Do you think parents who volunteer and donate more to schools deserve better treatment for their child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

[Anonymous]

Why are people so determined to get their kids into class with certain teachers? I've always taken the position that it's good for my kids to get a variety of teacher experiences in elementary because then they learn how to function within different learning environments.

Also what makes a teacher "popular" among kids and parents can sometimes be highly questionable. There is a teacher at our school who is really beloved by the students, way more than other teachers are. My kid did in fact wind up in this teacher's class. My impression is that this teacher is popular because they form friendships with the kids and often tell them what they want to hear. They are not a bad teacher, but sometimes I felt they worked too hard to curry favor with students (and perhaps enjoyed their role as Most Popular Teacher a bit more than was healthy). It was not my favorite student-teacher dynamic, frankly. But also it was fine and probably good to have that experience too. Again, diversity of experience has real benefits for kids because it's just exposure to different sorts of people. Assuming none of the teachers are terrible, allowing your kid to experience a broad range of teaching styles is a positive.

So maybe cool it on the teacher requests. The school likely will make an effort to put your kids in a classroom that makes sense in terms of their learning style, relationships with other students, etc. Maybe try letting the chips fall where they may and then helping your kid adjust to their teacher's style, instead of trying to optimize the situation to accommodate them. This might benefit your kid more in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Gross. No. Not everyone has the means financially or timewise, which is often a financially driven choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quickly want to say the people thinking chaperoning field trips are for the laidback parents who aren't into the PTA scene blows my mind. I've seen those parents do it so they can be seen by the teacher as being involved and hands-on and they spend half the time chit chatting with the teacher about their kid.

SAHM PTA mom here. Being available and willing to chaperone field-trips allowed me to help maximize the learning and enjoyment for my kids.

The teachers were nice but also not very 'teacher-like', so I was not spending my time chit-chatting with them. There was no value of these field-trips because teachers did not tie it with any learning in the classroom. So, I basically researched with my kids before the trip and created guides and workbooks for them. Of course, then all other kids with me also benefited. But, primarily I went to make sure that my kids were not wasting their time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

sure bro

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are people so determined to get their kids into class with certain teachers? I've always taken the position that it's good for my kids to get a variety of teacher experiences in elementary because then they learn how to function within different learning environments.

Also what makes a teacher "popular" among kids and parents can sometimes be highly questionable. There is a teacher at our school who is really beloved by the students, way more than other teachers are. My kid did in fact wind up in this teacher's class. My impression is that this teacher is popular because they form friendships with the kids and often tell them what they want to hear. They are not a bad teacher, but sometimes I felt they worked too hard to curry favor with students (and perhaps enjoyed their role as Most Popular Teacher a bit more than was healthy). It was not my favorite student-teacher dynamic, frankly. But also it was fine and probably good to have that experience too. Again, diversity of experience has real benefits for kids because it's just exposure to different sorts of people. Assuming none of the teachers are terrible, allowing your kid to experience a broad range of teaching styles is a positive.

So maybe cool it on the teacher requests. The school likely will make an effort to put your kids in a classroom that makes sense in terms of their learning style, relationships with other students, etc. Maybe try letting the chips fall where they may and then helping your kid adjust to their teacher's style, instead of trying to optimize the situation to accommodate them. This might benefit your kid more in the long run.

No need to worry about what others are doing. My kid got the "good" teacher one year and boy was she a foul witch to me. Accused me of lying when she was just out to get my kid for unknown reasons. I documented all the crazy emails she sent to me and said under no circumstances would my next kid be in her classroom at my meeting with the principal. You would sing a different tune if you had a bad teacher who took out her dislike of you the parent on an innocent 7 yr old in her class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

sure bro

Oh look... the minimum wage mom who has to work in a toxic place and who had kids with a loser...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

sure bro

Oh look... the minimum wage mom who has to work in a toxic place and who had kids with a loser...

Bro, what do you really know about another family’s resources? And why are you pushing a whole narrative about it on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

For what it's worth- I'm the poster discussing being the backstage mom at drama club (and for 3 years running I have volunteered backstage during the performance because no one else wants to, I'm good at it, and I don't mind giving back in this way because it's something that really really needs to be done. I get a chance to see my kid(s) from the wings during their (always quite small) parts and I'm ok with that. I am also fully aware that the reason I did well in HS and college and have a flex part time job that still pays 6 figures, and a nice husband who makes more than me, is because I was born into a family that had that same situation and they paid for my entire education and gave me a down payment on my house. I am not the one blaming people for not having time and money. If I were giving BJs behind the bleachers in HS I'd probably still be doing fine because my parents were rich. So no, the moms who can't volunteer because they are stuck at work for 14 hours a day cleaning houses are not lazier or worse than me, and I'd be happy to burn them a copy of my free performance DVD if I asked. The moms who are in the same situation as I am, but who don't want to help out backstage because they want to watch their kid from front and center, and then have the balls to get annoyed that the front and center rows already have my jacket draped across them to reserve them for my husband and parents since I got here 3 hours before the show started to start helping set up the stage- they can move along.

[Anonymous]

^^^ROW, in fact only like 4 seats, not ROWS, sorry. I don't actually save multiple rows of 20 seats for my own family. That would be taking it a step too far!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

For what it's worth- I'm the poster discussing being the backstage mom at drama club (and for 3 years running I have volunteered backstage during the performance because no one else wants to, I'm good at it, and I don't mind giving back in this way because it's something that really really needs to be done. I get a chance to see my kid(s) from the wings during their (always quite small) parts and I'm ok with that. I am also fully aware that the reason I did well in HS and college and have a flex part time job that still pays 6 figures, and a nice husband who makes more than me, is because I was born into a family that had that same situation and they paid for my entire education and gave me a down payment on my house. I am not the one blaming people for not having time and money. If I were giving BJs behind the bleachers in HS I'd probably still be doing fine because my parents were rich. So no, the moms who can't volunteer because they are stuck at work for 14 hours a day cleaning houses are not lazier or worse than me, and I'd be happy to burn them a copy of my free performance DVD if I asked. The moms who are in the same situation as I am, but who don't want to help out backstage because they want to watch their kid from front and center, and then have the balls to get annoyed that the front and center rows already have my jacket draped across them to reserve them for my husband and parents since I got here 3 hours before the show started to start helping set up the stage- they can move along.

But if those moms can make it, they should watch from the back because your husband and parents — who are not volunteers—deserve better seats than they do. How gracious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ROW, in fact only like 4 seats, not ROWS, sorry. I don't actually save multiple rows of 20 seats for my own family. That would be taking it a step too far!!!!

Four seats for one volunteer is pretty greedy as it is. One seat for your spouse during one show so your kid would have their parent there is maybe reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

And, now PP, you’re grasping for straws.

In theory, it would be nice if everyone in school paid a fee in the to cover all student expenses volunteer efforts and donations provide for …. And some schools do that. Or hell, make it a co-op and have a volunteer hours requirement for every family. Then, anything above and beyond is icing. Idk if that would ever work in public schools but I wouldn’t mind it in our extracurriculars where there is heavy parent influence on decision-makers and many kids go unseen for years.