I have no desire to be around my toxic resentful son

[Anonymous]

WTF people. I would never turn my back on family. Never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 30-year-old son recently and abruptly moved back to town after several years living in Chicago with his girlfriend (no kids). For many years, he has had severe depressive mood swings that he won't treat. The mood swings typically consist of bitter/biting words, sarcasm, and resentment. He's hyper sensitive and finds reasons to be upset/lash out, and I am generally the target (his dad is deceased, and he had a similar mood disorder when we were married).

I didn't enjoy his visits and was always glad when he left. Now that he's here, he's pressing to visit, but I am not interested in visiting unless he is receiving medical treatment. I know this may seem extreme, but with all the recent reports of kids harming their parents, I have concerns about his untreated anger.

I love him, but from a distance at this point. Can anyone relate to distancing themselves from an adult child? What was the outcome?

Generational trauma is what you are creating. You are wrong here

[Anonymous]

I’ve found that people who use the word ‘toxic’ to describe others are often toxic themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF people. I would never turn my back on family. Never.

Yeah, you just might if your family became your big bully. A lot of people scapegoat others due to their own insecurities. And it is brutal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found that people who use the word ‘toxic’ to describe others are often toxic themselves

I find that when people make broad generalizations about lots of things they know nothing about, they are usually full of themselves and...often toxic. They just don't know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found that people who use the word ‘toxic’ to describe others are often toxic themselves

I find that when people make broad generalizations about lots of things they know nothing about, they are usually full of themselves and...often toxic. They just don't know it.

It’s their auto defense mechanism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF people. I would never turn my back on family. Never.

Yeah, you just might if your family became your big bully. A lot of people scapegoat others due to their own insecurities. And it is brutal.

No, I’m just loyal and emotionally stable. If op was emotionally stable she’d be able to deal with her own son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found that people who use the word ‘toxic’ to describe others are often toxic themselves

I find that when people make broad generalizations about lots of things they know nothing about, they are usually full of themselves and...often toxic. They just don't know it.

It’s their auto defense mechanism.

I don’t think you understand words

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you been treated for your own mental illness?

I am a happy, balanced person, and that's honestly what seems to trigger him.

The chances that a happy, balanced person produced a child this filled with rage as an adult are near zero. You are going to have to get real with yourself if you want anything about this to change.

You may not want anything about this to change, though.

This. No happy balanced person talks about their own child this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF people. I would never turn my back on family. Never.

Says someone who hasn’t experienced potentially lethal violence from a family member, a family and their drug abusing cohorts robbing you blind . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you been treated for your own mental illness?

I am a happy, balanced person, and that's honestly what seems to trigger him.

The chances that a happy, balanced person produced a child this filled with rage as an adult are near zero. You are going to have to get real with yourself if you want anything about this to change.

You may not want anything about this to change, though.

This. No happy balanced person talks about their own child this way.

What about genetics? It's not always Mom's genetics, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 30-year-old son recently and abruptly moved back to town after several years living in Chicago with his girlfriend (no kids). For many years, he has had severe depressive mood swings that he won't treat. The mood swings typically consist of bitter/biting words, sarcasm, and resentment. He's hyper sensitive and finds reasons to be upset/lash out, and I am generally the target (his dad is deceased, and he had a similar mood disorder when we were married).

I didn't enjoy his visits and was always glad when he left. Now that he's here, he's pressing to visit, but I am not interested in visiting unless he is receiving medical treatment. I know this may seem extreme, but with all the recent reports of kids harming their parents, I have concerns about his untreated anger.

I love him, but from a distance at this point. Can anyone relate to distancing themselves from an adult child? What was the outcome?

Jsut set boundaries and protect yourself.

Urge him to get a neuropsych test and get professional help and treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you been treated for your own mental illness?

I am a happy, balanced person, and that's honestly what seems to trigger him.

The chances that a happy, balanced person produced a child this filled with rage as an adult are near zero. You are going to have to get real with yourself if you want anything about this to change.

You may not want anything about this to change, though.

This. No happy balanced person talks about their own child this way.

Sounds like the father and adult son had/have some mental disorders.

Most “balanced people” would ID that and try to get them treated. Of course getting an over 18 yo male to do something often doesn’t work.

[Anonymous]

Save yourself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you been treated for your own mental illness?

Please stop with this mean-spirited trolling.

DP. I mean I was kinda thinking the same reading this. OP could have described my brother. I can’t stand him, but I’d never make the leap to him harming my single mother. I don’t think it would occur to her either, and believe me she’s an anxious person.

OP definitely has anxiety.

You have no idea what level of risk is presented by OPs son.

NP. “The mood swings typically consist of bitter/biting words, sarcasm, and resentment.” That doesn’t sound very risky. I agree, OP sounds overdramatic.

I'm missing what the mental illness is in this description.... or how there's a risk

(And I'm a clinical psychologist)

Sounds like mom is very sensitive to sarcasm and probably withdrew from kid and he resents that

I hope you're trolling. Or that you're still in school/under supervision.

The mother should find a therapist and/or they should go to family therapy.

Criticizing her just to make yourself feel self important? Not cool.