Do healthy, masculine men still exist?

[Anonymous]

There’s no excuse for not being able to fix lots of what’s broke these days, not with YouTube, Google, and Harbor Freight Tools stores close by. So if your guy can’t do anything with his hands, it shouldn’t be too hard to find one who can.

And no, using duct tape to temporarily reattach stuff does not count as fixing anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

You don't need to necessarily change a tire to be masculine - I dated one man who, if I had a flat, would immediately call roadside assistance to change it and call an Uber so I could get my kids to school. That was extremely masculine and attractive to me. It's more about just being able to take charge and get it handled.

And yes, I *can* do those things myself, but I find it incredibly sexy when a man does them for me. Or at the very least offers to help in some way, even if it's "sounds like a rough day, I'll bring you dinner tonight". The worst is a man who just says "ah that sucks" then moves on.

Although not being able to change a lightbulb doesn't sound great. A man sitting at home in the dark because he doesn't know how to change it isn't very attractive.

Agreed. Problem solving and initiative are masculine and attractive, whether you fix something with your own hands or get it done another way.

These labels are reductive. Plenty of women are problem solvers and have initiative. So they are masculine?

Exactly. What those pps are saying is they want a daddy so they can be little girls

I’m a PP from earlier, and I wouldn’t necessarily say this (although tbh we do call each other daddy/princess during….well, you know).

I own a company, so I am someone who problem solves and takes initiative daily. I think it’s good for women to be able to do that, just like I think it’s good for men to be able to do more feminine things like talk through emotions.

In my relationship, what works for me, is I like a man who can take initiative and solve problems. It makes me feel safe and relaxed, like I have someone on my team.

I also bring a lot of feminine energy to our relationship. I bring the playfulness and emotional safety/empathy, which helps draw him out of his shell, loosen up, and lets him feel safe. His guy friends won’t notice if something is wrong, but I do, and provide a safe place for him to work through it. I often plan our dates and I get dressed up, which makes him feel good. If we’re hosting a party, he’s great at the logistics, I’m great with creating the vibe and making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. It’s not that the other *can’t* do those things - of course I can help with logistics, and he can help create a fun atmosphere - but we work well together when we each focus on our strengths.

This is what works *for us* in our relationship. It doesn’t mean all relationships should be this way, or that all men should be one way and all women another. Everybody should do what is best for them (and in fact, when I was younger, I would have hated this dynamic as I was very independent and would have been offended at offers to help!)

everyone should do what works for them while you believe in masculine and feminine traits and polarity that is a bunch of made up BS. Not only do you want to act like a child you think like one as well.

PP. So I actually do agree with you that these traits shouldn’t necessarily be labeled masculine/feminine. I think people should be able to do both.

I really think describing things as masculine/feminine is just a way to describe what we find attractive in the opposite sex rather than prescriptions of what men and women should do.

PP mentioned making money, deadlifting, changing tires, etc - all of which are things I do as a woman. But I don’t think many men are going to be attracted to those traits specifically. Whereas I’m highly attracted to those traits in men.

And it’s just an easy, culturally acceptable way to group traits for communication. If you say you want a masculine man or a feminine woman, the other person gets the general idea, rather than you having to list out every single trait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

You don't need to necessarily change a tire to be masculine - I dated one man who, if I had a flat, would immediately call roadside assistance to change it and call an Uber so I could get my kids to school. That was extremely masculine and attractive to me. It's more about just being able to take charge and get it handled.

And yes, I *can* do those things myself, but I find it incredibly sexy when a man does them for me. Or at the very least offers to help in some way, even if it's "sounds like a rough day, I'll bring you dinner tonight". The worst is a man who just says "ah that sucks" then moves on.

Although not being able to change a lightbulb doesn't sound great. A man sitting at home in the dark because he doesn't know how to change it isn't very attractive.

Agreed. Problem solving and initiative are masculine and attractive, whether you fix something with your own hands or get it done another way.

These labels are reductive. Plenty of women are problem solvers and have initiative. So they are masculine?

Exactly. What those pps are saying is they want a daddy so they can be little girls

I’m a PP from earlier, and I wouldn’t necessarily say this (although tbh we do call each other daddy/princess during….well, you know).

I own a company, so I am someone who problem solves and takes initiative daily. I think it’s good for women to be able to do that, just like I think it’s good for men to be able to do more feminine things like talk through emotions.

In my relationship, what works for me, is I like a man who can take initiative and solve problems. It makes me feel safe and relaxed, like I have someone on my team.

I also bring a lot of feminine energy to our relationship. I bring the playfulness and emotional safety/empathy, which helps draw him out of his shell, loosen up, and lets him feel safe. His guy friends won’t notice if something is wrong, but I do, and provide a safe place for him to work through it. I often plan our dates and I get dressed up, which makes him feel good. If we’re hosting a party, he’s great at the logistics, I’m great with creating the vibe and making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. It’s not that the other *can’t* do those things - of course I can help with logistics, and he can help create a fun atmosphere - but we work well together when we each focus on our strengths.

This is what works *for us* in our relationship. It doesn’t mean all relationships should be this way, or that all men should be one way and all women another. Everybody should do what is best for them (and in fact, when I was younger, I would have hated this dynamic as I was very independent and would have been offended at offers to help!)

$100 says you’re a second wife.

Nope! You’d have lost that bet He’s actually a bit younger than me, and I think his longest relationship was only about a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

You don't need to necessarily change a tire to be masculine - I dated one man who, if I had a flat, would immediately call roadside assistance to change it and call an Uber so I could get my kids to school. That was extremely masculine and attractive to me. It's more about just being able to take charge and get it handled.

And yes, I *can* do those things myself, but I find it incredibly sexy when a man does them for me. Or at the very least offers to help in some way, even if it's "sounds like a rough day, I'll bring you dinner tonight". The worst is a man who just says "ah that sucks" then moves on.

Although not being able to change a lightbulb doesn't sound great. A man sitting at home in the dark because he doesn't know how to change it isn't very attractive.

Agreed. Problem solving and initiative are masculine and attractive, whether you fix something with your own hands or get it done another way.

These labels are reductive. Plenty of women are problem solvers and have initiative. So they are masculine?

Exactly. What those pps are saying is they want a daddy so they can be little girls

I’m a PP from earlier, and I wouldn’t necessarily say this (although tbh we do call each other daddy/princess during….well, you know).

I own a company, so I am someone who problem solves and takes initiative daily. I think it’s good for women to be able to do that, just like I think it’s good for men to be able to do more feminine things like talk through emotions.

In my relationship, what works for me, is I like a man who can take initiative and solve problems. It makes me feel safe and relaxed, like I have someone on my team.

I also bring a lot of feminine energy to our relationship. I bring the playfulness and emotional safety/empathy, which helps draw him out of his shell, loosen up, and lets him feel safe. His guy friends won’t notice if something is wrong, but I do, and provide a safe place for him to work through it. I often plan our dates and I get dressed up, which makes him feel good. If we’re hosting a party, he’s great at the logistics, I’m great with creating the vibe and making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. It’s not that the other *can’t* do those things - of course I can help with logistics, and he can help create a fun atmosphere - but we work well together when we each focus on our strengths.

This is what works *for us* in our relationship. It doesn’t mean all relationships should be this way, or that all men should be one way and all women another. Everybody should do what is best for them (and in fact, when I was younger, I would have hated this dynamic as I was very independent and would have been offended at offers to help!)

everyone should do what works for them while you believe in masculine and feminine traits and polarity that is a bunch of made up BS. Not only do you want to act like a child you think like one as well.

PP. So I actually do agree with you that these traits shouldn’t necessarily be labeled masculine/feminine. I think people should be able to do both.

I really think describing things as masculine/feminine is just a way to describe what we find attractive in the opposite sex rather than prescriptions of what men and women should do.

PP mentioned making money, deadlifting, changing tires, etc - all of which are things I do as a woman. But I don’t think many men are going to be attracted to those traits specifically. Whereas I’m highly attracted to those traits in men.

And it’s just an easy, culturally acceptable way to group traits for communication. If you say you want a masculine man or a feminine woman, the other person gets the general idea, rather than you having to list out every single trait.

A different PP. Thanks for confirming - if it just means “what I find attractive” it’s meaningless as a gender label.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems that everything is on one side of the spectrum or the other - either more feminine men or toxic masculine men. Very little to find in the middle.

Chances are very low in DC. Most of the men have been fairly feminized here.
Here is a suggestion. Try the fire department. They have occasional get togethers and fun raisers here locally. They do an occasional charity bowling night for instance. This is often through their Emerald Society. They actually helped build the burn center at MedStar and host burn camps for children and adult burn survivors. Not to mention many of these guys are educated and well spoken and make a very god salary. Many own businesses as well, due to their schedule. And almost all of them are mechanically proficient and never afraid to get their hands dirty. However, most have no clue what people do in DC socially. Don't get me wrong, there are all sorts in the fire department and many you would not be interested in. But the odds are much much better than the soy boy you find in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

You don't need to necessarily change a tire to be masculine - I dated one man who, if I had a flat, would immediately call roadside assistance to change it and call an Uber so I could get my kids to school. That was extremely masculine and attractive to me. It's more about just being able to take charge and get it handled.

And yes, I *can* do those things myself, but I find it incredibly sexy when a man does them for me. Or at the very least offers to help in some way, even if it's "sounds like a rough day, I'll bring you dinner tonight". The worst is a man who just says "ah that sucks" then moves on.

Although not being able to change a lightbulb doesn't sound great. A man sitting at home in the dark because he doesn't know how to change it isn't very attractive.

Agreed. Problem solving and initiative are masculine and attractive, whether you fix something with your own hands or get it done another way.

These labels are reductive. Plenty of women are problem solvers and have initiative. So they are masculine?

Exactly. What those pps are saying is they want a daddy so they can be little girls

I’m a PP from earlier, and I wouldn’t necessarily say this (although tbh we do call each other daddy/princess during….well, you know).

I own a company, so I am someone who problem solves and takes initiative daily. I think it’s good for women to be able to do that, just like I think it’s good for men to be able to do more feminine things like talk through emotions.

In my relationship, what works for me, is I like a man who can take initiative and solve problems. It makes me feel safe and relaxed, like I have someone on my team.

I also bring a lot of feminine energy to our relationship. I bring the playfulness and emotional safety/empathy, which helps draw him out of his shell, loosen up, and lets him feel safe. His guy friends won’t notice if something is wrong, but I do, and provide a safe place for him to work through it. I often plan our dates and I get dressed up, which makes him feel good. If we’re hosting a party, he’s great at the logistics, I’m great with creating the vibe and making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. It’s not that the other *can’t* do those things - of course I can help with logistics, and he can help create a fun atmosphere - but we work well together when we each focus on our strengths.

This is what works *for us* in our relationship. It doesn’t mean all relationships should be this way, or that all men should be one way and all women another. Everybody should do what is best for them (and in fact, when I was younger, I would have hated this dynamic as I was very independent and would have been offended at offers to help!)

everyone should do what works for them while you believe in masculine and feminine traits and polarity that is a bunch of made up BS. Not only do you want to act like a child you think like one as well.

PP. So I actually do agree with you that these traits shouldn’t necessarily be labeled masculine/feminine. I think people should be able to do both.

I really think describing things as masculine/feminine is just a way to describe what we find attractive in the opposite sex rather than prescriptions of what men and women should do.

PP mentioned making money, deadlifting, changing tires, etc - all of which are things I do as a woman. But I don’t think many men are going to be attracted to those traits specifically. Whereas I’m highly attracted to those traits in men.

And it’s just an easy, culturally acceptable way to group traits for communication. If you say you want a masculine man or a feminine woman, the other person gets the general idea, rather than you having to list out every single trait.

A different PP. Thanks for confirming - if it just means “what I find attractive” it’s meaningless as a gender label.

Eh, not really. Certain traits cluster more in men and certain traits cluster more in women. Obviously this is culture and regional specific and can very, but the closers do exist and its fine labelling it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

You don't need to necessarily change a tire to be masculine - I dated one man who, if I had a flat, would immediately call roadside assistance to change it and call an Uber so I could get my kids to school. That was extremely masculine and attractive to me. It's more about just being able to take charge and get it handled.

And yes, I *can* do those things myself, but I find it incredibly sexy when a man does them for me. Or at the very least offers to help in some way, even if it's "sounds like a rough day, I'll bring you dinner tonight". The worst is a man who just says "ah that sucks" then moves on.

Although not being able to change a lightbulb doesn't sound great. A man sitting at home in the dark because he doesn't know how to change it isn't very attractive.

Agreed. Problem solving and initiative are masculine and attractive, whether you fix something with your own hands or get it done another way.

These labels are reductive. Plenty of women are problem solvers and have initiative. So they are masculine?

Exactly. What those pps are saying is they want a daddy so they can be little girls

I’m a PP from earlier, and I wouldn’t necessarily say this (although tbh we do call each other daddy/princess during….well, you know).

I own a company, so I am someone who problem solves and takes initiative daily. I think it’s good for women to be able to do that, just like I think it’s good for men to be able to do more feminine things like talk through emotions.

In my relationship, what works for me, is I like a man who can take initiative and solve problems. It makes me feel safe and relaxed, like I have someone on my team.

I also bring a lot of feminine energy to our relationship. I bring the playfulness and emotional safety/empathy, which helps draw him out of his shell, loosen up, and lets him feel safe. His guy friends won’t notice if something is wrong, but I do, and provide a safe place for him to work through it. I often plan our dates and I get dressed up, which makes him feel good. If we’re hosting a party, he’s great at the logistics, I’m great with creating the vibe and making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. It’s not that the other *can’t* do those things - of course I can help with logistics, and he can help create a fun atmosphere - but we work well together when we each focus on our strengths.

This is what works *for us* in our relationship. It doesn’t mean all relationships should be this way, or that all men should be one way and all women another. Everybody should do what is best for them (and in fact, when I was younger, I would have hated this dynamic as I was very independent and would have been offended at offers to help!)

everyone should do what works for them while you believe in masculine and feminine traits and polarity that is a bunch of made up BS. Not only do you want to act like a child you think like one as well.

PP. So I actually do agree with you that these traits shouldn’t necessarily be labeled masculine/feminine. I think people should be able to do both.

I really think describing things as masculine/feminine is just a way to describe what we find attractive in the opposite sex rather than prescriptions of what men and women should do.

PP mentioned making money, deadlifting, changing tires, etc - all of which are things I do as a woman. But I don’t think many men are going to be attracted to those traits specifically. Whereas I’m highly attracted to those traits in men.

And it’s just an easy, culturally acceptable way to group traits for communication. If you say you want a masculine man or a feminine woman, the other person gets the general idea, rather than you having to list out every single trait.

A different PP. Thanks for confirming - if it just means “what I find attractive” it’s meaningless as a gender label.

Eh, not really. Certain traits cluster more in men and certain traits cluster more in women. Obviously this is culture and regional specific and can very, but the closers do exist and its fine labelling it.

Considering the traits people have listed here (makes money, problem solver, makes dinner, fixes things. caring), I’m going to disagree that it’s not sex-based but both sexes want care and self-sufficiency.

Your husband may not say he wants a woman who deadlifts, but is attracted to the results.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

You don't need to necessarily change a tire to be masculine - I dated one man who, if I had a flat, would immediately call roadside assistance to change it and call an Uber so I could get my kids to school. That was extremely masculine and attractive to me. It's more about just being able to take charge and get it handled.

And yes, I *can* do those things myself, but I find it incredibly sexy when a man does them for me. Or at the very least offers to help in some way, even if it's "sounds like a rough day, I'll bring you dinner tonight". The worst is a man who just says "ah that sucks" then moves on.

Although not being able to change a lightbulb doesn't sound great. A man sitting at home in the dark because he doesn't know how to change it isn't very attractive.

Agreed. Problem solving and initiative are masculine and attractive, whether you fix something with your own hands or get it done another way.

These labels are reductive. Plenty of women are problem solvers and have initiative. So they are masculine?

Exactly. What those pps are saying is they want a daddy so they can be little girls

I’m a PP from earlier, and I wouldn’t necessarily say this (although tbh we do call each other daddy/princess during….well, you know).

I own a company, so I am someone who problem solves and takes initiative daily. I think it’s good for women to be able to do that, just like I think it’s good for men to be able to do more feminine things like talk through emotions.

In my relationship, what works for me, is I like a man who can take initiative and solve problems. It makes me feel safe and relaxed, like I have someone on my team.

I also bring a lot of feminine energy to our relationship. I bring the playfulness and emotional safety/empathy, which helps draw him out of his shell, loosen up, and lets him feel safe. His guy friends won’t notice if something is wrong, but I do, and provide a safe place for him to work through it. I often plan our dates and I get dressed up, which makes him feel good. If we’re hosting a party, he’s great at the logistics, I’m great with creating the vibe and making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. It’s not that the other *can’t* do those things - of course I can help with logistics, and he can help create a fun atmosphere - but we work well together when we each focus on our strengths.

This is what works *for us* in our relationship. It doesn’t mean all relationships should be this way, or that all men should be one way and all women another. Everybody should do what is best for them (and in fact, when I was younger, I would have hated this dynamic as I was very independent and would have been offended at offers to help!)

everyone should do what works for them while you believe in masculine and feminine traits and polarity that is a bunch of made up BS. Not only do you want to act like a child you think like one as well.

PP. So I actually do agree with you that these traits shouldn’t necessarily be labeled masculine/feminine. I think people should be able to do both.

I really think describing things as masculine/feminine is just a way to describe what we find attractive in the opposite sex rather than prescriptions of what men and women should do.

PP mentioned making money, deadlifting, changing tires, etc - all of which are things I do as a woman. But I don’t think many men are going to be attracted to those traits specifically. Whereas I’m highly attracted to those traits in men.

And it’s just an easy, culturally acceptable way to group traits for communication. If you say you want a masculine man or a feminine woman, the other person gets the general idea, rather than you having to list out every single trait.

A different PP. Thanks for confirming - if it just means “what I find attractive” it’s meaningless as a gender label.

Eh, not really. Certain traits cluster more in men and certain traits cluster more in women. Obviously this is culture and regional specific and can very, but the closers do exist and its fine labelling it.

Considering the traits people have listed here (makes money, problem solver, makes dinner, fixes things. caring), I’m going to disagree that it’s not sex-based but both sexes want care and self-sufficiency.

Your husband may not say he wants a woman who deadlifts, but is attracted to the results.

I think men and women are attracted to different results.

Men are attracted to looks (the big booty), but don't really care how a woman gets there or how much she can lift.

Women are attracted to the physical strength aspect but don't care as much about looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

You don't need to necessarily change a tire to be masculine - I dated one man who, if I had a flat, would immediately call roadside assistance to change it and call an Uber so I could get my kids to school. That was extremely masculine and attractive to me. It's more about just being able to take charge and get it handled.

And yes, I *can* do those things myself, but I find it incredibly sexy when a man does them for me. Or at the very least offers to help in some way, even if it's "sounds like a rough day, I'll bring you dinner tonight". The worst is a man who just says "ah that sucks" then moves on.

Although not being able to change a lightbulb doesn't sound great. A man sitting at home in the dark because he doesn't know how to change it isn't very attractive.

Agreed. Problem solving and initiative are masculine and attractive, whether you fix something with your own hands or get it done another way.

These labels are reductive. Plenty of women are problem solvers and have initiative. So they are masculine?

Exactly. What those pps are saying is they want a daddy so they can be little girls

I’m a PP from earlier, and I wouldn’t necessarily say this (although tbh we do call each other daddy/princess during….well, you know).

I own a company, so I am someone who problem solves and takes initiative daily. I think it’s good for women to be able to do that, just like I think it’s good for men to be able to do more feminine things like talk through emotions.

In my relationship, what works for me, is I like a man who can take initiative and solve problems. It makes me feel safe and relaxed, like I have someone on my team.

I also bring a lot of feminine energy to our relationship. I bring the playfulness and emotional safety/empathy, which helps draw him out of his shell, loosen up, and lets him feel safe. His guy friends won’t notice if something is wrong, but I do, and provide a safe place for him to work through it. I often plan our dates and I get dressed up, which makes him feel good. If we’re hosting a party, he’s great at the logistics, I’m great with creating the vibe and making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. It’s not that the other *can’t* do those things - of course I can help with logistics, and he can help create a fun atmosphere - but we work well together when we each focus on our strengths.

This is what works *for us* in our relationship. It doesn’t mean all relationships should be this way, or that all men should be one way and all women another. Everybody should do what is best for them (and in fact, when I was younger, I would have hated this dynamic as I was very independent and would have been offended at offers to help!)

everyone should do what works for them while you believe in masculine and feminine traits and polarity that is a bunch of made up BS. Not only do you want to act like a child you think like one as well.

PP. So I actually do agree with you that these traits shouldn’t necessarily be labeled masculine/feminine. I think people should be able to do both.

I really think describing things as masculine/feminine is just a way to describe what we find attractive in the opposite sex rather than prescriptions of what men and women should do.

PP mentioned making money, deadlifting, changing tires, etc - all of which are things I do as a woman. But I don’t think many men are going to be attracted to those traits specifically. Whereas I’m highly attracted to those traits in men.

And it’s just an easy, culturally acceptable way to group traits for communication. If you say you want a masculine man or a feminine woman, the other person gets the general idea, rather than you having to list out every single trait.

A different PP. Thanks for confirming - if it just means “what I find attractive” it’s meaningless as a gender label.

Eh, not really. Certain traits cluster more in men and certain traits cluster more in women. Obviously this is culture and regional specific and can very, but the closers do exist and its fine labelling it.

No it's stupid . I'm grateful for the labelling though it helps me avoid stupid people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

You don't need to necessarily change a tire to be masculine - I dated one man who, if I had a flat, would immediately call roadside assistance to change it and call an Uber so I could get my kids to school. That was extremely masculine and attractive to me. It's more about just being able to take charge and get it handled.

And yes, I *can* do those things myself, but I find it incredibly sexy when a man does them for me. Or at the very least offers to help in some way, even if it's "sounds like a rough day, I'll bring you dinner tonight". The worst is a man who just says "ah that sucks" then moves on.

Although not being able to change a lightbulb doesn't sound great. A man sitting at home in the dark because he doesn't know how to change it isn't very attractive.

Agreed. Problem solving and initiative are masculine and attractive, whether you fix something with your own hands or get it done another way.

These labels are reductive. Plenty of women are problem solvers and have initiative. So they are masculine?

Exactly. What those pps are saying is they want a daddy so they can be little girls

I’m a PP from earlier, and I wouldn’t necessarily say this (although tbh we do call each other daddy/princess during….well, you know).

I own a company, so I am someone who problem solves and takes initiative daily. I think it’s good for women to be able to do that, just like I think it’s good for men to be able to do more feminine things like talk through emotions.

In my relationship, what works for me, is I like a man who can take initiative and solve problems. It makes me feel safe and relaxed, like I have someone on my team.

I also bring a lot of feminine energy to our relationship. I bring the playfulness and emotional safety/empathy, which helps draw him out of his shell, loosen up, and lets him feel safe. His guy friends won’t notice if something is wrong, but I do, and provide a safe place for him to work through it. I often plan our dates and I get dressed up, which makes him feel good. If we’re hosting a party, he’s great at the logistics, I’m great with creating the vibe and making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. It’s not that the other *can’t* do those things - of course I can help with logistics, and he can help create a fun atmosphere - but we work well together when we each focus on our strengths.

This is what works *for us* in our relationship. It doesn’t mean all relationships should be this way, or that all men should be one way and all women another. Everybody should do what is best for them (and in fact, when I was younger, I would have hated this dynamic as I was very independent and would have been offended at offers to help!)

everyone should do what works for them while you believe in masculine and feminine traits and polarity that is a bunch of made up BS. Not only do you want to act like a child you think like one as well.

PP. So I actually do agree with you that these traits shouldn’t necessarily be labeled masculine/feminine. I think people should be able to do both.

I really think describing things as masculine/feminine is just a way to describe what we find attractive in the opposite sex rather than prescriptions of what men and women should do.

PP mentioned making money, deadlifting, changing tires, etc - all of which are things I do as a woman. But I don’t think many men are going to be attracted to those traits specifically. Whereas I’m highly attracted to those traits in men.

And it’s just an easy, culturally acceptable way to group traits for communication. If you say you want a masculine man or a feminine woman, the other person gets the general idea, rather than you having to list out every single trait.

A different PP. Thanks for confirming - if it just means “what I find attractive” it’s meaningless as a gender label.

Eh, not really. Certain traits cluster more in men and certain traits cluster more in women. Obviously this is culture and regional specific and can very, but the closers do exist and its fine labelling it.

Considering the traits people have listed here (makes money, problem solver, makes dinner, fixes things. caring), I’m going to disagree that it’s not sex-based but both sexes want care and self-sufficiency.

Your husband may not say he wants a woman who deadlifts, but is attracted to the results.

I think men and women are attracted to different results.

Men are attracted to looks (the big booty), but don't really care how a woman gets there or how much she can lift.

Women are attracted to the physical strength aspect but don't care as much about looks.

No, you are all sorts of confused. You are confusing initial attraction with long term relationship attraction. Tons of women are going to disagree with the sentiment that they don’t care about looks. For some reason you just enjoy these labels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

You don't need to necessarily change a tire to be masculine - I dated one man who, if I had a flat, would immediately call roadside assistance to change it and call an Uber so I could get my kids to school. That was extremely masculine and attractive to me. It's more about just being able to take charge and get it handled.

And yes, I *can* do those things myself, but I find it incredibly sexy when a man does them for me. Or at the very least offers to help in some way, even if it's "sounds like a rough day, I'll bring you dinner tonight". The worst is a man who just says "ah that sucks" then moves on.

Although not being able to change a lightbulb doesn't sound great. A man sitting at home in the dark because he doesn't know how to change it isn't very attractive.

Agreed. Problem solving and initiative are masculine and attractive, whether you fix something with your own hands or get it done another way.

These labels are reductive. Plenty of women are problem solvers and have initiative. So they are masculine?

Exactly. What those pps are saying is they want a daddy so they can be little girls

I’m a PP from earlier, and I wouldn’t necessarily say this (although tbh we do call each other daddy/princess during….well, you know).

I own a company, so I am someone who problem solves and takes initiative daily. I think it’s good for women to be able to do that, just like I think it’s good for men to be able to do more feminine things like talk through emotions.

In my relationship, what works for me, is I like a man who can take initiative and solve problems. It makes me feel safe and relaxed, like I have someone on my team.

I also bring a lot of feminine energy to our relationship. I bring the playfulness and emotional safety/empathy, which helps draw him out of his shell, loosen up, and lets him feel safe. His guy friends won’t notice if something is wrong, but I do, and provide a safe place for him to work through it. I often plan our dates and I get dressed up, which makes him feel good. If we’re hosting a party, he’s great at the logistics, I’m great with creating the vibe and making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. It’s not that the other *can’t* do those things - of course I can help with logistics, and he can help create a fun atmosphere - but we work well together when we each focus on our strengths.

This is what works *for us* in our relationship. It doesn’t mean all relationships should be this way, or that all men should be one way and all women another. Everybody should do what is best for them (and in fact, when I was younger, I would have hated this dynamic as I was very independent and would have been offended at offers to help!)

everyone should do what works for them while you believe in masculine and feminine traits and polarity that is a bunch of made up BS. Not only do you want to act like a child you think like one as well.

PP. So I actually do agree with you that these traits shouldn’t necessarily be labeled masculine/feminine. I think people should be able to do both.

I really think describing things as masculine/feminine is just a way to describe what we find attractive in the opposite sex rather than prescriptions of what men and women should do.

PP mentioned making money, deadlifting, changing tires, etc - all of which are things I do as a woman. But I don’t think many men are going to be attracted to those traits specifically. Whereas I’m highly attracted to those traits in men.

And it’s just an easy, culturally acceptable way to group traits for communication. If you say you want a masculine man or a feminine woman, the other person gets the general idea, rather than you having to list out every single trait.

A different PP. Thanks for confirming - if it just means “what I find attractive” it’s meaningless as a gender label.

Eh, not really. Certain traits cluster more in men and certain traits cluster more in women. Obviously this is culture and regional specific and can very, but the closers do exist and its fine labelling it.

No it's stupid . I'm grateful for the labelling though it helps me avoid stupid people.

Shock! People use sorting heuristics.

It is what it and will ever be. Get over it...and yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and don't ask me to change a tire. But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please

You don't need to necessarily change a tire to be masculine - I dated one man who, if I had a flat, would immediately call roadside assistance to change it and call an Uber so I could get my kids to school. That was extremely masculine and attractive to me. It's more about just being able to take charge and get it handled.

And yes, I *can* do those things myself, but I find it incredibly sexy when a man does them for me. Or at the very least offers to help in some way, even if it's "sounds like a rough day, I'll bring you dinner tonight". The worst is a man who just says "ah that sucks" then moves on.

Although not being able to change a lightbulb doesn't sound great. A man sitting at home in the dark because he doesn't know how to change it isn't very attractive.

Agreed. Problem solving and initiative are masculine and attractive, whether you fix something with your own hands or get it done another way.

These labels are reductive. Plenty of women are problem solvers and have initiative. So they are masculine?

Exactly. What those pps are saying is they want a daddy so they can be little girls

I’m a PP from earlier, and I wouldn’t necessarily say this (although tbh we do call each other daddy/princess during….well, you know).

I own a company, so I am someone who problem solves and takes initiative daily. I think it’s good for women to be able to do that, just like I think it’s good for men to be able to do more feminine things like talk through emotions.

In my relationship, what works for me, is I like a man who can take initiative and solve problems. It makes me feel safe and relaxed, like I have someone on my team.

I also bring a lot of feminine energy to our relationship. I bring the playfulness and emotional safety/empathy, which helps draw him out of his shell, loosen up, and lets him feel safe. His guy friends won’t notice if something is wrong, but I do, and provide a safe place for him to work through it. I often plan our dates and I get dressed up, which makes him feel good. If we’re hosting a party, he’s great at the logistics, I’m great with creating the vibe and making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. It’s not that the other *can’t* do those things - of course I can help with logistics, and he can help create a fun atmosphere - but we work well together when we each focus on our strengths.

This is what works *for us* in our relationship. It doesn’t mean all relationships should be this way, or that all men should be one way and all women another. Everybody should do what is best for them (and in fact, when I was younger, I would have hated this dynamic as I was very independent and would have been offended at offers to help!)

everyone should do what works for them while you believe in masculine and feminine traits and polarity that is a bunch of made up BS. Not only do you want to act like a child you think like one as well.

PP. So I actually do agree with you that these traits shouldn’t necessarily be labeled masculine/feminine. I think people should be able to do both.

I really think describing things as masculine/feminine is just a way to describe what we find attractive in the opposite sex rather than prescriptions of what men and women should do.

PP mentioned making money, deadlifting, changing tires, etc - all of which are things I do as a woman. But I don’t think many men are going to be attracted to those traits specifically. Whereas I’m highly attracted to those traits in men.

And it’s just an easy, culturally acceptable way to group traits for communication. If you say you want a masculine man or a feminine woman, the other person gets the general idea, rather than you having to list out every single trait.

A different PP. Thanks for confirming - if it just means “what I find attractive” it’s meaningless as a gender label.

Eh, not really. Certain traits cluster more in men and certain traits cluster more in women. Obviously this is culture and regional specific and can very, but the closers do exist and its fine labelling it.

No it's stupid . I'm grateful for the labelling though it helps me avoid stupid people.

Shock! People use sorting heuristics.

It is what it and will ever be. Get over it...and yourself.

DP. We’re on a public message board. If you post “sorting heuristics” that are illogical, we’re going to tell you. Get over it . . . and yourself.

[Anonymous]

Just pick someone you find physically attractive and go from there, you’ll resent him for innumerable reasons within about eight years, so does it really doesn’t matter if he’s masculine or feminine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just pick someone you find physically attractive and go from there, you’ll resent him for innumerable reasons within about eight years, so does it really doesn’t matter if he’s masculine or feminine?

Maybe that's the trick - figuring out which of the inevitable resentments will make you the least miserable over the next 40 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s no excuse for not being able to fix lots of what’s broke these days, not with YouTube, Google, and Harbor Freight Tools stores close by. So if your guy can’t do anything with his hands, it shouldn’t be too hard to find one who can.

And no, using duct tape to temporarily reattach stuff does not count as fixing anything.

That's true. But most men are honestly better off not fixing anything. 99% of them end up doing a terrible job. Sometimes you are better off calling a professional instead trying to show that you are a "man who can use his hands". My dad is carpenter and he taught me a lot. I have had to help friends and it amazing some of these guys I help them over and over and they still can't do it.

But if you are broke, you are better off doing a half a** job I guess..otherwise just call someone if you can't. There is nothing worse than 1/2 a** job.