Explain why this is a Boomer thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are a very selfish generation. I'm a yougner gen x and my mom hasn't had any interest in her grandkids since they were babies. "Oh Larla is in high school now? How nice. I leave for my cruise tomorrow."

lol. This totally cracked me up. I’m also young gen x. That’s my mom as well, to the T.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was a helicopter mom raising me but it's like pulling teeth to get her to come help for a week or two, and when she does come, she complains the entire time. Then she wonders why her grandkids never want to call her...

So you’re forcing her to come “help” when she clearly doesn’t want to, and then you’re shocked she complains? Sounds like you’re setting everyone up for a bad time, including your kids.

I’m not a boomer or a grandparent - mom of two teens. Poster above sounds like a selfish and entitled brat. I have boomer parents. I would NEVER expect them to come “help” with my kids for a week. Visit sure, have fun with them, sure. But they aren’t expected to “help out”. That’s what a nanny is for, which we had for years. Don’t have kids if you can’t raise them on your own and grow up and stop being selfish.

[Anonymous]

Seems normal to me for Boomers. They are very self absorbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are a very selfish generation. I'm a yougner gen x and my mom hasn't had any interest in her grandkids since they were babies. "Oh Larla is in high school now? How nice. I leave for my cruise tomorrow."

lol. This totally cracked me up. I’m also young gen x. That’s my mom as well, to the T.

Another gen-xer here. Laughing.I have definitely heard the exact same sentence mom. She's older now so she went into mourning when her cruising days were over and called me selfish and bitter for not being more empathetic and catering to her. Keep in mind I had/have kids at home and a husband with serious health issues and I doubt we will ever be in a position to go on fancy cruises.

[Anonymous]

We immigrated so did not have family help with kids, but my parents still helped when they visited and for post partum. Now, I look after my parents in the ways that I can.

When my children have kids, I will help them in the ways that they want - health permitting.

[Anonymous]

So we are boomers and even though we help out so much with our grandkids that they’re almost our own—and every one of our boomer friends with grandkids also helps out quite a bit even if not to our extent—I constantly read on this website how awful we are so I decided to dig a little deeper.

Yes, it appears we are overall not as helpful as prior generations and many of the younger generations label us as “selfish” when it comes to this as a result.

But what I really think is going on is that we are the first generation where the majority of homes are two income driven and where women were encouraged to pursue their careers and think about their own needs, etc. And you all are next in line. So I suspect you all will also approach being grandparents the way you perceive many of us to be—less helpful than your own grandparents. The times they are a changing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems normal to me for Boomers. They are very self absorbed.

As are all of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So we are boomers and even though we help out so much with our grandkids that they’re almost our own—and every one of our boomer friends with grandkids also helps out quite a bit even if not to our extent—I constantly read on this website how awful we are so I decided to dig a little deeper.

Yes, it appears we are overall not as helpful as prior generations and many of the younger generations label us as “selfish” when it comes to this as a result.

But what I really think is going on is that we are the first generation where the majority of homes are two income driven and where women were encouraged to pursue their careers and think about their own needs, etc. And you all are next in line. So I suspect you all will also approach being grandparents the way you perceive many of us to be—less helpful than your own grandparents. The times they are a changing.

Honestly? I'd be very surprised if I end up treating my kids and grandkids the way my mom does. I find her disinterest so hurtful (after hounding us to have kids in the first place...) that I couldn't turn around and do the same to my kids when they are adults. Time will tell, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems normal to me for Boomers. They are very self absorbed.

As are all of you.

+1. It seems the height of self-absorption to have kids and then get pissy when someone else doesn't want to take care of them. I don't have grandchildren yet and when I do, I'll do what I can to help my kids, but I've worked hard my whole life and have earned the right to spend my time as I wish and enjoy myself, rather than going back to caregiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are boomers and even though we help out so much with our grandkids that they’re almost our own—and every one of our boomer friends with grandkids also helps out quite a bit even if not to our extent—I constantly read on this website how awful we are so I decided to dig a little deeper.

Yes, it appears we are overall not as helpful as prior generations and many of the younger generations label us as “selfish” when it comes to this as a result.

But what I really think is going on is that we are the first generation where the majority of homes are two income driven and where women were encouraged to pursue their careers and think about their own needs, etc. And you all are next in line. So I suspect you all will also approach being grandparents the way you perceive many of us to be—less helpful than your own grandparents. The times they are a changing.

Honestly? I'd be very surprised if I end up treating my kids and grandkids the way my mom does. I find her disinterest so hurtful (after hounding us to have kids in the first place...) that I couldn't turn around and do the same to my kids when they are adults. Time will tell, of course.

Well, your mom isn't normal. I don't think anyone is claiming that our entire generation is so "disinterested" in their grandkids that it's "hurtful." I certainly don't know anyone like that. They're just generally less helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are boomers and even though we help out so much with our grandkids that they’re almost our own—and every one of our boomer friends with grandkids also helps out quite a bit even if not to our extent—I constantly read on this website how awful we are so I decided to dig a little deeper.

Yes, it appears we are overall not as helpful as prior generations and many of the younger generations label us as “selfish” when it comes to this as a result.

But what I really think is going on is that we are the first generation where the majority of homes are two income driven and where women were encouraged to pursue their careers and think about their own needs, etc. And you all are next in line. So I suspect you all will also approach being grandparents the way you perceive many of us to be—less helpful than your own grandparents. The times they are a changing.

Honestly? I'd be very surprised if I end up treating my kids and grandkids the way my mom does. I find her disinterest so hurtful (after hounding us to have kids in the first place...) that I couldn't turn around and do the same to my kids when they are adults. Time will tell, of course.

Well, your mom isn't normal. I don't think anyone is claiming that our entire generation is so "disinterested" in their grandkids that it's "hurtful." I certainly don't know anyone like that. They're just generally less helpful.

Wait so not getting to know your kid and being surprised that they're in high school now isn't being hurtful? Because plenty of us related with that poster when it came to our own parents. Sounds like there are plenty boomers that are just like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems normal to me for Boomers. They are very self absorbed.

As are all of you.

+1. It seems the height of self-absorption to have kids and then get pissy when someone else doesn't want to take care of them. I don't have grandchildren yet and when I do, I'll do what I can to help my kids, but I've worked hard my whole life and have earned the right to spend my time as I wish and enjoy myself, rather than going back to caregiving.

Well, I just find it rich that the younger generation (those with kids now) are about as self-absorbed as any yet here they are complaining about their parents being self-absorbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are boomers and even though we help out so much with our grandkids that they’re almost our own—and every one of our boomer friends with grandkids also helps out quite a bit even if not to our extent—I constantly read on this website how awful we are so I decided to dig a little deeper.

Yes, it appears we are overall not as helpful as prior generations and many of the younger generations label us as “selfish” when it comes to this as a result.

But what I really think is going on is that we are the first generation where the majority of homes are two income driven and where women were encouraged to pursue their careers and think about their own needs, etc. And you all are next in line. So I suspect you all will also approach being grandparents the way you perceive many of us to be—less helpful than your own grandparents. The times they are a changing.

Honestly? I'd be very surprised if I end up treating my kids and grandkids the way my mom does. I find her disinterest so hurtful (after hounding us to have kids in the first place...) that I couldn't turn around and do the same to my kids when they are adults. Time will tell, of course.

Well, your mom isn't normal. I don't think anyone is claiming that our entire generation is so "disinterested" in their grandkids that it's "hurtful." I certainly don't know anyone like that. They're just generally less helpful.

Wait so not getting to know your kid and being surprised that they're in high school now isn't being hurtful? Because plenty of us related with that poster when it came to our own parents. Sounds like there are plenty boomers that are just like that.

Some are, some aren't. I don't relate to much of this because my boomer parents (who are alive) weren't like this nor are any of my friend's grandparents. I'm generally shocked how hands on and involved so many are. I see them all the time at every school performance, birthday, milestone, etc. This was not like when I was a kid where grandparents weren't on hand so much including my own. I saw one grandmother once every few years.

[Anonymous]

70 million people behave the same way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:70 million people behave the same way?

They don't. It's just the usual malcontents from dysfunctional homes who think their norm is everyone's norm.