Parents letting their little girls sleep over at my ex husband's house

[Anonymous]

Is this for real? Who lets their little kids sleep over in a house where there is only a single adult male?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real? Who lets their little kids sleep over in a house where there is only a single adult male?

People?

I grew up without a mother and still had sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ex and I have two daughters ages 6 and 7.

We live in the same neighborhood and generally share the neighborhood friends so our kids have playdates with the local crew regardless of which house they're at. However, there are 2 families that live on his specific block, one with a 9yo girl and one with a 10yo girl. I havent met either family but the kids all play outside together when the girls are at their dad's. These 2 families avoid me at school functions so I'm not quite sure what the deal is there.

Friday night my ex texted me pics of my girls and the 2 older girls from the block having a sleepover at his house. I was...shocked. I actually assumed it would be hard for him to even have playdates at his house as a solo dad with only daughters, but the fact that two families let their little girls sleep there is bonkers to me.

Dont they presume he's a not so good person if his wife left him while we had little kids? Fwiw, he had a 3 year long affair, hid drinking, got a very severe DUI that was on trial for a year, those things resulted in job loss and he was unemployed for the last year. So, not exactly an upstanding citizen and someone I worry about having to coparent with.

Am I crazy? Are they crazy?

You are a jealous angry embittered shrew and it's easy to see why people avoid you and why you are divorced..
You are deliberately doing your damned to destroy your ex and I hope he reads this and consults an attorney on how to shut you up.

Also, most of us don't think every man is a pedophile.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t let my girl sleep there simply because he’s a man, not because he’s divorced. 97% of sexual violence is committed by men. Not all men but always a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where people are getting pedo predator from the OP. XH doesn't sound like a prize, but an alcoholic affair-haver doesn't automatically equal pedo groomer predator.

The alcoholism/DUI would suggest he's likely not a good supervisor of children if he's solo parenting. That would likely be enough for me to nix a sleepover.

But PPs seem to be making some major leaps. It's enough for a guy to "just" be a crappy husband/human.

I think when OP highlights the fact that it's "little girls" sleeping over, it implies a gender based concern. There is a couple other references in her post which highlight the gender issue ("I actually assumed it would be hard for him to even have playdates at his house as a solo dad with only daughters"), which is why people assumed she was talking about him as a possible predator.

I agree that the DUI is a legitimate concern, but 1) that's not gendered which the post definitely is and 2) no one but her knows about that. She thinks being a divorced man (emphasis on the man) is enough of a red flag to mean you wouldn't send your "little girls" (emphasis on the girls) to sleepover there. The implication is that there's something of a sexual nature that should be concerning them.

Yes, and there's a lack of consistency with OP viewing her husband as dangerous but being willing to have him alone with her kids. Yes, it can be difficult to gain sole custody, but in her case you'd think she'd try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you letting your kids sleep there?

She probably has a court ordered custody schedule.

Have you seriously never heard of divorce?

If he’s a predator like OP implies, surely she has court orders, restraining orders and full custody. OP is inferring that he is a monster and no kid is safe around him. Surely she has taken legal action to keep her daughters from harm.

Oh, wait…

With all due respect, there is a very high bar in the USA for these things, especially on the Commonwealth of Virginia side of the DMV. Very high.

UNLESS he is a known predator. But he’s not so why does this even come up every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real? Who lets their little kids sleep over in a house where there is only a single adult male?

All the cool moms here apparently. I'm sure they also have male nannies and would gladly put their kids in in all male daycare centers too. After all, if they aren't documented and convicted sex offenders, it's probably fine, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real? Who lets their little kids sleep over in a house where there is only a single adult male?

People?

I grew up without a mother and still had sleepovers.

My best friend in elementary school didn't have a mother (alive) and I spent the night at her house all the time. Her father was a really nice man--my parents liked him a lot. He was always very kind and appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real? Who lets their little kids sleep over in a house where there is only a single adult male?

All the cool moms here apparently. I'm sure they also have male nannies and would gladly put their kids in in all male daycare centers too. After all, if they aren't documented and convicted sex offenders, it's probably fine, right?

Not everyone is a raging misandrist like you. Why did you even procreate with a man since you seem to dislike them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real? Who lets their little kids sleep over in a house where there is only a single adult male?

All the cool moms here apparently. I'm sure they also have male nannies and would gladly put their kids in in all male daycare centers too. After all, if they aren't documented and convicted sex offenders, it's probably fine, right?

Not everyone is a raging misandrist like you. Why did you even procreate with a man since you seem to dislike them?

shes a disgusting pig. nobody would procreate with her.

[Anonymous]

I love that you guys think it's just 1 or 2 people with this crazy opinion!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love that you guys think it's just 1 or 2 people with this crazy opinion!

As a father I'm fully aware that there are more than a few parents who will treat me as a criminal based purely on my sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real? Who lets their little kids sleep over in a house where there is only a single adult male?

All the cool moms here apparently. I'm sure they also have male nannies and would gladly put their kids in in all male daycare centers too. After all, if they aren't documented and convicted sex offenders, it's probably fine, right?

I'd be thrilled if my son had a male preschool or elementary teacher as a role model.

[Anonymous]

Exactly! My mom died, and I can't have sleepovers either? WTF.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real? Who lets their little kids sleep over in a house where there is only a single adult male?

People?

I grew up without a mother and still had sleepovers.

My best friend in elementary school didn't have a mother (alive) and I spent the night at her house all the time. Her father was a really nice man--my parents liked him a lot. He was always very kind and appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As usual the “there’s a pedo around every corner” posters are horrified. And the poster who claimed to be a former prosecutor doesn’t know that boys are molested by religious leaders, sports coaches, Boy Scouts, their own family members. It’s not common but neither is molesting girls outside of family members and trusted people.

My daughter had a best friend in 5th grade. Sadly she moved after one year but her single father was the best. I really liked him, he was so easy to get along with. We would take turns taking the girls out to movies, parks, carnivals, they played basketball together. And my daughter slept over their house.

The mother on the other hand wasn’t very nice. The first time I met her she went on and on about how horrible he was. He never said a word about her.

That is a wonderful story. Also, you never know what you might learn years from now about anyone you've trusted.