Reasonable to Ask 19YO to Cover Childcare for 5 Days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the one who posted about my parents doing this in the 70s. My older siblings have no resentment about this -/ and they didn’t get paid! OP is paying th child more than 1K per day and the kids will be in camp. This seems to me totally reasonable, and the kids might actually make some great bonding memories. With the follow up explanations this really seems to be to be no big deal. Older sibs are welling to help out. I think most people don’t understand how large families work…these teens have significant child care experience and if she’s says she’s comfortable with it, I’d believe her. It’s not a random 19 year old off the streets — she’s knows what she’s getting into.

I was the older kid in a large family and no, I do not think this is OK. It’s very different to do some babysitting (which I was OK with) vs this.

[Anonymous]

Why are people engaging with this troll? She claims she's taking a five day trip to the MALDIVES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you going that both of you you have to travel during the kids' spring break without them? This is a very bad idea.

Why did you have EIGHT KIDS to leave them behind for overseas vacations?

[Anonymous]

So what kind of car are you buying her for compensation?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I sincerely hope this post is not real, but in case it is:

I was the parentified oldest daughter in a large religious family. I was also the oldest girl of 30+ cousins. I was babysitting siblings and cousins regularly starting at age 10, including long stretches like this starting at 16. No, it was not OK. For one thing, I was exposed too early to all the downsides of parenting and was terrified to have my own kids (though I eventually did). But mostly, I was put in situations I wasn’t mature enough for yet. Children need a level of consistency and emotional maturity from their caregivers that teens aren’t equipped to provide.

[Anonymous]

The older kids watch the younger kids in our family. It works out because of the age gaps. 3 older with a 5 year gap with 2 youngest. They have no problems at watching the babies. Plus it cut nanny costs.,

[Anonymous]

Do not do this.

At 19, my dad left me in charge of my 11 year old half-brother, his mid-teens half-sisters, and the 10 year old boy that they were informally fostering.

It was just a weekend, but it caused me so much stress that I refused to visit for three years.

[Anonymous]

My daughter who’ll be 17 in May, could handle this, so I’m sure your 19 year old can.

[Anonymous]

Hire a professional nanny from a service to assist oldest DD at oldest DD’s direction. At least 40hrs over those 5 days. Why wouldn’t you? You obviously have plenty of money. Will make things easier for all.

As long as other trusted adults are available in the event of an emergency then it should be fine. As long as oldest DD is genuinely willing to do it. It does sound like she is being paid quite well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The older kids watch the younger kids in our family. It works out because of the age gaps. 3 older with a 5 year gap with 2 youngest. They have no problems at watching the babies. Plus it cut nanny costs.,

Of course they say they have “no problems,” you are their parent and they want your approval. And you have made that approval conditional on their unpaid labor. Shame on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you going that both of you you have to travel during the kids' spring break without them? This is a very bad idea.

I'm guessing some kind of MLM convention where OP and her husband will be getting a lot of "how do you manage" from the other schmucks in their upline. And OP will probably come home pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not do this.

At 19, my dad left me in charge of my 11 year old half-brother, his mid-teens half-sisters, and the 10 year old boy that they were informally fostering.

It was just a weekend, but it caused me so much stress that I refused to visit for three years.

That's a totally different situation in that it sounds like you didn't usually live with them.

I'm the mom with 6. I've been careful not to parentify my older kids. But they still know a lot about their younger siblings, the techniques we use to manage them and the routines in our house, etc . . . That would give him a huge advantage over an unfamiliar professional nanny.

I think $5K is a reasonable rate. It's basically $40 an hour for the first 40 hours and then time and a half above that. That's what a professional nanny would probably charge with a family this size.

If I was planning on paying $5K, I'd offer my 18 year old the right of first refusal. There's no way I'd hire any other 18 year old, unless it was a close family member. I also wouldn't want my 18 year old watching 5 kids for 5 days that weren't mine, unless maybe it was kids we knew well, and I was close by and available to help out.

[Anonymous]

I have not read what I am sure is an absolute catastrophe of a thread, but . . .

OP, I sincerely hope you and your husband are on a medical tourism trip for a joint vasectomy/tubal ligation. You've got too many kids already, and are displaying truly terrible judgment about their care.

This is, of course, on the 0.01% chance you aren't a troll.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you have children because of religious convictions. If so get your church to put together a child care train if adults to help your 19 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter who’ll be 17 in May, could handle this, so I’m sure your 19 year old can.

Because all daughters and all families and all situations are interchangeable?

How do you know that your now-16 year old daughter “could handle this”? Would CPS agree with you?