Do you think parents who volunteer and donate more to schools deserve better treatment for their child?
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Anonymous
If you are around the school, the teachers tell you how things get done. I never used this info for my benefit but one teacher told me how parents can try to get their kid into a certain teacher's room without asking for a specific teacher. Nobody is allowed to ask for a specific teacher. Would you like to know the secret? It's pretty logical. She said you tell your child's current teacher what qualities your kid needs in a teacher to do well in the following year. And then you describe the qualities of the teacher you want. The current year teacher has some input into the beginning of the class shaping for the following year. So you say "Janie needs a teacher with a quiet voice." Or "Janie needs a teacher who gives out more math homework". And maybe if stars align your kid gets a better chance if getting into a particular room. There you go. That's the hot tip I earned for 13 years of PTA participation and volunteering. I also, during a PTA meeting, heard a parent asking questions about accelerated classes/IEPs for students with beyond grade level skills that went right over my head. I remembered the question but did not understand until my kids got to high school. If I'd understood, I might have figured out how to get my kids bumped up a year in math classes. Because my district doesn't have any "gifted" programs, I didn't realize that accelerated options were possible. Turns out they were, but your testing needed to show you were 2 grade levels ahead in ability. I easily could have had my kids tutored to that standard. So that's an example of something that might have benefited me that I heard about at a PTA meeting that was open to anyone. The return on time invested is pretty poor if you're just looking for an advantage for your kids. But no surprise that people who are paying attention occasionally learn useful things. Also...this is a very important point...this knowledge is available to anyone who asks. Schools have limited resources and nobody wants more headaches so this stuff isn't always going to be widely publicized. But it's not a classist conspiracy. Just ask. Speak up. Participate. Request. You may learn something useful and/or get something you want. That's basic civics. |
Anonymous
OP - haters gonna hate |
Anonymous
| No |
Anonymous
It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked. |
Anonymous
It sounds like you’re being snarky and presenting this like PP benefited from some kind of insider transaction: volunteer a bit, hand the AAP process over to teachers, and boom -- your kid gets a boost. Guess what? You haven’t cracked the code. Your DC either didn’t qualify, or you dropped the ball as there are multiple publicly communicated avenues to access AAP resources if student is eligible. You seem super competitive so maybe you're just mad. AAP placement isn’t a reward for being visible, and it’s not influenced by who shows up to staple packets. There’s no secret lane, no back‑channel, no “chosen” parent cohort quietly steering outcomes. What you’re alluding to isn’t how the system works. It’s how you’ve chosen to interpret your own experience -- and it’s a pretty pathetic lens to apply to an entire public school process. |
Anonymous
That is 100% true! |
Anonymous
Either I know you, our kids went to the same public ES and one teacher tells all her volunteer parents that, or this is a common pro tip. Because I definitely learned that tip along the way too. |
Anonymous
| Same! This all sounds so familiar 😂. At our school, our principal widely shared this advice with parents, like in K, so it was not a state secret. This year, our school had a great idea to put out a form where you can share input and info about your kid for next year’s placement. If you read your school’s communications it’s in there w lots of other good info. 😊 |
Anonymous
| I was a teacher for a long time. Did I ever intentionally give a student preferential treatment because their parents were super involved in the school? Of course not. But did I naturally come to know more about a student's family life, interests, and other factors due to lots of face time with the parent? Yes. Did that parent also naturally know more about happenings around school, including admin decisions, faculty personality and reputation, and so on? Also yes. I think there's also the human factor that we can't escape from. |
Anonymous
| Quickly want to say the people thinking chaperoning field trips are for the laidback parents who aren't into the PTA scene blows my mind. I've seen those parents do it so they can be seen by the teacher as being involved and hands-on and they spend half the time chit chatting with the teacher about their kid. |
Anonymous
She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already. |
Anonymous
It’s interesting — I know families who stay hands‑off at school but are heavily involved in their kids’ extracurriculars. Using your framework, you could say those kids benefit from “insider” access there and receive better opportunities, recognition and privileges. Ultimately, everyone allocates their time differently. What works for one household won’t be the same for another and not volunteering at all is AOK too. And honestly, the way you’re framing this makes it sound like there’s a specific agenda here and that this feels personal. I hope you’re able to get some perspective. |
Anonymous
Ok so back to the airline flight analogy. Someone planned ahead, bought tickets months in advance for an easy direct morning flight, flight was overbooked, they agreed to fly out at midnight instead, and took the 500 dollar flight credit. A second person didn’t try to book their ticket until 24hr ahead of time because they didn’t have the money, let’s say. Not their fault. The morning flight wasn’t even an option when they booked, so, they ended up on the crappy midnight flight because that was what was left. Should they also get a 500 dollar flight credit? They’re stuck on the same crappy midnight flight instead of the convenient morning flight. No. Because they didn’t volunteer to give up their seat for someone else, to help out the airline. The reward isn’t to compensate for having a crappy flight it’s to encourage people to volunteer to do something to help things run smoothly when they don’t have to. |
Anonymous
PP here. Where did I describe an "exclusive" set up. I was just noting that I volunteer a fair bit and do not really feel more seen than other parents, nor do I feel anyone on the administration or teaching staff is offering me preferential treatment due to my volunteering. Which is fine, as that is not why I do it. I prefer the low-profile volunteering roles I sign up for because I am in fact more reserved and happy to fly under the radar. I'm not looking for a cozy relationship with administration, I have other things on my plate. I was just responding to the suggestion that if you volunteer a lot, you will become more visible at the school and naturally kind of get preferential treatment. That might be true for more prominent volunteer roles, but IME is not true for the lower level, quieter stuff. I didn't say that was a problem, just an observation. |
Anonymous
| No. I regularly volunteer and donate. I don’t expect preferential treatment. I just like to help out and get to know staff and students. |