Son was called a monkey by a Hispanic child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op here - thanks everyone- I’ll be reporting it to the school for sure.

This is just so unnecessary.

when i say report / I mean education - not punishment. I think the school is better equipped to handle this because they model DEI very well.

French PP back after finishing reading all comments: you are 100% right OP. Reporting the event for education, not punishment. That’s what matters, the kid / family need to hear that it is not ok, that’s all but thats important. And yes it may be a bit stressful for the 9 year old to be called into the principal’s office to be told gently but firmly that we don’t use racial slurs here, but hopeful That’s precisely the type of safe stress that will have a long term impact. And knowing the schools here, I cannot imagine the consequences will be stronger than that for a one time offense …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I’m just collecting advice - this all came up because I was listening to
npr in the background and they were covering the Kansas young republicans and they mentioned that one person referred to black people as monkeys. My son goes “‘ mom xyz called me a monkey”. I said “ really? What do you do?” He goes “ nothing. I just ignored him”

The lesson is that "people of color", that is, descendants of recent immigrants from non-white countries, do not have a natural affinity to African Americans, despite popular rhetoric. They are only "of color" when convenient, but otherwise, seeking white-adjacency.

French person here who is very familiar with the “monkey” calls to taunt black people (from all countries, including black South Americans) at soccer games. There is absolutely nothing innocent and acceptable about this. The 9 year old kid may not intend to be mean to your child and may like your child and he is just repeating what he hears at home or ( if I am thinking as generously as possible) simply on TV while watching soccer games. But he 100% needs to be educated.

The PP who gave cultural context is correct that this type of casual racism it is more frequent and pervasive in the Latin world (compared to DC area because I wouldn’t brag about higher standards in some other parts of the US..). But is completely wrong to think it is a reason to let it slide. On the contrary, it is an opportunity to educate this family about our values here. You wouldn’t let the use of the n word slide. Don’t let monkey slide either.

My reco is to stay calm and positive but firm and talk to the school. “I heard my child was called Monkey by X. What can you do to explain that child and his family that this is not acceptable?”. The school, the kid and the family need to know.

The “French poster” who feels that she has to open every post by telling us that she’s French really cracks me up. Being French doesn’t make you an expert on every topic. The vast majority of the posters on this thread haven’t felt the need to identify their race or ethnicity because it’s not necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

I’m sorry, but I’m Latina and calling somebody a mono is very much a racial slur and an insult. We’re not stupid and naïve. And yes, we have crazy nicknames for each other, mono is not one of them.

You must not live in Latin America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is in Montgomery county, 4th grade, and the school is very diverse. He has a diverse friend group as well ( white, southeast Asian, european , and African American). He mentioned his classmate called him a monkey - I know the child - his family is from El Salvador ( we learned this in world culture day). I asked my son what he did/said. He claims he just ignored him. We are playing with playdoh at the moment, I’m currently just in listening mode.

That's a long message to write while playing with Play-Doh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely tell the teacher. Listening to your son without reacting would be so hard for me. I’d be so angry. But good for you. Anyway, I’m sorry America sucks wrt racism.

It’s worse everywhere else in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I’m just collecting advice - this all came up because I was listening to
npr in the background and they were covering the Kansas young republicans and they mentioned that one person referred to black people as monkeys. My son goes “‘ mom xyz called me a monkey”. I said “ really? What do you do?” He goes “ nothing. I just ignored him”

Good job. Problem solved. Case closed. Your tough cookie survived the verbal assault. Life goes on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is in Montgomery county, 4th grade, and the school is very diverse. He has a diverse friend group as well ( white, southeast Asian, european , and African American). He mentioned his classmate called him a monkey - I know the child - his family is from El Salvador ( we learned this in world culture day). I asked my son what he did/said. He claims he just ignored him. We are playing with playdoh at the moment, I’m currently just in listening mode.

I call my own white kids monkeys!! They climb all over everything. Ask for more context before jumping to conclusions

[Anonymous]

No one is arguing whether it is offensive to refer to an African-American as a monkey. That’s a given. All we are talking about here is how to deal with it when it comes out of the mouth of a 9 year old Salvadoran.

I am unwilling to accept at face value that the boy did this to be hurtful, mean or racist. I also highly doubt that he is routinely running around a “very diverse” Montgomery County public school referring to his black classmates as monkeys. You have to think that if he were doing he already would have been reprimanded for it—or gotten his ass kicked—and that’s why I am thinking this is either a one off or is something being said without any kind of ill intent. The boy simply doesn’t know any better just needs to be talked to. But it needs to be gentle.

I remember years ago sitting around our dinner table and one of my young kids talking about being “gypped.” She had no idea it was a pejorative term and was horrified to have used the word after I gently explained it to her. I didn’t assume she was a racist when she said it though. We are talking about kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I’m just collecting advice - this all came up because I was listening to
npr in the background and they were covering the Kansas young republicans and they mentioned that one person referred to black people as monkeys. My son goes “‘ mom xyz called me a monkey”. I said “ really? What do you do?” He goes “ nothing. I just ignored him”

Good job. Problem solved. Case closed. Your tough cookie survived the verbal assault. Life goes on.

Not helpful.

[Anonymous]

I would let the teacher know. She can talk the boy and figure out what happened and educate him. What more is there to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely tell the teacher. Listening to your son without reacting would be so hard for me. I’d be so angry. But good for you. Anyway, I’m sorry America sucks wrt racism.

NP... actually, the US, such as it is right now, is much more aware of racism and cultural sensitivies than other countries, especially in MoCo.

-Immigrant and not a white person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, I’m not saying it’s great for a Latino kid to call a black kid a monkey. I just wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that the kid meant it in an insulting or racist way. There’s a real possibility—a likelihood, in fact—that the kid didn’t make any connection between “monkey”
and OP’s son’s race.

I’m just not ready to crucify a 9 year old from a different culture over this. My suggestion would be to explain to your son that his friend likely doesn’t know any better and encourage him to talk to his friend about it directly. I don’t think a teacher needs to be involved.

You are a tool. F857 you.
WHAT OTHER EXPLANATION COULD IT BE?

If he called him a llama face sure. But you good and damn well what monkey refers to. Cultural or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is in Montgomery county, 4th grade, and the school is very diverse. He has a diverse friend group as well ( white, southeast Asian, european , and African American). He mentioned his classmate called him a monkey - I know the child - his family is from El Salvador ( we learned this in world culture day). I asked my son what he did/said. He claims he just ignored him. We are playing with playdoh at the moment, I’m currently just in listening mode.

That's a long message to write while playing with Play-Doh.

I too have a 4th grader and play dough seems like something preschoolers play with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, I’m not saying it’s great for a Latino kid to call a black kid a monkey. I just wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that the kid meant it in an insulting or racist way. There’s a real possibility—a likelihood, in fact—that the kid didn’t make any connection between “monkey”
and OP’s son’s race.

I’m just not ready to crucify a 9 year old from a different culture over this. My suggestion would be to explain to your son that his friend likely doesn’t know any better and encourage him to talk to his friend about it directly. I don’t think a teacher needs to be involved.

You are a tool. F857 you.
WHAT OTHER EXPLANATION COULD IT BE?

If he called him a llama face sure. But you good and damn well what monkey refers to. Cultural or not.

NP I clearly must be stupid but I haven’t heard blacks called monkey. I’ve heard Asians call other Asians monkeys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

I’m sorry, but I’m Latina and calling somebody a mono is very much a racial slur and an insult. We’re not stupid and naïve. And yes, we have crazy nicknames for each other, mono is not one of them.

You must not live in Latin America.

No. I live in Montgomery County. Mono is what racist Latinos use towards Black people.

Op, you should contact the teacher and let them know what happened.