Son was called a monkey by a Hispanic child

[Anonymous]

My son is in Montgomery county, 4th grade, and the school is very diverse. He has a diverse friend group as well ( white, southeast Asian, european , and African American). He mentioned his classmate called him a monkey - I know the child - his family is from El Salvador ( we learned this in world culture day). I asked my son what he did/said. He claims he just ignored him. We are playing with playdoh at the moment, I’m currently just in listening mode.

[Anonymous]

Sorry I submitted too early. Do DCUMers have any advice on how I should handle this? Any advice on how I can help my son handle this?

[Anonymous]

Children call each other things all the time , what makes you think this was racially based? Why do you mention the other child’s race but not your sons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children call each other things all the time , what makes you think this was racially based? Why do you mention the other child’s race but not your sons?

I’m sorry - I meant to add my son is African American.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Children call each other things all the time , what makes you think this was racially based? Why do you mention the other child’s race but not your sons?

I’m sorry - I meant to add my son is African American.

I see. Never mind I will retract my questions. I’m sorry this happened to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Children call each other things all the time , what makes you think this was racially based? Why do you mention the other child’s race but not your sons?

I’m sorry - I meant to add my son is African American.

I see. Never mind I will retract my questions. I’m sorry this happened to him.

yea— I’m trying to figure out how to navigate this.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

I appreciate this context. I didn’t know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

[Anonymous]

I would definitely tell the teacher. Listening to your son without reacting would be so hard for me. I’d be so angry. But good for you. Anyway, I’m sorry America sucks wrt racism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

I agree with this being accurate - it IS different how other cultures talk about race, weight etc. East Asians have no problem for example calling someone fat - even their own kids, whereas amongst Americans that's not done . That being said this child is in the US now and needs to recognize that he can't be doing this in public even if that's how they talk at home. So IDK maybe tell the teacher - maybe the whole class needs some gentle education on the fact that you don't mock unchangeable things about people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

I am not asking you to argue, I am informing you and others. Just because a group chuckles at casual racism doesn't mean that what it happening is not racism and harmful. "Everyone does it" and "It is a part of our culture" is not a defense.

[Anonymous]

Op here - I’m just collecting advice - this all came up because I was listening to
npr in the background and they were covering the Kansas young republicans and they mentioned that one person referred to black people as monkeys. My son goes “‘ mom xyz called me a monkey”. I said “ really? What do you do?” He goes “ nothing. I just ignored him”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

I agree with this being accurate - it IS different how other cultures talk about race, weight etc. East Asians have no problem for example calling someone fat - even their own kids, whereas amongst Americans that's not done . That being said this child is in the US now and needs to recognize that he can't be doing this in public even if that's how they talk at home. So IDK maybe tell the teacher - maybe the whole class needs some gentle education on the fact that you don't mock unchangeable things about people?

Calling someone a "monkey" does not fall into this category, as no human looks truly like a monkey. Calling someone a money is always a racial slur. Non-white immigrants can't just easily explain away any racism among them by saying this just what we do, it is our culture.