
For me, having DD (now 7 months old) meant giving up my health. She is a happy, beautiful, healthy baby, and for that I am so grateful and blessed. But since her delivery, I have had nothing but one medical problem after another. Surgery to repair my vagina, constant trembling, twitching and "vibrating" sensations in my arms and legs that never fully go away and drive me NUTS with anxiety, a superbug-type cold every two weeks that has me missing work and falling behind on mommy duties, and a general sense of real physical decline. Before having her, I was a runner who had no medical problems. Now, although I'm 34 years old, I feel a bitter 50.
I love my daughter SOO much. And no one can question that when I'm with her, we are sunshine and happiness. But there are days when everything hurts and I'm scared I'll never recover...and I wonder if it was worth it. It makes me cry to even type this, but it's true. |
I agree, I used to be a high school teacher and I chose to teach high school (even though I was certified k-12) because I enjoy older kids. I adore my 3 yo DD and having much more fun with her now than when she was an infant, but I can't wait until she can do more things ![]() |
In total agreement, PP. The kids are 14 and 16 and while we have our typical teenage scuffles, it's much more fun to parent (for me, at least) a kid who can do stuff for himself, doesn't need to be watched every moment, can use basic reasoning skills, etc. The more grown up they get, the more we can share interests, debate politics, and go to ballgames together without them getting bored and wanting to leave early even thought it's tied and this game has playoff implications for Mommy's team.
Those first five years, though...man. Some days I'd have handed them over to gypsies in a heartbeat, especially the younger one who loved to scream bloody murder in the grocery store so everybody could stop and stare at the horrible woman abusing her son in public. |
as an olderish parent, i think part of the issue is that many of us are just harder on ourselves because we've been in our professions for some time and may be overachievers, so being a parent seems hard because there's so little feedback, etc. it isn't that we don't enjoy it, we're just really hard on ourselves |
Sorry you are going through this. I had a dream pregnancy and delivery but admit I had a really crazy year of medical mysteries and ailments. Thankfully, now that she is 2, this past year has been calmer. I'm also 34 and was also a runner and very healthy. I caught every bug that first year, broke out in a SERIOUS case of hives that was a nightmare (may have been hormonal, was weaning, it was spring, no vaccines, allergies, etc. and could not find another cause), was run down and underweight from breast feeding, had to have oral surgery from a problem that started during pregnancy, and felt like an 80 year old getting out of bed in the morning. Things are better now. Not as sick, not as rundown, though definitely tired. I hope things improve for you - I think you'll find the next year is easier! |
Tell as many young women as you want, but PLEASE don't tell your DDs that you wish you hadn't had THEM!! |
I'm sure they already know. |