I have no desire to be around my toxic resentful son
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Anonymous
| The guy is mean to his mom. He's using his words. Why does everyone jump to the conclusion that he's going to be violent to the OP? Now THAT is crazy. |
Anonymous
You say he's using his words? LOL This is a "toxic" 30 year old man LASHING OUT at his mother.... NEVER acceptable in normal society! |
Anonymous
Well you're using all caps so.... |
Anonymous
The chances that a happy, balanced person produced a child this filled with rage as an adult are near zero. You are going to have to get real with yourself if you want anything about this to change. You may not want anything about this to change, though. |
Anonymous
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Is he receiving treatment? Do you know that he’s not?
What’s his relationship with his girlfriend? After several years, she must have some experience. I agree with others to meet elsewhere for your own peace of mind, and take it from there. If he starts down a path of behavior you don’t like, use your words to explain your boundaries. It’s not fair to shut him out without telling him why. It’s also not fair to make assumptions without checking. He’s back. Start this new phase of your life together with an open mind, but a commitment to set boundaries as needed. |
Anonymous
Because OP said this in her second post, when she answered a poster. “Mental illness is now synonymous with danger. Everyone has gone mad on a different level.” That’s blatantly false. |
Anonymous
No, that’s BS. Former DV advocate and former prosecutor here, which is my frame of reference and knowledge from which I’m making this assertion: The majority of women murdered are murdered by men who once claimed to love them. Lots of people think that means stalker, former or current partner. This is true, but - A substantial number of women murdered every year are murdered by their sons, whether teens who live with them in the house or adult sons who visit. Rageful men kill the women they blame for their anger, instead of dealing with the anger itself. A mother of a rageful son with mental health issues that are untreated should ABSOLUTELY engage in active safety planning to as best as possible avoid the unthinkable, and to do that, she MUST contemplate the unthinkable. Some sons murder their mothers. OP, don’t listen to the naysayers. You listen to YOUR gut. It very well could be about more than your peace of mind. |
Anonymous
No, that’s foolish. Mental illness happens even to the sons - and daughters - of happy balanced people. Sometimes when kids are troubled you can see the clear path from parenting to that, but we don’t have sufficient evidence here to make that conclusion and you are beyond way off the mark with your ‘near zero’ declaration - this former prosecutor has seen very loving parents trying to advocate for their seriously mentally ill son or daughter as they interact with the criminal justice system or the civil commitments system. |
Anonymous
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Listen to your instincts. I know someone whose adult son tried to kill them. He went on to kill someone else and is now in prison.
It’s shocking. There is so much mental illness - childhood trauma and adult drug use are big triggers. |
Anonymous
Not all parent of people with personality disorders are also disordered, so… |
Anonymous
This sounds like a reasonable approach, OP! Glad you are setting up boundaries. |
Anonymous
So you are doing remote diagnosis? And you are not crazy? |
Anonymous
Just STFU if you can't help. |
Anonymous
Verbal violence is still violence. It is not good for anybody. |
Anonymous
The young adults are very toxic these days. |