AITA? Grandparent gifting edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the relationship you have with your MIL. We have done similar - suggested a contribution to an activity in lieu of a physical gift, just because my kids have enough stuff! My MIL has never been offended or felt that it was tacky at all. But generally, my husband talks to his mom about gift ideas for our kids (after talking to me first because he is bad at coming up with gift ideas, lol). Maybe your MIL would have reacted differently if it had been her son making the suggestion?

Most definitely, but often she goes directly to me so I really didn't think it a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Someone is choosing to think it's tacky, and choosing to think the worst of someone. Op, this is not about a specific circumstance. With this mindfield you *really* need to have your DH always bee the point person.

And btw, if HE is sharing with you unkind words this Mother said, HE is not doing you any favors. He is being almost as unkind.

He handles this himself. And the right thing for him to do is say, "Mom I don't want to hear it (whatever criticism of you I is)

[Anonymous]

Well, OP, part of the lesson is not to get involved because you had other things on your mind and your plate. Clearly you are now too busy to make a decision that will please her, so every gift idea request and every logistical question goes straight to DH.

His mom, his problem. If your best effort caused her to get in a snit, all efforts of the sort may cease.

DH and MIL can both now enjoy!

[Anonymous]

OP has already made a reasonable choice to apologize and not blow this up. This doesn't have to be a big deal.