New mom friend referred to my toddlers cough as “kennel cough”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are being overly sensitive.

When I was a working mom, my kids were constantly sick at their preschool/daycare.

I stayed home with my third child and she went to preschool during Covid.

My boys who went to daycare probably have a far better immune system.

What she is saying about the nanny is probably true but it is rude to say.

I have received all sorts of rude comments throughout the years. I have received rude comments when I was a working mom and now that I’m a stay at home mom. Don’t take it personally. Some people are just rude.

Agreed but OP is not required to become friends with a rude person.

+1

Another way of framing this, rather than "OP is too sensitive" is "the friend is insensitive." Two sides to the coin, right?

I find it interesting that people often default to the idea that you need to tolerate rude or insensitive people because that's just how life is, but people rarely advise others to simply tolerate/accommodate people who are slightly more sensitive. IME sensitive people often have other good qualities that make it worthwhile to accommodate their sensitivity. They tend to be more empathetic and thoughtful, for instance, because they think more about the impact of words or actions. Those are nice qualities in a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IDK, if it were me, I'd find it really funny and henceforth will be referring to all daycare-related colds as kennel cough.

But if she's not normally a humorous person, yes I'd think that was a passive-aggressive dig.

+1
It sounds like you are insecure about your choice of childcare. Just own it and be good humored about it.

[Anonymous]

Id only keep that b around long enough to belittle her child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’ll sing a different tune when her kid starts getting sick every week like clockwork when she starts preschool (or kindergarten). And by then your kid won’t be getting sick much at all anymore. You can throw it right back at her in a similarly breezy tone. “Oh wow, looks like Larlita is the one with that kennel cough all winter now! SO glad my Larla got that out of the way when she was younger so that she doesn’t have to miss school now.”

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Have pity on the lady. She can't even raise her own kid without professional help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's judging you for using daycare vice a nanny, yes you should be annoyed.

But don't worry, the overprotected nanny kids just spend all of kindergarten getting sick every other week. So it'll come around. Play the long game and hold you kennel cough comments back until they are 5.

Can confirm - this is 100% true.

The only benefit to kids getting sick in Kindergarten versus as toddlers is sometimes the 5 year olds can blow their own noses a little bit.

[Anonymous]

I think “kennel cough” is hilarious, honestly. It perfectly describes that endless cough little ones get! I remember it echoing through the center’s hallways and thinking it would NEVER go away. (It’s definitely funnier in retrospective, obviously.)

But it sounds like there’s already some tension there about your different forms of childcare so I get you feeling a little miffed. Without knowing more I can’t tell if you’re possibly a bit too sensitive and this woman is just sharing things about her kid and nanny or if she’s just not a great friend.

[Anonymous]

I think this could potentially be perceived as very offensive.