Reasonable to Ask 19YO to Cover Childcare for 5 Days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 40 and I would not want to care for 6 children by myself for a week.

+1. My husband just left me with two (well-behaved) teens and a dog for the week while he was away on a work trip. I couldn’t wait for him to get home!

You're pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 40 and I would not want to care for 6 children by myself for a week.

+1. My husband just left me with two (well-behaved) teens and a dog for the week while he was away on a work trip. I couldn’t wait for him to get home!

You're pathetic.

DP what a bizarre and hyperbolic response

Emotionally healthy people don't talk to people like this

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s unreasonable. I was 12, and babysit five younger siblings for a weekend while my mom was giving birth to baby #7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s unreasonable. I was 12, and babysit five younger siblings for a weekend while my mom was giving birth to baby #7.

To add, I did know how to cook, so I cooked breakfast and dinner and we ate sandwiches for lunch. We stayed inside and played games, watched TV, kept doors locked.

[Anonymous]

You typed a lot of words to try and justify this. Expecting a 19-year-old to babysit six kids with no brakes for five days while you’re out of town is completely unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

No way!! You and your DH watch your kids. How rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are these all biological siblings or are they stepkids?

Oooh excellent Q

[Anonymous]

You don’t take adult only trips with that many minor kids. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: We originally planned this assuming my MIL would stay with the kids, since our nanny is unavailable that week. We asked too late, and she already had plans with other family. She kindly offered to rearrange and babysit, but we said no — we didn’t want her to miss time with her other grandchildren.

This is a short, adults-only trip to the Maldives — not a family trip. Our daughter’s break is longer than a week, and she already has a trip with friends planned, so this wouldn’t be her entire break.

We already plan for the younger kids (ages 4–9) to be in full-day camps, and there will be playdates. Responsibilities will be divided among the teens, who genuinely look up to their older sister and are responsible and trustworthy. She will be paid $4k-6k?, not 100% sure yet, for the five days , and we prefer not to hire another babysitter, as we don’t trust anyone else as much as our nanny.

MIL isn’t available and my parents are traveling. This arrangement only happens with her full agreement. Backup adults are available nearby (SILs, siblings) if needed.

We understand this wouldn’t work for every family, but we’re trying to plan it thoughtfully and respectfully, so thanks for the tips on making sure this goes smoothly.

Cancel. You’re being selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s unreasonable. I was 12, and babysit five younger siblings for a weekend while my mom was giving birth to baby #7.

While I think that is unreasonable. And I’m assuming that while your mom was giving birth to baby #7, your father could be reached by phone in an emergency. So while I applaud your maturity, I hope you also get that if an emergency had happened during the weekend that you were responsible for 5 kids under the age of 12, in many jurisdictions that would have been a major CPS issue. I’d add that a somewhat unpredictable hospital trip is different from a planned vacation of 7+ days. If your parents’ actual plan was for a 12 year old to care for 5 younger kids for 48 hours without easy access to an adult, then I find that highly problematic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's your plan if she says no?

probably guilt trip, then financial support threats.
-eldest of 7

[Anonymous]

I think OP is a troll, but I also always feel so bad for older siblings in big families who end up doing a lot of caretaking. Teenagers shouldn't be parenting younger siblings.

[Anonymous]

We don't have nearly this large a family, but we do have an older teen girl who on occasion has been asked to babysit for the two younger siblings for a single overnight. We always ask her if she's willing and pay her, and we'd probably never do this over her winter or spring break. A single weekend day or TWD, or summer, sure, but I feel like winter and spring break are such times of recuperation and catching up for this age group. Older teens have so much on their plates with school, sports, part-time jobs, etc. and deserve to have downtime/ catchup time and time with friends.
Given that you said the smaller kids will be in day camp, it seems maybe okay if she is truly willing because she wants to earn the cash. However, it certainly doesn't seem ideal to me and I'd never do it. In fact, it gives me anxiety just thinking about the chaos in a house with that many kids of those ages and no adults for a week. To also consider is the perspective of the other kids-- a teen sibling doesn't replace a parent, and our youngest always is a little out of sorts when we're away, so for me I'd be thinking about the wellbeing of the 4 and 6 year old in this situation as well as the probably the 9 year old. Those little ones will probably be a little unmoored for the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 40 and I would not want to care for 6 children by myself for a week.

+1. My husband just left me with two (well-behaved) teens and a dog for the week while he was away on a work trip. I couldn’t wait for him to get home!

You're pathetic.

No, they aren't. If you are in a partnership and support each other, its very different when your spouse goes away.

Teens and kids should not be parenting themselves and each other for a week while the parents go on vacation. They change the vacation to when a sitter is available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, you are going on a spring break trip and not inviting any of your eight kids?

It makes perfect sense that someone selfish enough to have eight kids would then dump those kids and vacation alone.

And she'll come back from Spring Break pregnant with #9.