounts could be withdrawn. You should both attend a class on finances at your local community college and read up on the topic too.

[Anonymous]

to 10:31 pp, I'm not sure why you're calling OP naive. She was deeply skeptical, which is why she told her husband not to invest with "friend." He did it anyway, without her knowledge!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made my feelings very clear, in no way did I agree to allow this friend access to our money or any access to invest it. I left no wiggle room. There was no lack of communication, no miscommunication. DH really felt like he was going to take this money and turn it into a million dollars (to our benefit, not to dupe me).

Under this description, you'd be absolutely pissed even if he had made $1 million (or even $10 million) on the investments, because he clearly promised you he would never allow the friend access to the money, and also promised you he would never invest even a dime of the money. Whether he lost money or not is irrelevant -- the issue is that he flat out lied to you. Right?

Yes. I told him I was not comfortable with this person doing anything with our money. Making money, losing money, touching the money... The friend was not to invest, trade, go near our money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound mean, but you and DH both kind of sound dumb or naive - I'm sorry, but it's the truth. Anyone who doesn't have a healthy dose of skepticism and knee-jerk protectiveness when someone says they'll make the money double - no triple - no, multiply by a power of ten! - has to consider themselves just a lil' stupid. So I guess I disagree with the PP who said that smart people get taken for scams. Smart people do their research, maintain a healthy amount of skepticism, and don't make rash decisions with large sums of money all at once.

Consider it a learning experience. I'm sure you're as angry at yourself as DH for moving the money in the first place or not requiring both signatures before amounts could be withdrawn. You should both attend a class on finances at your local community college and read up on the topic too.

I'm not naive. I fully knew that anyone telling you they'd make a million off of 100k was full of shit. Thus I told my husband we weren't going to use his friend to invest this cash. That doesn't make me naive, that makes me fully aware of what a joke the friend was. Did I mention the financial planner? Certificates of deposit? Investing for our children? Having saved a down payment for a new house? How do those things qualify me in need of a personal finance course at a local community college? I WAS skeptical. Not naive. I said NO because I am SMART and I KNEW it was a SCAM or something close to it.

[Anonymous]

This just doesn't pass the smell test, starting out with OP saying it was a small amount of cash and then saying it was $100K.

I've known plenty of rich people and most of them would view $100K as a significant amount of money. You don't get rich by disregarding sums like that.

And if OP is so rich that $100K really is a small amount of cash, why is she so upset?

I call fake.

[Anonymous]

OP,
You learned your lesson. YOU CANNOT TRUST YOUR OWN HUSBAND. Sorry but yes if you come into more money, make to sock away some of it in an individual, not a joint, account. It's not separate households. After this, it's preserving your assets. What a douche bag! I would walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made my feelings very clear, in no way did I agree to allow this friend access to our money or any access to invest it. I left no wiggle room. There was no lack of communication, no miscommunication. DH really felt like he was going to take this money and turn it into a million dollars (to our benefit, not to dupe me).

Under this description, you'd be absolutely pissed even if he had made $1 million (or even $10 million) on the investments, because he clearly promised you he would never allow the friend access to the money, and also promised you he would never invest even a dime of the money. Whether he lost money or not is irrelevant -- the issue is that he flat out lied to you. Right?

Oh come on. Op is only human. If her husband had gone behind her back and made a million I'm sure there would be room for forgiveness.

No, I'd still be upset he lied to me. A lie is a lie. He still was deceitful multiple times just trying to make a "better life" for his family. Whatevs, buddy.

[Anonymous]

P.S. 22:43 Right, if it's a small amount of cash then what's the big deal! I don't call fake, this poster is hopping mad. Understandably so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you inherit it? Did he? Or was it a joint inheritance? If it was just his, I'd still be mad, but a little less so. He can legally do with is as he pleases. Including being stupid with it, unfortunately.

Yes, I agree with this. Was the money left to one of you explicitly?

This totally misses the point. It may be legally correct (I don't know for sure) but I'll tell you, if I inherited $100k, my wife would surely consider it family property, and rightfully so. If your stance on this is, "well your husband is LEGALLY entitled to do whatever he wants with a significant sum of money without consulting you," your understanding of what a marriage entails is dramatically different from mine. Maybe it works for you, but it's not something I would want.

OP, that really sucks, and I'd be pissed too. I second the suggestion to request detailed transaction records. The "friend" may be pulling a fast one on you.

Well if you were divorcing and the money came from his family, it actually would not be considered joint property. Happened w/ my parents, which is why my ma now has no retirement.

Actually it depends on the state of residence and type of inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You described it as a "small amount of cash" so it can't have been important to your net worth. I guess your husband viewed it as a small amount also, play money, and didn't feel the need to think it through. However I can understand why you'd be upset. Try and forgive him - men are so amiable to their friends' suggestions.

However how is your husband reacting - has he apologized etc? Could get lots of massages out of this mistake.

I was posting on DCUM at 1am after crying for two hours. I was trying to condense what was going on and just vent. I wasn't trying to leave "holes" in my story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This just doesn't pass the smell test, starting out with OP saying it was a small amount of cash and then saying it was $100K.

I've known plenty of rich people and most of them would view $100K as a significant amount of money. You don't get rich by disregarding sums like that.

And if OP is so rich that $100K really is a small amount of cash, why is she so upset?

I call fake.

I am not rich by any standards. By "small amount of cash" I was meaning the inheritance was not in the millions, and it wasn't. Sheesh. I also posted in tears at 1am or so. Give me a break please, Detective.