Do you think parents who volunteer and donate more to schools deserve better treatment for their child?

[Anonymous]

Not asking if this happens or not, though feel free to weigh in on whether this is true at your school.

But do you think it should happen? Do you think parents should essentially be compensated for higher volunteer or donation levels with preferential treatment for kids?

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Of course not!

[Anonymous]

Of course

[Anonymous]

It’s a pretty blurred line, slippery slope… I don’t think they should get preferential treatment. But I did volunteer a lot, which put me in the front office a lot, and face time in passing with lots of teachers and students. It gave me an advantage in that I had a better sense of which teachers cared, which students needed remedial help, which students were goofs whom I’d rather not have my child grouped with. Did the school say “Oh thanks so much for volunteering and donating generously. Please take first pick of teachers and tell us of any friend group issues!”? No. But I was able to have conversations which naturally happened over time and over being around the school a lot.

[Anonymous]

I think all parents should have their concerns heard equally, regardless of whether they volunteer or donate.

One of the things that people confuse from the outside is that parents who volunteer often care more about specific things going on at the school. And their opinions get heard because they are there, giving them.

In general, if you don't speak up in the American culture, people assume you are satisfied with the status quo. This applies to elementary school management.

So do not hesitate to speak up. You can even go to PTA meetings without joining. And school board meetings are open too.

[Anonymous]

It shouldn’t matter but it absolutely does.

[Anonymous]

it does in the roaring 20s

[Anonymous]

I used to be able to volunteer at decent amount, have never been able to donate substantially, and I think it's absolutely more like what 12:43 AND 12:41 said. It's not a conscious choice per se (well for some administrations with big donors it may well be, ha). It's more of a natural thing that flows out of being around and being known.

That said I have absolutely also seen volunteers and donors kids get bad teachers. And get discipline up to and including expulsion. But somehow I have never seen them get dress coded.

[Anonymous]

If the kids are doing what they are supposed to do then generally there is no special treatment happening. It’s when a kid is a “problem” that the preferential treatment comes out.
Like, there was a family who never did anything for the school. They had three kids, two normal and one a handful. The principal counseled that handful kid out right after kindergarten and the whole family left. She had no interest in making that family happy.
Another kid did something awful but his parents were super involved. The principal is bending over backwards to find out why that kid is acting out and working with the family, having the kid work with mental health professionals, meanwhile teachers are ready to quit over this rude disrespectful kid.

[Anonymous]

I would say definitely no, but I also don't really know what preferential treatment looks like.

[Anonymous]

I don't expect better treatment but better not treat my kids worse. Treat all the kids the same, no favorites.

[Anonymous]

I think the kids whose parents teach them manners, social skills, self awareness, kindness, and respect for authority deserve special treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the kids whose parents teach them manners, social skills, self awareness, kindness, and respect for authority deserve special treatment.

Good luck with that. You would probably be heavily biased to do that in a way that seemed fair to anyone.

[Anonymous]

As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.