Elderly parents lost to MAGA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

He isn't surprised - they've been Republicans forever.

But he had hoped that they could be reached by facts and reason. After trying for years, he finally gave up after this last election and cut them off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

Exactly! My parents always had racist views and hate the poor. No surprise there!

As a minority (Black), I've always been confused about people acting surprised by their parents' newfound MAGA allegiance and racist/homophobic/etc beliefs. Sincere question: were there really no signs until the last few years. I can't imagine not being aware of my parents' uglier side for my entire life. I'm not judging (I promise) but how can adult children (or even teenagers) not recognize this in their parents at an earlier stage?

I wrote about my DH's MAGA parents and he isn't surprised at all.

They did use to be more subtle about their misogynist and racist beliefs though. They think it's more acceptable these days to openly say some of the disgusting things they say. Perhaps part of that is just them getting older and not GAF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

Exactly! My parents always had racist views and hate the poor. No surprise there!

As a minority (Black), I've always been confused about people acting surprised by their parents' newfound MAGA allegiance and racist/homophobic/etc beliefs. Sincere question: were there really no signs until the last few years. I can't imagine not being aware of my parents' uglier side for my entire life. I'm not judging (I promise) but how can adult children (or even teenagers) not recognize this in their parents at an earlier stage?

Their beliefs and opinions haven’t changed. There’s just a name to be aligned with now. People act as if MAGA is brainwashing their elders. It’s comical. Newsflash, your elders have always been this way. If your grandparents are over 75-80, they were/are racist and grandpa probably put hands on your grandma. They’re also who raised your parents.

MAGA is just a name for their like minded counterparts. They’ve always been who they are.

The "brainwash" part is the constant stream of lies and propaganda coming out of FoxNews, etc.

I do think they are choosing to believe the lies over facts though. DH has very calmly and genuinely tried to help them navigate out of the lies and discover the truth but they just refuse to listen to him. They prefer the lies and narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

Exactly! My parents always had racist views and hate the poor. No surprise there!

As a minority (Black), I've always been confused about people acting surprised by their parents' newfound MAGA allegiance and racist/homophobic/etc beliefs. Sincere question: were there really no signs until the last few years. I can't imagine not being aware of my parents' uglier side for my entire life. I'm not judging (I promise) but how can adult children (or even teenagers) not recognize this in their parents at an earlier stage?

I would not characterize my parents as MAGA, but both my brother and I were quite shocked when we learned they voted for Trump and apparently identify as Republicans. Neither my parents or grandparents (long since deceased) have ever/were ever racist or sexist. Like, the worst thing I ever heard was my grandmother, who was born in 1910, acknowledge that it was acceptable once to say "colored," and that was in reference to something someone else said in a story she was telling.

In retrospect we were raised as what I'd describe as color blind, but not particularly progressive. We didn't talk a lot of politics growing up but definitely talked about public policy or current events. My brother and I are both liberal.

My parents have bought into the lie that there "just wasn't a choice" so they had to vote for Trump. It's been kind of heartbreaking, if I'm honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

Exactly! My parents always had racist views and hate the poor. No surprise there!

As a minority (Black), I've always been confused about people acting surprised by their parents' newfound MAGA allegiance and racist/homophobic/etc beliefs. Sincere question: were there really no signs until the last few years. I can't imagine not being aware of my parents' uglier side for my entire life. I'm not judging (I promise) but how can adult children (or even teenagers) not recognize this in their parents at an earlier stage?

For almost all people there were signs. Absolutely. You just didn’t see them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

Exactly! My parents always had racist views and hate the poor. No surprise there!

As a minority (Black), I've always been confused about people acting surprised by their parents' newfound MAGA allegiance and racist/homophobic/etc beliefs. Sincere question: were there really no signs until the last few years. I can't imagine not being aware of my parents' uglier side for my entire life. I'm not judging (I promise) but how can adult children (or even teenagers) not recognize this in their parents at an earlier stage?

Their beliefs and opinions haven’t changed. There’s just a name to be aligned with now. People act as if MAGA is brainwashing their elders. It’s comical. Newsflash, your elders have always been this way. If your grandparents are over 75-80, they were/are racist and grandpa probably put hands on your grandma. They’re also who raised your parents.

MAGA is just a name for their like minded counterparts. They’ve always been who they are.

Well, my parents are both over 75 and are not and never have been racist. Painting an entire generation as racist is absurd. Do you think all people your age have the same thoughts and values? Millions and millions of people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

Just like a person with dementia is a shell of oneself, so are the elderly lost to any crazy ideas!
It can happen to anyone, okay maybe not maga specifically but crazy things of some kind.
My elderly dad is enchanted by classic communism, and Stalin for some reason. Go figure. He used to be normal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

Exactly! My parents always had racist views and hate the poor. No surprise there!

As a minority (Black), I've always been confused about people acting surprised by their parents' newfound MAGA allegiance and racist/homophobic/etc beliefs. Sincere question: were there really no signs until the last few years. I can't imagine not being aware of my parents' uglier side for my entire life. I'm not judging (I promise) but how can adult children (or even teenagers) not recognize this in their parents at an earlier stage?

My parent is lost to another crazy idea (not maga) and from what I remember as a teen there weren’t signs. He was always a bit quirky but…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

Exactly! My parents always had racist views and hate the poor. No surprise there!

As a minority (Black), I've always been confused about people acting surprised by their parents' newfound MAGA allegiance and racist/homophobic/etc beliefs. Sincere question: were there really no signs until the last few years. I can't imagine not being aware of my parents' uglier side for my entire life. I'm not judging (I promise) but how can adult children (or even teenagers) not recognize this in their parents at an earlier stage?

I would not characterize my parents as MAGA, but both my brother and I were quite shocked when we learned they voted for Trump and apparently identify as Republicans. Neither my parents or grandparents (long since deceased) have ever/were ever racist or sexist. Like, the worst thing I ever heard was my grandmother, who was born in 1910, acknowledge that it was acceptable once to say "colored," and that was in reference to something someone else said in a story she was telling.

In retrospect we were raised as what I'd describe as color blind, but not particularly progressive. We didn't talk a lot of politics growing up but definitely talked about public policy or current events. My brother and I are both liberal.

My parents have bought into the lie that there "just wasn't a choice" so they had to vote for Trump. It's been kind of heartbreaking, if I'm honest.

I was born in the 60s and as a young person, the "correct" term at the time to use was colored people. Then it shifted to Black. Then to African American. Or maybe the other way around. Now the correct term is "people of color".

It's crazy to me now that my 20 something kids think saying "colored people" is horrid, but saying "people of color" is just fine.

I don't want to insult anyone, and try to use the current correct terms, but "colored" vs "of color" just seems pretty similar to me.

In the 70s, most of my friends were into the Rocky Horror culture and Transvestite and Transsexual were terms used widely. Now you are shamed if you say either instead of Transgender. Which is a totally different thing, but the former terms are on the banned list.

I swear that some of the acceptable terms my adult kids are so used to will one day be on the out list and maybe then they will understand how easy it is for them to say something that was fine for 20 years and suddenly has become a phrase that is now offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

Exactly! My parents always had racist views and hate the poor. No surprise there!

As a minority (Black), I've always been confused about people acting surprised by their parents' newfound MAGA allegiance and racist/homophobic/etc beliefs. Sincere question: were there really no signs until the last few years. I can't imagine not being aware of my parents' uglier side for my entire life. I'm not judging (I promise) but how can adult children (or even teenagers) not recognize this in their parents at an earlier stage?

I would not characterize my parents as MAGA, but both my brother and I were quite shocked when we learned they voted for Trump and apparently identify as Republicans. Neither my parents or grandparents (long since deceased) have ever/were ever racist or sexist. Like, the worst thing I ever heard was my grandmother, who was born in 1910, acknowledge that it was acceptable once to say "colored," and that was in reference to something someone else said in a story she was telling.

In retrospect we were raised as what I'd describe as color blind, but not particularly progressive. We didn't talk a lot of politics growing up but definitely talked about public policy or current events. My brother and I are both liberal.

My parents have bought into the lie that there "just wasn't a choice" so they had to vote for Trump. It's been kind of heartbreaking, if I'm honest.

I was born in the 60s and as a young person, the "correct" term at the time to use was colored people. Then it shifted to Black. Then to African American. Or maybe the other way around. Now the correct term is "people of color".

It's crazy to me now that my 20 something kids think saying "colored people" is horrid, but saying "people of color" is just fine.

I don't want to insult anyone, and try to use the current correct terms, but "colored" vs "of color" just seems pretty similar to me.

In the 70s, most of my friends were into the Rocky Horror culture and Transvestite and Transsexual were terms used widely. Now you are shamed if you say either instead of Transgender. Which is a totally different thing, but the former terms are on the banned list.

I swear that some of the acceptable terms my adult kids are so used to will one day be on the out list and maybe then they will understand how easy it is for them to say something that was fine for 20 years and suddenly has become a phrase that is now offensive.

Same PP - I mean NAACP stands for National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.
This was an acceptable term in the 60s and 70s. Maybe longer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents, thankfully, have not succumbed, but some of their friends have. One in particular was over the edge. Her family finally took her phone away. I'm sure she still watches Fox News, but she's off the social media circle of doom silo, and she is almost back to the person we've always loved.

Love this deprogramming

I blocked Fox and nbc from my parents tv and leave their radios and Alexa on npr all day. Suddenly, they have become very critical of trump and think he’s changed. No, you just finally stopped hearing lies.

that didn't happen.

Yeah, this isn't true.

Also, you're now just "brainwashing" your parents the other way. Just as wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

Exactly! My parents always had racist views and hate the poor. No surprise there!

As a minority (Black), I've always been confused about people acting surprised by their parents' newfound MAGA allegiance and racist/homophobic/etc beliefs. Sincere question: were there really no signs until the last few years. I can't imagine not being aware of my parents' uglier side for my entire life. I'm not judging (I promise) but how can adult children (or even teenagers) not recognize this in their parents at an earlier stage?

Their beliefs and opinions haven’t changed. There’s just a name to be aligned with now. People act as if MAGA is brainwashing their elders. It’s comical. Newsflash, your elders have always been this way. If your grandparents are over 75-80, they were/are racist and grandpa probably put hands on your grandma. They’re also who raised your parents.

MAGA is just a name for their like minded counterparts. They’ve always been who they are.

Well, my parents are both over 75 and are not and never have been racist. Painting an entire generation as racist is absurd. Do you think all people your age have the same thoughts and values? Millions and millions of people?

Your parents were born in 1951. They most likely went to still partially segregated elementary school and used a different water fountain (among other things) than people of color until they were at least 13. Racial discrimination is racism. Plus, at that age, you mainly have your parents values and beliefs (1920s, 1930s,1940s America).

Forget it and pretend it never happened doesn't negate history. Your parents likely grew up and formed their own values and beliefs alongside the progressive movements of the 1960s and 1970s and no longer have racial biases, which is great. But to believe, as children, they went against the norm for white Americans is statistically improbable.

Also, comparing thoughts and values of people in 2026 vs the 1950s is what is really absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH’s parents are MAGA. He said it’d be better if they were dead instead of losing them to the insanity.

I can't come to believe that certain old people can be "lost" to MAGA. People are attracted or repulsed based on their pre-existing values. My grandparents were kind and decent and, while they didn't live long enough to see MAGA, they would never had been taken by mocking disabled people or just plain gratuitous cruelty. By contrast, my father bragged to us about bedding other women, so of course he is attracted to a man who grabs them by the p****y. My mother had her 4 children on food stamps and still hates the poor, so of course she loves a billionaire who accepts a $400MM gift from an Arab state. No one should be surprised that their family is MAGA.

Exactly! My parents always had racist views and hate the poor. No surprise there!

As a minority (Black), I've always been confused about people acting surprised by their parents' newfound MAGA allegiance and racist/homophobic/etc beliefs. Sincere question: were there really no signs until the last few years. I can't imagine not being aware of my parents' uglier side for my entire life. I'm not judging (I promise) but how can adult children (or even teenagers) not recognize this in their parents at an earlier stage?

I can answer this! It used to be socially unacceptable to display racism. Many boomers from MC backgrounds striving to reach UMC status were very focused on appearances. Showing racism was considered lower class or blue collar, not professional. They also lived in white bubbles. There were no black neighbors or Asian or Hispanic neighbors. Only white people in the their kids schools, and country clubs. The professional and c-suite jobs were all held by white men. They laughed at The Archie Bunker show because he said what they thought but couldn’t say because they had arrived at a higher social class.

IMO whether their kids grew up to be racist had much more to do with whether they branched out into new areas either for college or work where they saw and interacted with black people on a daily basis and as professional or social equals than moral values from home. As the racism was hidden when the kids grew up it wasn’t as deeply ingrained but if the kids stayed in their white bubbles it’s just as likely as not that they would be swayed by racist rhetoric.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - you are lucky to have parents that are alive. Grow up - none of the stuff you are ranting about matters. Your parents are not in positions of power.

We are on this earth for a very short of time.

This is such bs

+1 spewing hatred in front of young kids is a big deal. I don't care who you are. I don't want my kids exposed to that kind of hatred.

Neither did I when my in-laws said “The Israelis are brutal people” then looked at me and said “Oh, we don’t mean the Jews” in front of my Jewish kids.

Are your kids Israeli? If not, you are overreacting here. People can object to the actions of the Israeli government and not generalize those objections to all Jews everywhere. Duh.

Don't tell a Jewish person they're overreacting. Many of us are not Israeli but have Israeli family and friends; it kind of comes with the territory. And the PP said her parents specifically said the Israeli people, not the Israeli government.

My Israeli relatives are kind and gentle and have nothing but scorn for Bibi and his minions.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same boat on the opposite side of the aisle as my dad has been lost to MSNBC/NPR-fueled Trump Derangement Syndrome and hates that two of his three children have grown up to be "right-wingers" (his words). Ever since retirement, all he does is consume sensationalized news and mindlessly repeat the latest Democrat talking points. I've told him multiple times to drop it when he brings up politics but it's like he can't help himself. It's funny because my mom is more liberal than him, but we have a great relationship. (They're divorced.) I understand your need to rant, but ignore all the posters telling you to cut your family off. Cutting people off for having different political beliefs is akin to religious fundamentalists who shun apostates from their religion, IMHO.

P.S. If your response is something equating Trump and the GOP to Nazis, you really need to go touch grass.