holiday visits to god-awful hometowns

[Anonymous]

I agree with staying in a hotel. My MIL's house is tiny, inconvenient, and our sleep habits differ.

Staying at a Hampton with a nice breakfast buffet helps a lot. We go back to the hotel in the evening once conversation dies down.

One year we did find a board game that was a hit. So we had a good run with that for a while.

We've also started trying local downscale restaurants just to do something. We found a good one at a VFW right before Covid. Unfortunately it didn't stay in business.

I agree with the PP who said they take care of small issues. My MIL doesn't do online shopping so we talk through if there's anything I can order her that she can't find locally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents have been in the same house for 40+ years in my cookie-cutter hometown. We're visiting for Christmas and DH and I have agreed this is not how we want to spend future holidays when we have time off. The kids are older and get antsy after two days. The only thing of interest to do is drive or take the metro into the big nearby city, but even that has gotten old. For those who are also obliged to spend their time off more or less sitting in their parents living room eating coffee cake being asked questions about people you haven't seen in decades, how do you cope?

This isn't even a walkable place with a pretty downtown with Christmas lights and coffee shops and bookstores. Walking around there isn't even safe. It's a sprawling suburb off a busy road that no one in their right mind would want to walk. No paved walkway for pedestrians. You're literally tiptoeing on a narrow dirt path through weeds to get to a Starbucks a mile away. My parents, of course, think it's a wonderful place and don't understand why we are bored or ask about meeting elsewhere for the holidays. I've suggested cruises, meeting up in a pretty tourist destination, anything. But they refuse.

You and your kids don't like the sleepy home town, and they also don't like going to the nearby big city.

Have you considered that the problem here isn't your parents? Seems like you won't be happy with anything other than a resort or a tourist destination.

[Anonymous]

Growing up my paternal grandparents lived on Long Island. They were not interested in going to the city, the beach, or basically anything like that. They wanted to go to their nearby strip mall and eat at the Chinese buffet. So my mom insisted we stay at a motel nearby and we did our thing all day, then came back at night to eat with them. They were welcome to come along during the day, sometimes they did.
You need to make your own fun or consider switching these visits to summer when there's more to do outside. You cannot never visit your parents again because they don't live in a tropical climate and are boring.

[Anonymous]

One night in the city nearby. The night you arrive (or your last night) and 2 nights at your parent's. Use the excuse that after 48 hours, guests and fish start to stink (that's a line from your parent's generation).

[Anonymous]

You're there to visit not to vacation. You spend time with your family. Cook, play games, watch a movie, go for a walk. Why do you need outings? Most people who visit family aren't there for the locale. You sound really obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Just don't go.
Say, "it's boring there, it costs money to travel there so just no. If you want to see us meet us somewhere or come to our place." And then hold fast to this.
Why do your parents get to dictate this year after year?

[Anonymous]

I can't understand this place. There's a metro in a big city an hour away and you sit in traffic for an hour to get there and there's nothing to do and it's not safe to walk around unless you walk on a dirt path to Starbucks.

This can't be real.

Adjust your attitude. You're a sourpuss...be better for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Gee OP. How arrogant and judgmental you sound. If I were your parents, I wouldn’t want you visiting me. Wait until they are dead and come back and read your post here. Shane on you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You cant go for 2-3 days and be resilient and kind enough to just...sit with your parents? Take games, books, teach your kids to be bored. Bring gifts to wrap there. Drive to Starbucks or order it. I don't see the problem. You sound like a brat. FWIW I am a 40-something mom with teens.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws live in a town that isn't big. As the kids got older, I started doing research about things to do (even though DH grew up there it was a long time since he lived there). Discovered a great children's museum, some nice hiking areas, places to ice skate and swim, farmers markets, etc.

You have a car. Plan some events. Take your parents out to eat. Do some baking. I think you are mad you have to use vacation days to travel to a place you don't love. I get it. But since you DO have to travel there, try and make it fun instead of generating negative vibes that will make visits seem like a chore to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate MAGA and I'd rather spend time with OPs parents than with her and her family.

Same!!

[Anonymous]

We are going to small town NE with two teens to visit 95 year old grandparents as we do every year. No it's not skiing in the alps or touring Japan but it's part of being a family. Baking, gingerbread house, board games, jigsaw puzzles...we stay for three days. You can do this OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You cant go for 2-3 days and be resilient and kind enough to just...sit with your parents? Take games, books, teach your kids to be bored. Bring gifts to wrap there. Drive to Starbucks or order it. I don't see the problem. You sound like a brat. FWIW I am a 40-something mom with teens.

+1

The OP sounds insufferable. I can't imagine complaining about spending time with my parents.

When I was a kid, we used to spend a week in my grandparents' town of 250 people. There were no stores, no places to go see, and no larger towns within a 30-mile radius. My grandparents' home was a 750-square-foot, two-bedroom home, yet we fit seven people into it so we could spend time with them. Were we bored at times? Sure, but we also recognized how valuable the time with our grandparents was. If my siblings and I understood that when we were 6-18 years old, surely you can learn to understand that when you are an adult.

OP, you need to take a step back and evaluate how lucky you and your family are to be able to spend time together. Be a better parent and show your kid how to appreciate the opportunity to spend time with their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are going to small town NE with two teens to visit 95 year old grandparents as we do every year. No it's not skiing in the alps or touring Japan but it's part of being a family. Baking, gingerbread house, board games, jigsaw puzzles...we stay for three days. You can do this OP

That is sweet but a little different. OP doesn't say her patients are too old to travel. I would be upset by their intransigence if it also cost $$$ and time to get there. When everyone is healthy , reasonable people are willing to alternate locales and be flexible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are going to small town NE with two teens to visit 95 year old grandparents as we do every year. No it's not skiing in the alps or touring Japan but it's part of being a family. Baking, gingerbread house, board games, jigsaw puzzles...we stay for three days. You can do this OP

That is sweet but a little different. OP doesn't say her patients are too old to travel. I would be upset by their intransigence if it also cost $$$ and time to get there. When everyone is healthy , reasonable people are willing to alternate locales and be flexible.

NP. OK, the old folks are healthy but inflexible.

You know who else could be more flexible? OP. She could either:

A) Choose to not visit, and simply invite her parents to her or invite them on a vacation, being prepared to take no for an answer, and being prepared to let them grumble about no visits.

B) Make the best of visiting a “boring” hometown that, if nothing else, is at least close to a big city. I really do assure you that if I can make it work in my small Midwestern town, OP can make it work within driving distance of a city that has a METRO, FFS. Note that OP has failed to mention the locale. That’s because she knows full well within five minutes of naming the town, we could come up with 50 fun activities. And so could she, but she would rather complain. Oh well!