New mom friend referred to my toddlers cough as “kennel cough”

[Anonymous]

In reference to her (DD) being in daycare and being sick often.

It was followed up with, “oh Larlita isn’t sick that often but our nanny is *very* careful during sick season.”

Would you be offended? Am I reading too much into it?

It is a sensitive subject for me. I love my job but putting my toddler in childcare has been difficult even though it’s a great center.

We are both working moms so know she wouldn’t be judgmental about that but she does make a lot of comments about her nanny making specific meals or taking her toddler to fun events.

Is this a me problem? It’s a newish friendship.

[Anonymous]

It would annoy me but I wouldn't snuff out a new friendship over it.

[Anonymous]

Ha ha that's a good one. I like it!

[Anonymous]

IDK, if it were me, I'd find it really funny and henceforth will be referring to all daycare-related colds as kennel cough.

But if she's not normally a humorous person, yes I'd think that was a passive-aggressive dig.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the comment is very nice at all. My guess is she’s also insecure about her childcare arrangement.

[Anonymous]

If my kid was coughing that much I’d take them to the doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha that's a good one. I like it!

Same I would have laughed. Motherhood is a long, long road and if you let yourself feel self conscious over your decisions, it's going to be tough.

[Anonymous]

If she's judging you for using daycare vice a nanny, yes you should be annoyed.

But don't worry, the overprotected nanny kids just spend all of kindergarten getting sick every other week. So it'll come around. Play the long game and hold you kennel cough comments back until they are 5.

[Anonymous]

That's how she is, you can continue the friendship and accept the insensitive comments or back away. Addressing it will only make things awkward and she will self censor more but it will fizzle out anyway as you'll both feel intensely judged by the other.

[Anonymous]

Okay, I actually think that's hilarious.

The context matters. If she's saying "I don't want your kid to come play if she still has that... (looks down her nose) kennel cough." (judgmental face) Then, okay, that's bad.

But if you're over playing and Larla starts coughing and you say "oh, gosh I'm sorry, she's coughing so much, she's really not that sick" and she laughs and says, "Oh, don't worry, I wouldn't stress about a little kennel cough" in a breezy tone? If you don't to be her friend, I'll take her number. She sounds awesome and funny.

[Anonymous]

Kennel cough isn't contagious, just a loud, persistent cough. A lot of kids/pups have a cough over the winter. You sound too sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IDK, if it were me, I'd find it really funny and henceforth will be referring to all daycare-related colds as kennel cough.

But if she's not normally a humorous person, yes I'd think that was a passive-aggressive dig.

This! It's actually hilarious, even if new mom friend didn't mean it that way (though I'm not saying she didn't).

[Anonymous]

If a fellow daycare mom said that I’d think it was hilarious but it sounds a little disparaging from the context you’ve given.

[Anonymous]

I think that's funny, but I'm also well beyond the stage where I would feel self-conscious about childcare arrangements since my kids are school-aged.

I would guess that she's self-conscious about having a nanny because you might think she's profligate OR over-protective, so she makes these comments about why she has a nanny to over-compensate.

And the kennel cough thing wasn't a dig in that case, more a joke, but I can see how it would have landed badly.

[Anonymous]

I appreciate calling it 'kennel cough', that's actually hilarious. But the part about somehow avoiding it by having a nanny makes it obnoxious.