Elderly parents lost to MAGA

[Anonymous]

Since Trump took office again they’ve become increasingly partisan and racist. I’ve known they’ve had a racist side— my mother has always commented on the race of new people they meet or who bought a house down the block, while my father will just declare nasty things about certain ethnic groups and then play poor disenfranchised white man (while sitting in his $1 million home with a generous public sector pension).

But since last spring, their behavior has gotten out of hand. They fully support everything Trump does and if you bring up something that’s obviously corruption they start ranting about Biden. My father said something very ugly over Thanksgiving dinner, just nasty and wrong to say right in front of my kids, and my mother just sat there quietly saying nothing. She’s a retired teacher, FFS, and wouldn’t correct him.

I’d avoid all Trump topics with them altogether but for my DH and I this is personal because we’re feds, have friends and family who are feds, and have seen first hand the fallout of this administration’s cruel decisions. But my parents refuse to even say something as simple as “we’re sorry this is happening to you” or “it’s wrong.” Thus just insist Trump is protecting the country from the Communists. Yep, the Commies again.

Last month, when Epstein came up, my mother declared I need to stop reading about Epstein, it’s old news and then chided me with “you focus on my children.” This is the same woman who was up in arms years ago when she learned one of my junior high teachers was arrested for pedophilia.

I’m disgusted and feel like they have turned into people I can’t have much of a relationship with. I have a sibling who gets on well with them and I’m at the point of telling her she’s on her own except for emergencies.

[Anonymous]

Bye bye! Don’t tolerate it. Hang up, walk out, and stop doing things with them.

[Anonymous]

Corrected

Anonymous wrote:Since Trump took office again they’ve become increasingly partisan and racist. I’ve known they’ve had a racist side— my mother has always commented on the race of new people they meet or who bought a house down the block, while my father will just declare nasty things about certain ethnic groups and then play poor disenfranchised white man (while sitting in his $1 million home with a generous public sector pension).

But since last spring, their behavior has gotten out of hand. They fully support everything Trump does and if you bring up something that’s obviously corruption they start ranting about Biden. My father said something very ugly over Thanksgiving dinner, just nasty and wrong to say right in front of my kids, and my mother just sat there quietly saying nothing. She’s a retired teacher, FFS, and wouldn’t correct him.

I’d avoid all Trump topics with them altogether but for my DH and I this is personal because we’re feds, have friends and family who are feds, and have seen first hand the fallout of this administration’s cruel decisions. But my parents refuse to even say something as simple as “we’re sorry this is happening to you” or “it’s wrong.” Thus just insist Trump is protecting the country from the Communists. Yep, the Commies again.

Last month, when Epstein came up, my mother declared I need to stop reading about Epstein, it’s old news and then chided me with “you should focus on your children.” This is the same woman who was up in arms years ago when she learned one of my junior high teachers was arrested for pedophilia.

I’m disgusted and feel like they have turned into people I can’t have much of a relationship with. I have a sibling who gets on well with them and I’m at the point of telling her she’s on her own except for emergencies.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the club. Many of us have been in it for years. It’s awful to see your parents get brainwashed into people whose values you don’t recognize. No advice, just sympathy.

[Anonymous]

I would have an explanation with your father and mother about rightwing media not telling the whole story and deliberately spinning information to protect the current administration.

And then I would tell him that he believes and propagates lies that I cannot support, and that I would cut him off if he persists. And then follow-through.

I feel strongly about such things, not because I am a Democrat or Republican, but because I'm believe in human decency. I do not forget that Obama separated families at the border, BTW. No President is innocent. It's the nature of the job. But they should all work to act humanely to as many people as they can. That's the difference between hateful and non-hateful administrations.

[Anonymous]

Another person here in the same boat as you - everything including fed jobs and one of my parents was a teacher.

And I’m sad. My dad has Parkinson’s and both mom and Dad are in their 70’s. They’re not getting any younger and I desperately want to spend quality, loving time with them but every time we’re together they say something that is completely awful.

I don’t want to be another one of the cliche “millennials that are ghosting their parents” but idk what else to do.

[Anonymous]

It's pretty nigh impossible to spend quality time with people who lack qualities you can even put up with.

Wishing people would change so a dream of quality time in their last years can come true is a waste of time.

Just say no.
If you need to, say why. But they will make you feel worse when you do.

[Anonymous]

Block their TV remote from Fox News and it will force them into 'red pill' news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bye bye! Don’t tolerate it. Hang up, walk out, and stop doing things with them.

This

[Anonymous]

I would not have my kids spend any time with them. Sad, but I wouldn't want my kids exposed to this kind of bigotry and hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Block their TV remote from Fox News and it will force them into 'red pill' news.

I did this, it worked

[Anonymous]

I am sorry. That sounds very tough. I would probably limit my children’s contact with them and tell them I will only spend time with them if they agree not to talk about anything political with me. And if they brought up something, I would leave immediately.

I think this is a problem that a lot of people have. Somehow my parents escaped the Fox News influence and I am so grateful.

[Anonymous]

You’re lucky you have a sibling who can take talk to them and so they see their kids, check.
I would not make any big statements either to sibling or to parents but I’d just withdraw.
Honestly I am a little jealous as I am supposed to see my parents often as someone who lives close to them, I wish I could take a nice long break from them.
Also I don’t think their trumpism is their conscious ideology, it’s how cognitive decline manifests in them. My dad is into communism of all things! I view it as some sort of mental degradation due to age and some mental issues he always had. I avoid discussed it but if it comes up I just pretend it’s some delusion of a mentally ill person.

[Anonymous]

The only thing that is good about both of my parents being dead is that they died before MAGA could brainwash either of them. I honestly think death is better.

I have lost my favorite aunt and uncle to the racism and disinformation of Fox News and I grieve it almost every day. I used to think they were such good people. I miss who they used to be. I don’t miss them now. I don’t want my son around their vitriol and nastiness. It feels like aliens stole them and their bodies have been replaced with evil personalities.

[Anonymous]

On IG, look up the Necessary Conversation. You'll have some company.