Do you judge parents by their child's name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I know people who deliberately bought "less expensive" strollers. They felt far *more* judged than my friends who deliberately bought "more expensive" strollers. It certainly was an interesting social experiment in itself. THAT speaks volumes about the former. You all know how shallow people are here, you just don't care to admit it! Could this be you? Does it address an issue likely having nothing to do with a stroller?

As far as an innocent childs name, parents have their own reasons for choosing. Knowing how obviously very personal the choice is (as opposed to say, purchasing an object like a stroller). Could this be you? Does it address an issue likely having nothing to do with a name? I would never want to hang out with someone who would judge such a choice. You can deflect all you want, I think it is a miserable thing to do. I would not spend time with you, as life is too short.

It reminds me of mean girls or wanna bes - just looking for something to make fun of. These people will never be happy, because they do not know *how* to be happy. Hint: trying to mind others business will not make you happy. Are these people jealous of something that has nothing to do with the childs name? Wow, don't tell me you are jealous of an innocent child. How sad.

Live and let live, people. You will be much happier in your own miserable life if you try it. I know this is the judge-your-neighbor capitol of the world. But really, just try it.

Very well said. Yes, it is the mean-girl, wannabe mentality in grown women! It's just gross.

You judgmental anti-judgers are cracking me up!

stop judging. you're hurting my feelings.

[Anonymous]

It is so funny to me how many want the last word. I agree that the judgmental ones are the ones with the problem. You know who you are. Maybe you should look inward instead of trying so hard to be witty. We are laughing at you, not with you.

[Anonymous]

In a few years you won't even be using strollers. WTH cares!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do inwardly roll my eyes at some names. I am a Jennifer. I was one of a freaking dozen seemingly everywhere I went in my youth. Every school, dorm, extracurricular. Drove me up the wall. I was determined from my childhood that my kids would have unusual names, but not weirdo names. Little did I know that our whole culture would go into this unusal name frenzy.

Me too! My parents named me Lisa. They thought they were being original.

[Anonymous]

The reason why I think judging someone on their child's name is ridiculous is because what consititues a "good" name is so completely subjective and personal, that to have an opinion on another's decision implies that you are very intolerant of people who don't think and act just like you. Naming your child Sophia instead of Jane, or Carter instead of Michael doesn't indicate anything about the person except for their preference in a name for that child. Heck I meet plenty of people with "normal" names for one child and "trendy" names for another- so I don't think it can even be used to indicate a person's tendencies towards trendiness. A child's name is rarely indicative of some greater value or personality trait of the parent- especially since it is usually a compromise between the mom and dad (and therefore is frequently neither's first choice). So yes, "judging someone" based on their kids name just says to me that you have a difficult time imagining how other people could possibly think/want different things than you- and that, to me, is a type of person I have no respect for.

[Anonymous]

i named my son after my grandfather, which i knew i wanted to do for a very long. but, when it came down to it, my husband and i both agreed that we didn't really want to call out kid either the first or middle name or any of the traditional nicknames, so my son goes by the word his initials spell. it's really wacky and i usually feel compelled to explain myself when i introduce to him to someone new, mostly because i want to avoid some of the judgment--especially thoughts that i am a celebrity-wanna-be who sought out a wacky name like apple or bronx. he'll probably ask to be called something different once he knows better and that's fine by me. i'll still call him this nickname, but others can call him whatever he wants them to.

all that said, you'd think i wouldn't judge others, and i mostly don't, except for the strange spellings. it always makes me wonder whether the parents just didn't know how to spell the name or whether it was intentional.

as for strollers, i only get stroller envy of the nice strollers (stared for as long as a possible at a double bugaboo today...you'd think i'd just seen a nice looking man if you saw the stare and head turn that the stare required). otherwise, i don't give strollers much thought.

[Anonymous]

It is so funny to me how many want the last word. I agree that the judgmental ones are the ones with the problem. You know who you are. Maybe you should look inward instead of trying so hard to be witty. We are laughing at you, not with you.

Very mature an un-mean girlish of you. Do you always refer to yourself in the plural?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reason why I think judging someone on their child's name is ridiculous is because what consititues a "good" name is so completely subjective and personal, that to have an opinion on another's decision implies that you are very intolerant of people who don't think and act just like you. Naming your child Sophia instead of Jane, or Carter instead of Michael doesn't indicate anything about the person except for their preference in a name for that child. Heck I meet plenty of people with "normal" names for one child and "trendy" names for another- so I don't think it can even be used to indicate a person's tendencies towards trendiness. A child's name is rarely indicative of some greater value or personality trait of the parent- especially since it is usually a compromise between the mom and dad (and therefore is frequently neither's first choice). So yes, "judging someone" based on their kids name just says to me that you have a difficult time imagining how other people could possibly think/want different things than you- and that, to me, is a type of person I have no respect for.

Do you not get how you are doing exactly what you claim to abhor: judging someone (as "ridiculous") based on a difference from you (in having opinions about someone else's naming choice) and then acting on it (by withdrawing respect for them)?

The irony on this thread is killing me!

[Anonymous]

Who's more likely to go to a southern prep school: Porter or Ty'ree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason why I think judging someone on their child's name is ridiculous is because what consititues a "good" name is so completely subjective and personal, that to have an opinion on another's decision implies that you are very intolerant of people who don't think and act just like you. Naming your child Sophia instead of Jane, or Carter instead of Michael doesn't indicate anything about the person except for their preference in a name for that child. Heck I meet plenty of people with "normal" names for one child and "trendy" names for another- so I don't think it can even be used to indicate a person's tendencies towards trendiness. A child's name is rarely indicative of some greater value or personality trait of the parent- especially since it is usually a compromise between the mom and dad (and therefore is frequently neither's first choice). So yes, "judging someone" based on their kids name just says to me that you have a difficult time imagining how other people could possibly think/want different things than you- and that, to me, is a type of person I have no respect for.

Do you not get how you are doing exactly what you claim to abhor: judging someone (as "ridiculous") based on a difference from you (in having opinions about someone else's naming choice) and then acting on it (by withdrawing respect for them)?

The irony on this thread is killing me!

Your argument is very weak my dear. She not saying "Don't judge. Ever." The PP just doesn't like it when people judge people based on frivolous things such as strollers and names. I think she's aware that she's making a judgement. But it's her judgement. She's not claiming perfection. She's judging bitchy women. More power to her.

[Anonymous]

Who's the mean dad who keeps showing up?

[Anonymous]

There's nothing "frivolous" about a name. Like it or not, the name we carry does give an impression. Depending on a person's career choice, it can even make a difference in how a person's perceived in the job market. Some people may want to sound conservative, others more trendy, others more "hippy." But it DOES make an impression, one way or another. Parents should consider carefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OT from this thread, but maybe you ought to just cut the woman with the massive double stroller a break. Trust me, she doesn't want to be pushing anything that large down the narrow grocery aisle. But she has two kids who are stroller age, and she has to grocery shop. And chances are she hates having a massive stroller and having to drag two little ones shopping more than you hate seeing her. Such is life with babies/toddlers. And a little empathy from you would go a long way.

Signed,
mom of a 2 year old and 2 month old with a double stroller who is looking forward to the day when the older one can walk for an extended period of time without running away.
and who is cranky because she's had a very long day with both of them while her husband is away on business travel.

Totally agree. I have a double stroller (wide..side by side) because I have <<<gasp!>>> TWINS! Those who hate moms with double strollers should refrain from judging. Unless you've had twins (or children who are close in age), you have no idea how difficult it is to get around while dealing with the evil eyes you get at the store. Have some compassion people....oh wait, this is DCUM
. Never mind.

But why do you have to get a double wide instead of the ones where kids are lined up back to back (not sure what you call these)? I sympathize with needing to push two kids around but there are less obnoxious options than the double wide.

[Anonymous]

I met a baby Sophie this weekend. I told the mom that there were a few Sophie/Sophias in my son's pre-school class. She looked embarrassed.


sucks to be so unoriginal.

[Anonymous]

I don't think judgment is the right word, but it does shape my perception of them to some small degree. I think everything you do in life inevitably sends out a message about yourself. Sometimes the message and the reality match, other times they don't. If someone names their kids Leaf and Skye, doesn't wear makeup, wears hemp clothes, drives a beater Volvo and is vegetarian, I categorize them in a certain way. Doesn't mean I "judge" them in a negative way. And yes, naming your kid Prometheus would be a sign you walk to the beat of a different drummer, but if in all other ways you seem cookie-cutter, I'd view it as a small rebellion and a sign that you hope for something different for you kid.