Explain why this is a Boomer thing?

[Anonymous]

OP, how often are these "emergencies" ? That's really important. And do you realize that: you ask, and she thinks out loud, saying what comes to mind, "I have Canasta at 3." Maybe that's not saying, "no", instead it's her way of thinking through her day. You just happen to be hearing it. Certainly don't take offense. She is allowed to turn things over in her mind. Give her a minute. She's not saying an immediate "no", she's working through it.

Maybe think about your language too Op, and whether you communicate that it's a rare and true (?) emergency.

Op, what constitutes a true emergency for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok sociologists, Explain Boomer Grandparenting to me. What happened in Boomer history that made this a thing?

I am elder millennial former latch key kid. My Boomer parents preached raising an independent kid as their #1 value for parenting.

Fast forward: They have close to zero interest in grand parenting. Ask them to help out in an emergency, Boomer mom pulls out a calendar and say “well, we have Canasta at 3. How about three weeks from now?”

This creator who does Boomer Mom
Videos sums it up perfect. It’s a continuous guilt trip, not wanting to grandparent, and always being too busy. Also lots of double speak that makes you toss up your hands and say “why did I even bother.”

So, what in Boomer history influenced this parenting style?

https://www.tiktok.com/@callmekristenmarie/video/7476110074436472095

They have money and health care. They don't need you.

[Anonymous]

I have to say a lot of it is the inconsistency-I spent weeks at a time at my grandparents house in the country as a child (during summer.) when I or one of my siblings had chicken pox or strep throat and needed to be out of school more than one day my grandparents came up up watch us.

It just seems strange to have people who relied on that kind of help to have no recollection of that at all when their turn comes around, apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok sociologists, Explain Boomer Grandparenting to me. What happened in Boomer history that made this a thing?

I am elder millennial former latch key kid. My Boomer parents preached raising an independent kid as their #1 value for parenting.

Fast forward: They have close to zero interest in grand parenting. Ask them to help out in an emergency, Boomer mom pulls out a calendar and say “well, we have Canasta at 3. How about three weeks from now?”

This creator who does Boomer Mom
Videos sums it up perfect. It’s a continuous guilt trip, not wanting to grandparent, and always being too busy. Also lots of double speak that makes you toss up your hands and say “why did I even bother.”

So, what in Boomer history influenced this parenting style?

https://www.tiktok.com/@callmekristenmarie/video/7476110074436472095

I agree with the other posters that it sounds consistent.

Just remember this when it is time for them to go into a home. You don't owe them anything.

As if she could offer something.

She seems unable to manage her own family. How do you imagine she is going to support her aging parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok sociologists, Explain Boomer Grandparenting to me. What happened in Boomer history that made this a thing?

I am elder millennial former latch key kid. My Boomer parents preached raising an independent kid as their #1 value for parenting.

Fast forward: They have close to zero interest in grand parenting. Ask them to help out in an emergency, Boomer mom pulls out a calendar and say “well, we have Canasta at 3. How about three weeks from now?”

This creator who does Boomer Mom
Videos sums it up perfect. It’s a continuous guilt trip, not wanting to grandparent, and always being too busy. Also lots of double speak that makes you toss up your hands and say “why did I even bother.”

So, what in Boomer history influenced this parenting style?

https://www.tiktok.com/@callmekristenmarie/video/7476110074436472095

That content developer is so wrong, and apparently just dumb, too. She sends up the wrong generation, and it's pathetic. This isn't Boomer. It's the generation before, the Boomer's parents.

She lives in the midwest, she's satirizing regional white uneducated people, but not generally a Boomer. It's so off it's stunning. And it's super tiresome because she has plenty of company online, but it's all not at all factual. She paints them as computer illiterate, scatterbrained, judgemental against living together out of wedlock, tattoo phobic, alternate lifestyle phobic, insular, conservative, blah blah, blah. That is not Boomer- Boomers started all that in society. If it’s at all Boomer, it might have to do with the oldest Boomers if they are still around..in their late 70s, 80s. I find her very annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents are young boomers and they really struggle with being super critical. They also take any decisions that make that are different than what they chose as criticism.

For instance, my mom was a SAHM and my father was the breadwinner who never did any childcare or cooking. I have a big job and split household duties 50/50 with my DH. My mom routinely tells me that I'm mistreating my kids because I don't stay home and that they wouldn't have problems if I didn't work. She also thinks I mistreat my DH because he cooks and helps with the kids. I got negative comments from her nearly every time we spoke for 10 years before I finally mostly ended contact.

As another instance, my mom didn't like my DD's name because it was the same as a teacher she didn't like in elementary school. I'd never heard that story and had no idea when we picked the name. My mom refused to use the name for the first three years of my DD's life and only called her "Cookie." It was obnoxious.

As another example, I got a PhD in the hard sciences and worked really hard for it. My father tells everyone it's not impressive because I'm not a "real doctor." He even told it to my Nobel Prize winning PhD advisor on my graduation day when my advisor was trying to tell him about my accomplishments.

I could go on, but it's endless. They like my kids, but are so super critical of me we don't see them much anymore. They never did any childcare and were never asked to do so. I do worry that they'll start being just as critical of my kids as they are of me and I know that would really hurt them. So now we just don't see or talk to them.

Either your parents are not young Boomers or they are under educated. This does not add up. We were the ones in the workforce.

[Anonymous]

My Boomer friends are in their kid's houses all the time. Childcare, house maintenance, help with money, vacations, everything. All of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok sociologists, Explain Boomer Grandparenting to me. What happened in Boomer history that made this a thing?

I am elder millennial former latch key kid. My Boomer parents preached raising an independent kid as their #1 value for parenting.

Fast forward: They have close to zero interest in grand parenting. Ask them to help out in an emergency, Boomer mom pulls out a calendar and say “well, we have Canasta at 3. How about three weeks from now?”

This creator who does Boomer Mom
Videos sums it up perfect. It’s a continuous guilt trip, not wanting to grandparent, and always being too busy. Also lots of double speak that makes you toss up your hands and say “why did I even bother.”

So, what in Boomer history influenced this parenting style?

https://www.tiktok.com/@callmekristenmarie/video/7476110074436472095

What happened? These three things:

1. They waited longer to have kids, you waited longer to have kids. My grandma was 56 when I was born, my mom was 52 when my oldest was born. But now people are becoming first time grandparents well into their 70s

2. They worked full time until 65+, they raised their kids while working full time and are now exhausted.

3. Because of all that work, older women feel entitled to be full humans now instead of free servants for other people. Be honest, when you say “boomer parents” you actually mean “boomer moms”, right? You don’t expect your dad to cook and clean, and babysit for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents are young boomers and they really struggle with being super critical. They also take any decisions that make that are different than what they chose as criticism.

For instance, my mom was a SAHM and my father was the breadwinner who never did any childcare or cooking. I have a big job and split household duties 50/50 with my DH. My mom routinely tells me that I'm mistreating my kids because I don't stay home and that they wouldn't have problems if I didn't work. She also thinks I mistreat my DH because he cooks and helps with the kids. I got negative comments from her nearly every time we spoke for 10 years before I finally mostly ended contact.

As another instance, my mom didn't like my DD's name because it was the same as a teacher she didn't like in elementary school. I'd never heard that story and had no idea when we picked the name. My mom refused to use the name for the first three years of my DD's life and only called her "Cookie." It was obnoxious.

As another example, I got a PhD in the hard sciences and worked really hard for it. My father tells everyone it's not impressive because I'm not a "real doctor." He even told it to my Nobel Prize winning PhD advisor on my graduation day when my advisor was trying to tell him about my accomplishments.

I could go on, but it's endless. They like my kids, but are so super critical of me we don't see them much anymore. They never did any childcare and were never asked to do so. I do worry that they'll start being just as critical of my kids as they are of me and I know that would really hurt them. So now we just don't see or talk to them.

Either your parents are not young Boomers or they are under educated. This does not add up. We were the ones in the workforce.

I think this a cultural thing and not age related for this PP. The parents are probably immigrants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That you had kids late, and now they're very old, and are rigid and inflexible in a way they wouldn't have been, were they in their 50s.

Yes. I’m 40, had my first at 27 when my parents were 57 and 59. They were completely different with my first 3 kids because they were more energetic. My mom was so quick to jump on a plane or drive to pitch in. Laundry, cleaning, babysitting. Now they are old. They want to watch YouTube videos with my 2 and 4 year old, not go to the petting zoo or museums like they did with my older 3.

5 kids is a lot and they are not that old.

Pp here - tell me about it! The last one was thanks to lots of Lone Pine seltzers and sweet nothings from my very attractive husband on my 37th bday.

[Anonymous]

Your parents probably didn’t want to have kids in the first place, but they had them because it was what was done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok sociologists, Explain Boomer Grandparenting to me. What happened in Boomer history that made this a thing?

I am elder millennial former latch key kid. My Boomer parents preached raising an independent kid as their #1 value for parenting.

Fast forward: They have close to zero interest in grand parenting. Ask them to help out in an emergency, Boomer mom pulls out a calendar and say “well, we have Canasta at 3. How about three weeks from now?”

This creator who does Boomer Mom
Videos sums it up perfect. It’s a continuous guilt trip, not wanting to grandparent, and always being too busy. Also lots of double speak that makes you toss up your hands and say “why did I even bother.”

So, what in Boomer history influenced this parenting style?

https://www.tiktok.com/@callmekristenmarie/video/7476110074436472095

What happened? These three things:

1. They waited longer to have kids, you waited longer to have kids. My grandma was 56 when I was born, my mom was 52 when my oldest was born. But now people are becoming first time grandparents well into their 70s

2. They worked full time until 65+, they raised their kids while working full time and are now exhausted.

3. Because of all that work, older women feel entitled to be full humans now instead of free servants for other people. Be honest, when you say “boomer parents” you actually mean “boomer moms”, right? You don’t expect your dad to cook and clean, and babysit for you.

My dad is silent generation, and not only did he cook, clean, and babysit when I was a kid, he does it now for the grandkids. Boomer generation is such a waste of space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok sociologists, Explain Boomer Grandparenting to me. What happened in Boomer history that made this a thing?

I am elder millennial former latch key kid. My Boomer parents preached raising an independent kid as their #1 value for parenting.

Fast forward: They have close to zero interest in grand parenting. Ask them to help out in an emergency, Boomer mom pulls out a calendar and say “well, we have Canasta at 3. How about three weeks from now?”

This creator who does Boomer Mom
Videos sums it up perfect. It’s a continuous guilt trip, not wanting to grandparent, and always being too busy. Also lots of double speak that makes you toss up your hands and say “why did I even bother.”

So, what in Boomer history influenced this parenting style?

https://www.tiktok.com/@callmekristenmarie/video/7476110074436472095

What happened? These three things:

1. They waited longer to have kids, you waited longer to have kids. My grandma was 56 when I was born, my mom was 52 when my oldest was born. But now people are becoming first time grandparents well into their 70s

2. They worked full time until 65+, they raised their kids while working full time and are now exhausted.

3. Because of all that work, older women feel entitled to be full humans now instead of free servants for other people. Be honest, when you say “boomer parents” you actually mean “boomer moms”, right? You don’t expect your dad to cook and clean, and babysit for you.

My dad is silent generation, and not only did he cook, clean, and babysit when I was a kid, he does it now for the grandkids. Boomer generation is such a waste of space.

PP. My dad was silent generation. He never cleaned. He knew how to cook, but created such a mess while doing it that my mom would only let him cook in dire circumstances. He did take me to movies, park, etc. And he was handy around the house. All that made him a father and husband of the year in my parents’ circle because other men did even less at home. As a grandpa, he would come over and read to my kids or play chess with them, but no independent babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another idiot post attempting to attribute one or two people’s behavior to an entire generation of people (70 million?).

It’s you and your family, OP.

How do you know you’re not the idiot, assuming that the people you know better represent a generation?

Take “boomers” out of the equation. Why are there grandparents today who are much less involved and interested in their grandchildren than their own parents were, regardless of what generation they’re part of?

Exactly the point. It’s stupid to think 70 million people are going to act the same way just because of when they were born, esp when you get down to individuals?

OP’s issues with her parents are not based on when they were born.

[Anonymous]

Your children are not your parents responsibility.

Hire help.