Son was called a monkey by a Hispanic child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[list]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

I am not asking you to argue, I am informing you and others. Just because a group chuckles at casual racism doesn't mean that what it happening is not racism and harmful. "Everyone does it" and "It is a part of our culture" is not a defense.

You just don’t get it. For starters, there’s rarely “chuckling” involved. It’s not really meant to be funny.

No, your argument of well this is just what hispanics do, it's part of their culture, and we just have to accept it, is offensive. Just because Hispanics are becoming a significant majority, doesn't mean that we have to just say ok to all parts of hispanic culture.

You’re missing the point again. I’m not saying that we should just accept it because it’s what they do. I’m saying that because it’s what’s they do that you shouldn’t immediately get all up in arms about it and assume bad intent. There’s a difference.

This doesn't make any sense. If this made sense, we could use this logic to explain away anything anyone does bad. He beats his wife, he doesn't have bad intent, that is just what is done in his village. She cheats on exams, she doesn't have bad intent, that is just what is done in her country...on and on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, I’m not saying it’s great for a Latino kid to call a black kid a monkey. I just wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that the kid meant it in an insulting or racist way. There’s a real possibility—a likelihood, in fact—that the kid didn’t make any connection between “monkey”
and OP’s son’s race.

I’m just not ready to crucify a 9 year old from a different culture over this. My suggestion would be to explain to your son that his friend likely doesn’t know any better and encourage him to talk to his friend about it directly. I don’t think a teacher needs to be involved.

Maybe the "cuture" the kid is coming from is the issue?

You’re assuming the kid called the other kid a monkey because he’d black and that hasn’t been established. Sometimes monkey is just a monkey. We’re talking about kids here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, I’m not saying it’s great for a Latino kid to call a black kid a monkey. I just wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that the kid meant it in an insulting or racist way. There’s a real possibility—a likelihood, in fact—that the kid didn’t make any connection between “monkey”
and OP’s son’s race.

I’m just not ready to crucify a 9 year old from a different culture over this. My suggestion would be to explain to your son that his friend likely doesn’t know any better and encourage him to talk to his friend about it directly. I don’t think a teacher needs to be involved.

Maybe the "cuture" the kid is coming from is the issue?

You’re assuming the kid called the other kid a monkey because he’d black and that hasn’t been established. Sometimes monkey is just a monkey. We’re talking about kids here.

We were all kids once and we all know what kids are capable of.
Well we are in the country in which we call school or church shooters "kids" if they are in their early 20s, but only if they are white.

[Anonymous]

op here - thanks everyone- I’ll be reporting it to the school for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[list]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

I am not asking you to argue, I am informing you and others. Just because a group chuckles at casual racism doesn't mean that what it happening is not racism and harmful. "Everyone does it" and "It is a part of our culture" is not a defense.

You just don’t get it. For starters, there’s rarely “chuckling” involved. It’s not really meant to be funny.

No, your argument of well this is just what hispanics do, it's part of their culture, and we just have to accept it, is offensive. Just because Hispanics are becoming a significant majority, doesn't mean that we have to just say ok to all parts of hispanic culture.

You’re missing the point again. I’m not saying that we should just accept it because it’s what they do. I’m saying that because it’s what’s they do that you shouldn’t immediately get all up in arms about it and assume bad intent. There’s a difference.

This doesn't make any sense. If this made sense, we could use this logic to explain away anything anyone does bad. He beats his wife, he doesn't have bad intent, that is just what is done in his village. She cheats on exams, she doesn't have bad intent, that is just what is done in her country...on and on.

Oh please. A 9 year old called another 9 year old a monkey. We don’t know if it’s because of race. He might call an Asian kid a monkey. Who the hell knows. Apparently OP’s son himself didn’t think anything of it until he heard it on TV. It’s not like he came home and said “mom, a friend made a racist comment to me today.”’

This isn’t beating you wife and excusing it because in your culture you beat your wife. That’s ridiculous. It’s a 9 year old boy who maybe can use a little help.

OP is approaching this much more intelligently and maturely than many of the posters, and it’s her kid. Kudos,’OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, I’m not saying it’s great for a Latino kid to call a black kid a monkey. I just wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that the kid meant it in an insulting or racist way. There’s a real possibility—a likelihood, in fact—that the kid didn’t make any connection between “monkey”
and OP’s son’s race.

I’m just not ready to crucify a 9 year old from a different culture over this. My suggestion would be to explain to your son that his friend likely doesn’t know any better and encourage him to talk to his friend about it directly. I don’t think a teacher needs to be involved.

Maybe the "cuture" the kid is coming from is the issue?

You’re assuming the kid called the other kid a monkey because he’d black and that hasn’t been established. Sometimes monkey is just a monkey. We’re talking about kids here.

We were all kids once and we all know what kids are capable of.
Well we are in the country in which we call school or church shooters "kids" if they are in their early 20s, but only if they are white.

He’s not a school shooter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op here - thanks everyone- I’ll be reporting it to the school for sure.

This is just so unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

I would err on the side of ignorance and if this kid is a friend to tell him "hey, in this country it's REALLY offensive and mean to call someone that. you can't do that. people will think you're a racist."

There are things that are okay in some countries and not in others. Words carry different meanings and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[list]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

I am not asking you to argue, I am informing you and others. Just because a group chuckles at casual racism doesn't mean that what it happening is not racism and harmful. "Everyone does it" and "It is a part of our culture" is not a defense.

You just don’t get it. For starters, there’s rarely “chuckling” involved. It’s not really meant to be funny.

No, your argument of well this is just what hispanics do, it's part of their culture, and we just have to accept it, is offensive. Just because Hispanics are becoming a significant majority, doesn't mean that we have to just say ok to all parts of hispanic culture.

You’re missing the point again. I’m not saying that we should just accept it because it’s what they do. I’m saying that because it’s what’s they do that you shouldn’t immediately get all up in arms about it and assume bad intent. There’s a difference.

This doesn't make any sense. If this made sense, we could use this logic to explain away anything anyone does bad. He beats his wife, he doesn't have bad intent, that is just what is done in his village. She cheats on exams, she doesn't have bad intent, that is just what is done in her country...on and on.

Oh please. A 9 year old called another 9 year old a monkey. We don’t know if it’s because of race. He might call an Asian kid a monkey. Who the hell knows. Apparently OP’s son himself didn’t think anything of it until he heard it on TV. It’s not like he came home and said “mom, a friend made a racist comment to me today.”’

This isn’t beating you wife and excusing it because in your culture you beat your wife. That’s ridiculous. It’s a 9 year old boy who maybe can use a little help.

OP is approaching this much more intelligently and maturely than many of the posters, and it’s her kid. Kudos,’OP.

I am more concerned about the feelings of and justice for the little 9 year old AA boy. Once the other little boy is spoken to about his wrongdoing I bet he won't call little black boys "monkeys" again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would err on the side of ignorance and if this kid is a friend to tell him "hey, in this country it's REALLY offensive and mean to call someone that. you can't do that. people will think you're a racist."

There are things that are okay in some countries and not in others. Words carry different meanings and all.

Yeah, it is ok in other countries because they struggle with racism. We don't need to practice cultural sensitivity in all areas with immigrants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would err on the side of ignorance and if this kid is a friend to tell him "hey, in this country it's REALLY offensive and mean to call someone that. you can't do that. people will think you're a racist."

There are things that are okay in some countries and not in others. Words carry different meanings and all.

This is good advice. The boy is OP’s son’s friend. And he’s 9. Why assume the worst? Has it occurred either to OP or any of the outraged posters that maybe the son doesn’t want him to be reported?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[list]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

I am not asking you to argue, I am informing you and others. Just because a group chuckles at casual racism doesn't mean that what it happening is not racism and harmful. "Everyone does it" and "It is a part of our culture" is not a defense.

You just don’t get it. For starters, there’s rarely “chuckling” involved. It’s not really meant to be funny.

No, your argument of well this is just what hispanics do, it's part of their culture, and we just have to accept it, is offensive. Just because Hispanics are becoming a significant majority, doesn't mean that we have to just say ok to all parts of hispanic culture.

You’re missing the point again. I’m not saying that we should just accept it because it’s what they do. I’m saying that because it’s what’s they do that you shouldn’t immediately get all up in arms about it and assume bad intent. There’s a difference.

This doesn't make any sense. If this made sense, we could use this logic to explain away anything anyone does bad. He beats his wife, he doesn't have bad intent, that is just what is done in his village. She cheats on exams, she doesn't have bad intent, that is just what is done in her country...on and on.

Oh please. A 9 year old called another 9 year old a monkey. We don’t know if it’s because of race. He might call an Asian kid a monkey. Who the hell knows. Apparently OP’s son himself didn’t think anything of it until he heard it on TV. It’s not like he came home and said “mom, a friend made a racist comment to me today.”’

This isn’t beating you wife and excusing it because in your culture you beat your wife. That’s ridiculous. It’s a 9 year old boy who maybe can use a little help.

OP is approaching this much more intelligently and maturely than many of the posters, and it’s her kid. Kudos,’OP.

I am more concerned about the feelings of and justice for the little 9 year old AA boy. Once the other little boy is spoken to about his wrongdoing I bet he won't call little black boys "monkeys" again.

Again we don’t even know whether OP’s son gave it a second thought or even knew it was racially offensive before hearing it on NPR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would err on the side of ignorance and if this kid is a friend to tell him "hey, in this country it's REALLY offensive and mean to call someone that. you can't do that. people will think you're a racist."

There are things that are okay in some countries and not in others. Words carry different meanings and all.

Yeah, it is ok in other countries because they struggle with racism. We don't need to practice cultural sensitivity in all areas with immigrants.

Lol and we don’t “struggle” with racism??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would err on the side of ignorance and if this kid is a friend to tell him "hey, in this country it's REALLY offensive and mean to call someone that. you can't do that. people will think you're a racist."

There are things that are okay in some countries and not in others. Words carry different meanings and all.

Yeah, it is ok in other countries because they struggle with racism. We don't need to practice cultural sensitivity in all areas with immigrants.

Look, I believe in educating offensiveness born of ignorance. If the parents casually say it at home, and the kid just casually said it, then OP's son educating him seems reasonable. If AFTER that the kid says it again, THEN I'd fully support reporting it to the teacher. I am saying this as someone who is a minority and has dealt with people saying offensive things to me and/or asking offensive questions and having to decide when to be offended and when to answer in an effort to educate. The child is in 4th grade - I'd like to err on the side of educating. OP is free to handle it how she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would err on the side of ignorance and if this kid is a friend to tell him "hey, in this country it's REALLY offensive and mean to call someone that. you can't do that. people will think you're a racist."

There are things that are okay in some countries and not in others. Words carry different meanings and all.

This is good advice. The boy is OP’s son’s friend. And he’s 9. Why assume the worst? Has it occurred either to OP or any of the outraged posters that maybe the son doesn’t want him to be reported?

Where did OP say he was her son’s friend? She described him as a classmate.