Reply to Do healthy, masculine men still exist?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can someone define masculine man? I can't change a lightbulb and [b]don't ask me to change a tire.[/b] But I could probably solve a partial differential equation in my head. I know how to make money and I have more than we will ever need for the next 40+ years. I just need to kiss my wife and when i touch her p**y she is already wet.

Is a masculine man a man who can change a tire, deadlift 325 lbs? Definition please[/quote]

You don't need to necessarily change a tire to be masculine - I dated one man who, if I had a flat, would immediately call roadside assistance to change it and call an Uber so I could get my kids to school. That was extremely masculine and attractive to me. It's more about just being able to take charge and get it handled.

And yes, I *can* do those things myself, but I find it incredibly sexy when a man does them for me. Or at the very least offers to help in some way, even if it's "sounds like a rough day, I'll bring you dinner tonight". The worst is a man who just says "ah that sucks" then moves on.

Although not being able to change a lightbulb doesn't sound great. A man sitting at home in the dark because he doesn't know how to change it isn't very attractive.[/quote]

Agreed. Problem solving and initiative are masculine and attractive, whether you fix something with your own hands or get it done another way. [/quote]

These labels are reductive. Plenty of women are problem solvers and have initiative. So they are masculine?[/quote]

Exactly. What those pps are saying is they want a daddy so they can be  little girls [/quote]

I’m a PP from earlier, and I wouldn’t necessarily say this (although tbh we do call each other daddy/princess during….well, you know).

I own a company, so I am someone who problem solves and takes initiative daily. I think it’s good for women to be able to do that, just like I think it’s good for men to be able to do more feminine things like talk through emotions.

In my relationship, what works for me, is I like a man who can take initiative and solve problems. It makes me feel safe and relaxed, like I have someone on my team.

I also bring a lot of feminine energy to our relationship. I bring the playfulness and emotional safety/empathy, which helps draw him out of his shell, loosen up, and lets him feel safe. His guy friends won’t notice if something is wrong, but I do, and provide a safe place for him to work through it. I often plan our dates and I get dressed up, which makes him feel good. If we’re hosting a party, he’s great at the logistics, I’m great with creating the vibe and making sure everyone feels welcome and at ease. It’s not that the other *can’t* do those things - of course I can help with logistics, and he can help create a fun atmosphere - but we work well together when we each focus on our strengths.

This is what works *for us* in our relationship. It doesn’t mean all relationships should be this way, or that all men should be one way and all women another. Everybody should do what is best for them (and in fact, when I was younger, I would have hated this dynamic as I was very independent and would have been offended at offers to help!)[/quote]

everyone should do what works for them while you believe in masculine and feminine traits and polarity that is a bunch of made up BS.  Not only do you want to act like a child you think like one as well.[/quote]

PP. So I actually do agree with you that these traits shouldn’t necessarily be labeled masculine/feminine. I think people should be able to do both.

I really think describing things as masculine/feminine is just a way to describe what we find attractive in the opposite sex rather than prescriptions of what men and women should do.

PP mentioned making money, deadlifting, changing tires, etc - all of which are things I do as a woman. But I don’t think many men are going to be attracted to those traits specifically. Whereas I’m highly attracted to those traits in men.

And it’s just an easy, culturally acceptable way to group traits for communication. If you say you want a masculine man or a feminine woman, the other person gets the general idea, rather than you having to list out every single trait. [/quote]

A different PP. Thanks for confirming - if it just means “what I find attractive” it’s meaningless as a gender label.[/quote]

Eh, not really. Certain traits cluster more in men and certain traits cluster more in women. Obviously this is culture and regional specific and can very, but the closers do exist and its fine labelling it. [/quote]

No it's stupid . I'm  grateful for the labelling though it helps me avoid stupid people.[/quote]

Shock! People use sorting heuristics.

It is what it and will ever be. Get over it...and yourself. [/quote]

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