Parents letting their little girls sleep over at my ex husband's house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you letting your kids sleep there?

She probably has a court ordered custody schedule.

Have you seriously never heard of divorce?

If he’s a predator like OP implies, surely she has court orders, restraining orders and full custody. OP is inferring that he is a monster and no kid is safe around him. Surely she has taken legal action to keep her daughters from harm.

Oh, wait…

With all due respect, there is a very high bar in the USA for these things, especially on the Commonwealth of Virginia side of the DMV. Very high.

UNLESS he is a known predator. But he’s not so why does this even come up every time.

Right but to be fair there is a huge gray area between "known predator" and "someone I don't want responsible for my kids."

As a child I was at a sleepover where the mom was out for the night with her affair partner and the dad was ranting around the house drunk. Neither were known predators but my parents would have been horrified (for some reason I never told them) and I wouldn't want that for my kids.

And in the case of OP, you could totally see how she could expect some of these things might happen and yet a court would say "he's fine to parent."

[Anonymous]

Hey it's me! Your kid! Only 30 years later!

My parents were divorced and had 50/50 custody when I was a kid. They both hosted sleepovers for my friends all the time, and it was really great!

You know what really sucked? The two kids I knew who were not allowed to sleepover at my houses (though they did sleepover at other people's houses) because one house had a Single Divorced Man and the other house had a Stepfather.

Neither my dad nor my stepdad would hurt a fly. They are both fabulous people.

It's super weird to me that you, their mom, WISH that your kids were being left out because you don't like their dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey it's me! Your kid! Only 30 years later!

My parents were divorced and had 50/50 custody when I was a kid. They both hosted sleepovers for my friends all the time, and it was really great!

You know what really sucked? The two kids I knew who were not allowed to sleepover at my houses (though they did sleepover at other people's houses) because one house had a Single Divorced Man and the other house had a Stepfather.

Neither my dad nor my stepdad would hurt a fly. They are both fabulous people.

It's super weird to me that you, their mom, WISH that your kids were being left out because you don't like their dad.

+1,000!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t let my girl sleep there simply because he’s a man, not because he’s divorced. 97% of sexual violence is committed by men. Not all men but always a man.

It’s factually true that women are more often abusive towards children than men. Not all women but usually a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real? Who lets their little kids sleep over in a house where there is only a single adult male?

All the cool moms here apparently. I'm sure they also have male nannies and would gladly put their kids in in all male daycare centers too. After all, if they aren't documented and convicted sex offenders, it's probably fine, right?

What does “cool” have to do with anything? Except for your own distorted world view of course.

Men are perfectly capable and safe caregivers. Don’t be a bigot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t let my girl sleep there simply because he’s a man, not because he’s divorced. 97% of sexual violence is committed by men. Not all men but always a man.

It’s factually true that women are more often abusive towards children than men. Not all women but usually a woman.

You'd have to control for the amount of time spent around children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are bonkers. Not them. Lots of good people of both genders get divorced.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t let my girl sleep there simply because he’s a man, not because he’s divorced. 97% of sexual violence is committed by men. Not all men but always a man.

It’s factually true that women are more often abusive towards children than men. Not all women but usually a woman.

You'd have to control for the amount of time spent around children.

Go ahead and do that then and show me your math.

[Anonymous]

Having an affair doesn't make him a pedo. It makes him have very questionable values, of course, but friends who met him after the divorce wouldn't know anything about that! Or that he got a DUI and hid his drinking.

You must drop the rope.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is friends with a young lady whose mother passed away; the father is doing a great job of organizing playdates, dropping her and showing up at her extra curriculars. Would you prevent her from enjoying her friends and sisterhood, because you think he’s a pedo? My daughter and her gal friends all sleep at each other’s houses; I encourage it because friendship is a two way street. And the single father needs all the help and trust he can earn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real? Who lets their little kids sleep over in a house where there is only a single adult male?

All the cool moms here apparently. I'm sure they also have male nannies and would gladly put their kids in in all male daycare centers too. After all, if they aren't documented and convicted sex offenders, it's probably fine, right?

I'd be thrilled if my son had a male preschool or elementary teacher as a role model.

My son had a male special Ed teacher in elementary school and he was incredible. He got him through elementary school.

The teacher graduated from Harvard and was so kind and sensitive. He was gay so some of the fear mongers here would probably have a problem with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the mom's have affairs and aren't good people.

My brother was a single dad to two little girls because his wife had an affair and left. It was so stressful for many reasons but including that people were super judgmental and also that it was hard to even do things like take them to the bathroom when he was out with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a former prosecutor it always chills me how easily some parents send their kids - especially girls - to sleep in a home with a man they barely know. Even teen boys can be predators, think of the girl raped and murdered by her own stepbrother.

Sleepovers at my house only.

A former prosecutor should be more thoughtful than to make comments suggesting that little girls are inherently more at risk for SA than boys. Or that boys are not abused by women. Or that predators do not always fit a stereotypical profile and that letting your guard down based on gender or marital status is not a great way to protect your kids.

In fact, I have to question if you were actually a prosecutor at all. If you were then I guess that explains the dismal state of our justice system these days.

You’re so full of bullcrap. I acknowledged boys are abused by saying especially girls, which also acknowledges the statistics on child sexual abuse which I know very well.

I’ve sat in dozens of rooms with little boys and little girls raped by creeps - like you? - and your pathetic insults hurled at me are so much feces that fell out of your stupid sickened pathetically ill-informed mind.

[Anonymous]

Most newly divorced dads I've known talk so negatively about their ex, the neighbors likely believe you have two heads and worship satan

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t let my girl sleep there simply because he’s a man, not because he’s divorced. 97% of sexual violence is committed by men. Not all men but always a man.

It’s factually true that women are more often abusive towards children than men. Not all women but usually a woman.

We’re talking sexual abuse and I provided the stats in a previous comment. Men commit nearly ALL sexual abuse. You are lying. There are no stats available anywhere to back up your lies.