Do healthy, masculine men still exist?

[Anonymous]

It seems that everything is on one side of the spectrum or the other - either more feminine men or toxic masculine men. Very little to find in the middle.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My man exists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems that everything is on one side of the spectrum or the other - either more feminine men or toxic masculine men. Very little to find in the middle.

Finding specific people and/or things takes a bit of brains.

You haz brains?

[Anonymous]

If ALL the men aren't measuring up to your expectations, the problem is your expectations, not the men. I feel sure that you have met many men who are neither feminine nor toxic, but they were short or bald or merely middle class.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my DH is one of those. I consider his emotional and intellectual intelligence extremely masculine. He is measured and kind, but also would not hesitate to protect his family if the need arose.

[Anonymous]

What does a masculine man mean to you? Hairy? Works on cars? Thinks being a feminist is only something women are? Where’s your line?

[Anonymous]

Yes. Both my dad and BF are the stereotypical masculine man - providers, protectors, can fix anything, athletic, etc. They are also both chivalrous, emotionally intelligent, kind, gentle, supportive, and loving. Both are secure and have never needed to pick fights or cause drama to prove they’re a man.

The main reason I picked my BF is that he’s the only men I’ve ever met who is at the same level as my dad. I’ve found men who were “masculine” but jerks, and men who were emotionally intelligent and great guys, but not masculine.

But, I didn’t find him until I was 40, so it took 25 years of searching. They’re out there, but they’re rare.

[Anonymous]

I don't find this at all, not my spouse, his colleagues, my friends, my kid's friends' dads. Most men are just normal guys. I'm wondering what your definitions are here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems that everything is on one side of the spectrum or the other - either more feminine men or toxic masculine men. Very little to find in the middle.

Yes, of course. Consider the fact that you are the common denominator in your failure to find one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Both my dad and BF are the stereotypical masculine man - providers, protectors, can fix anything, athletic, etc. They are also both chivalrous, emotionally intelligent, kind, gentle, supportive, and loving. Both are secure and have never needed to pick fights or cause drama to prove they’re a man.

The main reason I picked my BF is that he’s the only men I’ve ever met who is at the same level as my dad. I’ve found men who were “masculine” but jerks, and men who were emotionally intelligent and great guys, but not masculine.

But, I didn’t find him until I was 40, so it took 25 years of searching. They’re out there, but they’re rare.

How did you meet your BF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't find this at all, not my spouse, his colleagues, my friends, my kid's friends' dads. Most men are just normal guys. I'm wondering what your definitions are here.

+1 I ran into quite a few men I'd consider unmasculine in college, but I suspect it was a ploy to get into feminists' beds. Most of the toxic masculinity crowd seems to be 16 and under or online trolls.

In the real world as an adult, I've met mostly normal men who don't go out of their way to stake out An Identity. They have interests and hobbies and favorite movies and mostly want to be considered to be a provider/protector without ever getting into fights or taking on a ward for a spouse. Just people being people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Both my dad and BF are the stereotypical masculine man - providers, protectors, can fix anything, athletic, etc. They are also both chivalrous, emotionally intelligent, kind, gentle, supportive, and loving. Both are secure and have never needed to pick fights or cause drama to prove they’re a man.

The main reason I picked my BF is that he’s the only men I’ve ever met who is at the same level as my dad. I’ve found men who were “masculine” but jerks, and men who were emotionally intelligent and great guys, but not masculine.

But, I didn’t find him until I was 40, so it took 25 years of searching. They’re out there, but they’re rare.

How did you meet your BF?

OLD. I had to go through thousands and thousands of profiles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't find this at all, not my spouse, his colleagues, my friends, my kid's friends' dads. Most men are just normal guys. I'm wondering what your definitions are here.

+1 I ran into quite a few men I'd consider unmasculine in college, but I suspect it was a ploy to get into feminists' beds. Most of the toxic masculinity crowd seems to be 16 and under or online trolls.

In the real world as an adult, I've met mostly normal men who don't go out of their way to stake out An Identity. They have interests and hobbies and favorite movies and mostly want to be considered to be a provider/protector without ever getting into fights or taking on a ward for a spouse. Just people being people.

I don't think most men even really are into the protector/provider dynamic. They just want to live their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't find this at all, not my spouse, his colleagues, my friends, my kid's friends' dads. Most men are just normal guys. I'm wondering what your definitions are here.

+1 I ran into quite a few men I'd consider unmasculine in college, but I suspect it was a ploy to get into feminists' beds. Most of the toxic masculinity crowd seems to be 16 and under or online trolls.

In the real world as an adult, I've met mostly normal men who don't go out of their way to stake out An Identity. They have interests and hobbies and favorite movies and mostly want to be considered to be a provider/protector without ever getting into fights or taking on a ward for a spouse. Just people being people.

I don't think most men even really are into the protector/provider dynamic. They just want to live their lives.

I don't think so. It is in the genes.

[Anonymous]

We exist...we're just off the market.