Reasonable to Ask 19YO to Cover Childcare for 5 Days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If something goes wrong this could quickly be a CPS issue OP. Say 9 year old has to go to the ER for stiches and now you have a 15 year old caring for 4 kids overnight.

This. If literally anything happens for which the police are called (several other posters already mentioned drinking and parties) you may very well find yourself without custody of the four-year-old. I don’t see how this could possibly be worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If something goes wrong this could quickly be a CPS issue OP. Say 9 year old has to go to the ER for stiches and now you have a 15 year old caring for 4 kids overnight.

This. If literally anything happens for which the police are called (several other posters already mentioned drinking and parties) you may very well find yourself without custody of the four-year-old. I don’t see how this could possibly be worth it.

That is a very weird assumption.

[Anonymous]

My 19 year old is currently on her spring break in Ireland with her friends. I have 5 other kids and I would NEVER ask her to care for them while I go out of town. Not because she's incapable but because that is not her role in life. She's supposed to be out living life, being selfish and experiencing what she can before she's bogged down by marriage and children. Find another solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If something goes wrong this could quickly be a CPS issue OP. Say 9 year old has to go to the ER for stiches and now you have a 15 year old caring for 4 kids overnight.

This. If literally anything happens for which the police are called (several other posters already mentioned drinking and parties) you may very well find yourself without custody of the four-year-old. I don’t see how this could possibly be worth it.

That is a very weird assumption.

This is a very very weird idea the OP has.

[Anonymous]

OP: We’re expecting, and this is our last chance for a trip before things get busy for a while. We already did a family vacation over Winter Break, but not every trip has to include the kids. We believe in making time for ourselves as a couple, especially before the baby arrives. We’ve always done family vacations, and we plan to keep doing them, but we also value the opportunity to recharge together. This is just one of those trips where we’re taking a breather.

In our family, it’s completely normal for grandparents to step in for a few days, even with little notice. It happens regularly, and everyone is comfortable with it. My parents and in-laws have helped us out many times before, and there’s no issue with it now. We’ve set clear expectations with everyone involved, and everyone’s on the same page, so there’s no concern about that.


We’re confident our teens can handle everything while we’re away. They’ve been hel They’re not partiers, and are good kids. Our younger kids are well-behaved and know how to follow the rules. The teens can handle meals, chores, and bedtime without issues. They’ve got this.

We’re not worried about meals either. The two oldest can cook, and the younger kids aren’t picky. We’ve planned meals in advance, so it won’t be a big deal. The older kids know what to do, and there’s no drama over food preferences. And there won’t be any need for grocery shopping or other logistical tasks that might add stress to the situation.

I could if my daughter really wanted extra help, ask a close friend, to check in from time to time, but 24/7.

[Anonymous]

So what’s your question here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: We’re expecting, and this is our last chance for a trip before things get busy for a while. We already did a family vacation over Winter Break, but not every trip has to include the kids. We believe in making time for ourselves as a couple, especially before the baby arrives. We’ve always done family vacations, and we plan to keep doing them, but we also value the opportunity to recharge together. This is just one of those trips where we’re taking a breather.

In our family, it’s completely normal for grandparents to step in for a few days, even with little notice. It happens regularly, and everyone is comfortable with it. My parents and in-laws have helped us out many times before, and there’s no issue with it now. We’ve set clear expectations with everyone involved, and everyone’s on the same page, so there’s no concern about that.


We’re confident our teens can handle everything while we’re away. They’ve been hel They’re not partiers, and are good kids. Our younger kids are well-behaved and know how to follow the rules. The teens can handle meals, chores, and bedtime without issues. They’ve got this.

We’re not worried about meals either. The two oldest can cook, and the younger kids aren’t picky. We’ve planned meals in advance, so it won’t be a big deal. The older kids know what to do, and there’s no drama over food preferences. And there won’t be any need for grocery shopping or other logistical tasks that might add stress to the situation.

I could if my daughter really wanted extra help, ask a close friend, to check in from time to time, but 24/7.

You need to hire someone to come in every day to give her help and support. That’s way too much to put on a teenager. You are turning her into a mini mom and it’s not fair to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: We originally planned this assuming my MIL would stay with the kids, since our nanny is unavailable that week. We asked too late, and she already had plans with other family. She kindly offered to rearrange and babysit, but we said no — we didn’t want her to miss time with her other grandchildren.

This is a short, adults-only trip to the Maldives — not a family trip. Our daughter’s break is longer than a week, and she already has a trip with friends planned, so this wouldn’t be her entire break.

We already plan for the younger kids (ages 4–9) to be in full-day camps, and there will be playdates. Responsibilities will be divided among the teens, who genuinely look up to their older sister and are responsible and trustworthy. She will be paid $4k-6k?, not 100% sure yet, for the five days , and we prefer not to hire another babysitter, as we don’t trust anyone else as much as our nanny.

MIL isn’t available and my parents are traveling. This arrangement only happens with her full agreement. Backup adults are available nearby (SILs, siblings) if needed.

We understand this wouldn’t work for every family, but we’re trying to plan it thoughtfully and respectfully, so thanks for the tips on making sure this goes smoothly.

How can you get to the Maldives and come back in a five day period- and still have time enjoy the Maldives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what’s your question here?

Things we should consider. PP at 16:05, for example is very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Your 19 year old did not choose to have 6 kids or siblings to take care of. That was your choice so you need to manage it without making the oldest a defacto parent for overnights. Emergencies happen so I could see needing them to step up for a night or two but not for a vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: We originally planned this assuming my MIL would stay with the kids, since our nanny is unavailable that week. We asked too late, and she already had plans with other family. She kindly offered to rearrange and babysit, but we said no — we didn’t want her to miss time with her other grandchildren.

This is a short, adults-only trip to the Maldives — not a family trip. Our daughter’s break is longer than a week, and she already has a trip with friends planned, so this wouldn’t be her entire break.

We already plan for the younger kids (ages 4–9) to be in full-day camps, and there will be playdates. Responsibilities will be divided among the teens, who genuinely look up to their older sister and are responsible and trustworthy. She will be paid $4k-6k?, not 100% sure yet, for the five days , and we prefer not to hire another babysitter, as we don’t trust anyone else as much as our nanny.

MIL isn’t available and my parents are traveling. This arrangement only happens with her full agreement. Backup adults are available nearby (SILs, siblings) if needed.

We understand this wouldn’t work for every family, but we’re trying to plan it thoughtfully and respectfully, so thanks for the tips on making sure this goes smoothly.

How can you get to the Maldives and come back in a five day period- and still have time enjoy the Maldives?

It’s enough time for us. We’ve been before and don’t really need a super long vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: We’re expecting, and this is our last chance for a trip before things get busy for a while. We already did a family vacation over Winter Break, but not every trip has to include the kids. We believe in making time for ourselves as a couple, especially before the baby arrives. We’ve always done family vacations, and we plan to keep doing them, but we also value the opportunity to recharge together. This is just one of those trips where we’re taking a breather.

In our family, it’s completely normal for grandparents to step in for a few days, even with little notice. It happens regularly, and everyone is comfortable with it. My parents and in-laws have helped us out many times before, and there’s no issue with it now. We’ve set clear expectations with everyone involved, and everyone’s on the same page, so there’s no concern about that.


We’re confident our teens can handle everything while we’re away. They’ve been hel They’re not partiers, and are good kids. Our younger kids are well-behaved and know how to follow the rules. The teens can handle meals, chores, and bedtime without issues. They’ve got this.

We’re not worried about meals either. The two oldest can cook, and the younger kids aren’t picky. We’ve planned meals in advance, so it won’t be a big deal. The older kids know what to do, and there’s no drama over food preferences. And there won’t be any need for grocery shopping or other logistical tasks that might add stress to the situation.

I could if my daughter really wanted extra help, ask a close friend, to check in from time to time, but 24/7.

A five day trip to the Maldives is not a recharge trip or a way to “take a breather”. You are going to be more tired when you get home.

[Anonymous]

How is this trip only five days? It’s a minimum 23 hours from your house if you live in DC to the capital of the Maldives. You still then have to get to the resort.

[Anonymous]

WTF! You chose to have 8 kids. Don’t make it the oldest’s problem.

-Signed,
The second child whose older sibling was super responsible and got dumped with the younger siblings, and who is still dealing with the issues 40 years later because….seriously, just don’t!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this trip only five days? It’s a minimum 23 hours from your house if you live in DC to the capital of the Maldives. You still then have to get to the resort.

The actual vacation is five days, not including flights.