Parents letting their little girls sleep over at my ex husband's house

[Anonymous]

You know who he is, you know whether he’s a pedo or not. You were married to him. Call the cops and tell the parents if he is. If he isn’t, MYOB.

[Anonymous]

If he’s a pedophile and you knew about it, aren’t you complicit? Are you some kind of Ghislane Maxwell? Are you unsafe and unhinged, too, OP? Sounds like.

(See how easy it is to make up lies and accusations, OP?)

[Anonymous]

Maybe they think YOU cheated for three years and got a DUI. Men are not inherently bad and dangerous.

[Anonymous]

As a former prosecutor it always chills me how easily some parents send their kids - especially girls - to sleep in a home with a man they barely know. Even teen boys can be predators, think of the girl raped and murdered by her own stepbrother.

Sleepovers at my house only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know who he is, you know whether he’s a pedo or not. You were married to him. Call the cops and tell the parents if he is. If he isn’t, MYOB.

Good God, no. Why would you suggest that this obviously nutty person start reporting people for serious crimes based on her gut feelings and overblown feelings of personal hostility? Accusations like this ruin lives and her own kids would be caught up in the deal as well. Totally reckless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a former prosecutor it always chills me how easily some parents send their kids - especially girls - to sleep in a home with a man they barely know. Even teen boys can be predators, think of the girl raped and murdered by her own stepbrother.

Sleepovers at my house only.

A former prosecutor should be more thoughtful than to make comments suggesting that little girls are inherently more at risk for SA than boys. Or that boys are not abused by women. Or that predators do not always fit a stereotypical profile and that letting your guard down based on gender or marital status is not a great way to protect your kids.

In fact, I have to question if you were actually a prosecutor at all. If you were then I guess that explains the dismal state of our justice system these days.

[Anonymous]

You know he’s an alcoholic pedo why don’t you call the cops

[Anonymous]

I dont let my kids sleep at anyone's house but I wouldn't automatically assume a divorced dad is any worse than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The divorced dads I know are no better or worse people than the divorced moms, and I don't keep my kids away from either.

+1. My DH wouldn't okay a sleepover at a house with only an adult man for supervision, but not because he's divorced.

[Anonymous]

Not being a good husband is separate from whether he can be a safe supervising adult around kids.

Not being a safe driver is separate from whether he can safely supervise kids at home (if I knew someone got a fairly recent DUI and didn't know for sure they'd done rehab no way would I consider them driving my kids).

If, based on his behavior that you know about and the neighbors don't, you genuinely strongly suspect his drinking makes it unsafe for him to supervise children, you should consider saying something, once, to the parents.

If, based on his behavior that you know about first hand and other people don't, you truly suspect he is or will become a child molester..... you likely need to contact law enforcement and/or cps.

Only you know how genuine and well-founded your concerns are. Act accordingly. Be the sort of adult kids in danger need (if applicable) or be the sort of civil co-parent you would want your ex to be to you (if appropriate).

[Anonymous]

I would not allow my kids (boy or girl) to sleep over at the home of any male without a wife also being present, and I’m not sorry about that at all. We allow very few sleepovers in general.

IMHO: a single man inviting young girls of that age to sleep over shows really poor judgment in the first place. Most men would never even consider it. My DH has taken our DD and her friends to the movies, sports games and other public places etc alone- but he’d never want to host young kids overnight if I was not here.

I’m sure he isn’t going to announce all of his shortcomings and personal history to new neighbors or friends. In fairness, why would anyone?

As for the families avoiding you: he may be rewriting history and talking sh!t about you…OR he may have said little at all and they just feel generally awkward (being friendly with him, and knowing you are his ex)

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a sick perv

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The divorced dads I know are no better or worse people than the divorced moms, and I don't keep my kids away from either.

+1. My DH wouldn't okay a sleepover at a house with only an adult man for supervision, but not because he's divorced.

Even Anderson Cooper? How about Pete Buttigieg?

[Anonymous]

You crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not allow my kids (boy or girl) to sleep over at the home of any male without a wife also being present, and I’m not sorry about that at all. We allow very few sleepovers in general.

IMHO: a single man inviting young girls of that age to sleep over shows really poor judgment in the first place. Most men would never even consider it. My DH has taken our DD and her friends to the movies, sports games and other public places etc alone- but he’d never want to host young kids overnight if I was not here.

I’m sure he isn’t going to announce all of his shortcomings and personal history to new neighbors or friends. In fairness, why would anyone?

As for the families avoiding you: he may be rewriting history and talking sh!t about you…OR he may have said little at all and they just feel generally awkward (being friendly with him, and knowing you are his ex)

Okay but married men and divorced men are in very different situations, because married men can defer to their wives and when they are there. I don’t think it’s weird for divorced men to try to provide their daughters with the same social opportunities they might have had if their mother were around. Families can decide what they’re comfortable with. I do think that 6/7 is on the young side for a sleepover though, no matter who is supervising.