Reasonable to Ask 19YO to Cover Childcare for 5 Days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is this trip only five days? It’s a minimum 23 hours from your house if you live in DC to the capital of the Maldives. You still then have to get to the resort.

The actual vacation is five days, not including flights.

lol omg you are so self-centered. The title of your post is “childcare for 5 days” … you realize from the 19yo’s pov it doesn’t matter if you’re in the air or on an island? She’s going to be watching the kids for 8 days.

[Anonymous]

This would only work if each of the teens (13, 15, 19) took responsibility for one of the younger kids (9,6,4) and the 11 yo can be a helper. This is insane, I wouldn't do it, but maybe your kids would? That's way too many kids, especially with 4 and 6 year olds in the mix.

No way would I ask a 19 year old to be in charge of six kids. That sounds exhausting.

[Anonymous]

If the youngest were 8 or so I could envision something like this being no problem. 4 is just so little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this her spring break? I’d resent the hell out of you.

Seriously. You need to pay her a lot to make this even reasonable. Does she have school work to do over her break?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what’s your question here?

Things we should consider. PP at 16:05, for example is very helpful.

You should consider you are not being reasonable, thoughtful, fair or responsible.

You should consider you are telling your oldest that she will be the family servant - solo - while you are away.

But you’re a troll so your only real interest is to keep spinning this tale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: We originally planned this assuming my MIL would stay with the kids, since our nanny is unavailable that week. We asked too late, and she already had plans with other family. She kindly offered to rearrange and babysit, but we said no — we didn’t want her to miss time with her other grandchildren.

This is a short, adults-only trip to the Maldives — not a family trip. Our daughter’s break is longer than a week, and she already has a trip with friends planned, so this wouldn’t be her entire break.

We already plan for the younger kids (ages 4–9) to be in full-day camps, and there will be playdates. Responsibilities will be divided among the teens, who genuinely look up to their older sister and are responsible and trustworthy. She will be paid $4k-6k?, not 100% sure yet, for the five days , and we prefer not to hire another babysitter, as we don’t trust anyone else as much as our nanny.

MIL isn’t available and my parents are traveling. This arrangement only happens with her full agreement. Backup adults are available nearby (SILs, siblings) if needed.

We understand this wouldn’t work for every family, but we’re trying to plan it thoughtfully and respectfully, so thanks for the tips on making sure this goes smoothly.

How can you get to the Maldives and come back in a five day period- and still have time enjoy the Maldives?

It’s enough time for us. We’ve been before and don’t really need a super long vacation.

You are correct, three days at the location is not super long.

[Anonymous]

If I were your daughter and you sprang this on me, I wouldn't come home for spring break.

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with you? I love that you act like it’s better that they’re NOT in school for these 5 days. What the actual F. I am 43 and have kids and I would run screaming down the street. If she’s 100% up for it, I agree with a PP that it’s a $5K job. And you should have local friends and family available to support her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: We originally planned this assuming my MIL would stay with the kids, since our nanny is unavailable that week. We asked too late, and she already had plans with other family. She kindly offered to rearrange and babysit, but we said no — we didn’t want her to miss time with her other grandchildren.

This is a short, adults-only trip to the Maldives — not a family trip. Our daughter’s break is longer than a week, and she already has a trip with friends planned, so this wouldn’t be her entire break.

We already plan for the younger kids (ages 4–9) to be in full-day camps, and there will be playdates. Responsibilities will be divided among the teens, who genuinely look up to their older sister and are responsible and trustworthy. She will be paid $4k-6k?, not 100% sure yet, for the five days , and we prefer not to hire another babysitter, as we don’t trust anyone else as much as our nanny.

MIL isn’t available and my parents are traveling. This arrangement only happens with her full agreement. Backup adults are available nearby (SILs, siblings) if needed.

We understand this wouldn’t work for every family, but we’re trying to plan it thoughtfully and respectfully, so thanks for the tips on making sure this goes smoothly.

What college has more than a week break? How convenient that her trip with her friends matched up exactly with your trip- so she is available.

[Anonymous]

I think if you’re on your ninth kid you don’t get to go to the Maldives

[Anonymous]

Not with a 4 year old. They get sick, run fevers, randomly throw up and need their mom/parents for comfort.

[Anonymous]

How are you getting to the Maldives? What airports are you flying through?

[Anonymous]

Sure, but this is a recipe to have many of your children choose to never have children because of your selfish choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: We’re expecting, and this is our last chance for a trip before things get busy for a while. We already did a family vacation over Winter Break, but not every trip has to include the kids. We believe in making time for ourselves as a couple, especially before the baby arrives. We’ve always done family vacations, and we plan to keep doing them, but we also value the opportunity to recharge together. This is just one of those trips where we’re taking a breather.

In our family, it’s completely normal for grandparents to step in for a few days, even with little notice. It happens regularly, and everyone is comfortable with it. My parents and in-laws have helped us out many times before, and there’s no issue with it now. We’ve set clear expectations with everyone involved, and everyone’s on the same page, so there’s no concern about that.


We’re confident our teens can handle everything while we’re away. They’ve been hel They’re not partiers, and are good kids. Our younger kids are well-behaved and know how to follow the rules. The teens can handle meals, chores, and bedtime without issues. They’ve got this.

We’re not worried about meals either. The two oldest can cook, and the younger kids aren’t picky. We’ve planned meals in advance, so it won’t be a big deal. The older kids know what to do, and there’s no drama over food preferences. And there won’t be any need for grocery shopping or other logistical tasks that might add stress to the situation.

I could if my daughter really wanted extra help, ask a close friend, to check in from time to time, but 24/7.

OP, you are incredibly selfish. You reschedule the vacation. I've never been on a vacation without my kids and I don't understand this. You have a lot of kids and its not reasonable. What exactly do you do as a parent if you have the grandparents and a nanny doing all the work. This is a not a need, its a want. And, please use birth control given you cannot care for the kids you have.

[Anonymous]

It’s good that OP and her husband still prioritize couple time after 8 kids.. but I’d hire help for your 19 year old.